Fake sport convinces real news organizations to report on fake fight

HOAXAMANIA!!!

When your career as a celebrity begins fading in the United States, you frequently find yourself going abroad to cash in on the fame you’ve built up that hasn’t worn off from overexposure. Bill Murray appeared in a whole movie about it (“SUN-tory Time”). Take the pro wrestling tour that headed down under with popular aging wrestlers at its helm. Ric Flair to square off against Hulk Hogan? No way, Australian teenage boys and adults who still act like teenage boys must have been thinking as the World Wresting Entertainment stars turned up on their continent for a change for the four-stop ‘Hulkamania‘ tour.

But you still have to get the warm bodies to pony up their dollars Australian and show up in the auditoriums across the land – and thus we have the fake fight that broke out during a press conference between Flair and Hulk Hogan, which was reported on breathlessly and without any investigation by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, the state-sponsored media outlet of our friends down under:

Hulk Hogan was apparently left battered and bruised after a bloody brawl with rival Ric Flair at a media conference in Sydney today.

The event, to promote a wrestling tour later this month, veered violently out of control when Hogan and Flair let their animosity break into what appeared to be a full-scale brawl.

Media were shocked when Hogan began bleeding profusely from the head and was unable to get to his feet.

Flair used his belt to whip anyone within range.

The Daily Telegraph reports one photographer had their equipment broken when Flair threw a table off the stage and into the press.

It was a dramatic twist, as the event had started well with the professional wrestlers discussing their careers.

via Hulk Hogan ‘attacked’ at press event – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation).

Here’s a video of the ‘fight’:

You can see the Fox Sports guy smirking, but TMZ swears to us, scouts honor, that it was real!

We know — you’re thinking it’s all BS to promote the fight, but we spoke with somebody in Hulk’s camp who insists the entire thing was real … the blood and the injuries.

To get as bloody as Hogan appeared in the photos, you’d think he got pounded over and over again by Flair. Instead, you can clearly see his open-hand swipe that splashed something all over Hogan’s face, and the quick sleight of hand as the guys behind Flair grab his arm, likely obscuring whatever he carried the fake blood in.

After a beatdown like this, one would expect a big gash in Hulk’s forehead after spewing so much blood, but, no, it was a total hoax, of course:

The wrestler subsequently turned up for another press conference at Sydney Football Stadium looking fit and healthy, prompting him to put an end to speculation surrounding the incident.

He tells Australia’s Wentworth Courier newspaper, “It took me about half an hour to get freshened up before I ran back out, it got a bit crazy. I didn’t plan on going backwards off the stage, that was a bit of a shock.”

To those about to cover any press conferences involving professional wrestlers embarking on a nationwide tour, we salute you and your quest to report the truth as journalists.