Somewhere, a dad says shit, a son tweets and a nation laughs
Image via CrunchBase
I’m not sure if the Twitter page titled shitmydadsays has gone viral or not but surely it must have gone at least bacterial. It seems to be striking a nerve.
The writer, who calls himself Justin, has more than 105,000 followers and rising. Rapidly.
All anyone knows about Justin so far is what his bio says: “I’m 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says.”
“Awesome” isn’t the term I’d use for dad. “Bitingly condescending” comes to mind, as well as “congenital grouch” and “a little bit loony.”
“Inadvertently hilarious” is another. Most important for Twitter, Dad does what he does in 140 characters or less.
I just hope that Justin really is a 28-year-old nobody from nowhere recording the real maxims of his real father and not one of Jon Stewart’s writers moonlighting by concocting one-liners. But either way, I wouldn’t be surprised to find Justin and Dad in next fall’s prime-time sitcom lineup
A sampling of Dad’s shit:
“How the fuck should I know if it’s still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn’t good. You people, you think I got microscopic eyes.”
“Who is this woman? Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks.”
“You need to flush the toilet more than once…No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet.”
“Don’t touch the bacon, it’s not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and I’ll let you handle…whatever it is you do. I guess nothing.”
“The dog is not bored. It’s a fucking dog. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He’s a god damned dog.”
“Your brother brought this baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big letdown.”
“The dog don’t like you planting stuff there. It’s his backyard. If you’re the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that.”
Post Your Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment
T/S Members
Log in with your True/Slant account.
If those Tweets really show up in the Fall prime-time lineup, I will definitely remember not to watch it. A “rerun” of Sanford and Son, even if PG or R, is still Sanford and Son – and we know that Redd Foxx was rated R or X when on broadcast TV.
Hmm, you’re right. There is a Foxxian quality to this. Nothing new under the sun, eh?
In response to another comment. See in context »Oops, I meant when he was NOT on broadcast TV.
Is Justin your son?
Why, I’ll give that little brat a smack he’ll never forget!
In response to another comment. See in context »This is Denis Leary working out what to do when he’s too old for “Rescue Me” — “The Life o’ Leary.”