The brief literary career of Balloon Boy’s dad, Richard Heene

By now you’ve learned all about Falcon Heene, the boy-who-didn’t-take-a-balloon-ride, and his self-promoting family, led by paterfamilias Richard Heene.

Heene over the years as an ‘amateur scientist’ has not only succeeded in getting his family on Wife Swap twice, but he also made a hysterical rap video with his kids based on their Wife Swap experience. Oh and he’s got that whole kid’s TV show thing, and the ‘Science Detective.’

But did you know about Richard Heene, literary satirist?

Here’s the Amazon entry for ‘Offensive Driving,’ which appears to have been published by that, um, great imprint, Dick Weenie Productions in 1995. Here is the product description:

A spoof humor book on how to be an Offensive Driver. How to parallel park at 55 MPH, drive by splashings, what to do with road kill and much more. Offensive Driving contains over 190 humor pictures. Please look at this book as a way on “How not to Drive.”

If you are not up for this type of humor, do not purchase this book.

via Amazon.com: Offensive Driving (9780961605421): Richard Alan Heene: Books.

It looks like Heene was ahead of his time, what with all the websites and so forth not devoted to the concept of ‘offensive driving.’ Seriously, Google it.

I might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that when I looked this up yesterday, zero were available. Now they claim 2 new and 4 used, for as low as $8.46! Operators are standing by!

Now if we can just find a copy of Heene’s other opus, the “Herp-AIDS Detector/Deflector Kit,” which sounds really charming if you ask me.

Now, back to more important things: The media is asking the Larimer County sheriff if the family will be made to pay damages for the wheat field where the balloon came down. This is A Very Important Question.