Keep an eye on these Olympians: America’s top hopes for Vancouver gold

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With only a few days to go before the Winter Olympic Games open in Vancouver, U.S. athletes stand their best chance in many years to grab some precious metal. Believe me, this time around you’ll be robbing yourself of incredible sports action if you cop your usual “who cares about the boring Winter Olympics” attitude. Here now, our nation’s top-ranked prospects:

Rob Kretchmander was a highly decorated long-range opposing-force-reduction contractor (sniper) in Afghanistan before making the U.S. biathlon team. In preliminaries held in Dubai, Rob bull’s-eyed an unprecedented 825 targets in a row and also took out a terrorist suspect lurking near the range. Though his shooting skills are downright uncanny, Rob’s skiing is a bit rusty, and his eligibility may depend on whether Olympics officials allow him to compete at night, his favored game time, using his trusty infrared scope.

The brother-sister team of Tom and Jennifer Flench represent America’s best shot at mixed-pairs ice dancing triumph since the unforgettable but tragic Yevgeny Putshakov and Lori Shigitsu gold-medaled in 2002. “I have never in my coaching career seen such remarkable coordination,” says noted coach Bello Dinsky. “They’re only 18 but they move as though they were joined at the hip which, come to think of it, they are.” It’s true! Tom and Jennifer are conjoined siblings, or Siamese twins, if you will, who, with hard work and perseverance, have miraculously turned what some might consider a “handicap” into an advantage we all can envy.

People sometimes used to call the middle position on the five-man bobsled the “forgotten man,” but Toby Rotterwild has emphatically put the stopper on that cliché. “Toby’s a born leader,” says awed teammate Frank Bebkin. “Or maybe I should say a born leaner. When he leans to the left, we all lean to the left. It’s not political. You just want to be where Toby is. He’s that good.” Though he missed a month of sitting practice in December due to a sprained left buttock, Toby is back with a vengeance, recently telling a sports blogger, “I’m ready. My ass is as sharp as it’s ever been.”

In women’s luge, a sport long dominated by the Nepalese, America suddenly has not just a hot contender but the odds-on favorite. Patti Untermeyer has literally turned the world of  luge upside down by becoming the first person to fling herself downhill headfirst and on her stomach. “I don’t know why nobody ever thought of this before,” says famed Belgian luge commentator Alain Dubermongelet. “I guess it was just an old tradition to luge feet first and on your back.” Boldly reversing her position, Patti found she could shave .003 of a second off her usual time which, in this intensely competitive event, was enough to rocket her to the top of the pack. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Patti Untermeyer has revolutionized her sport! Or as Dubermongelet puts it: “Patti’s prone to win.”

A demonstration sport until this year, two-man snowball fighting is now an official Olympic event and the U.S. has terrific prospects in the team of Bill Bonchek and Tad Montell. Growing up as neighborhood bullies in Minneapolis, Bill and Tad dominated their schoolyard snowball fights, frequently making other boys cry. Three years ago, they found they could boost their efficiency with Bill packing and Tad throwing. “It’s as much about throw rate as it is accuracy,” says Tad. “That and making sure you put a rock in each snowball.”