Was there a 6-year-old boy in the balloon? [Update: Apparently not! Falcon Heene found safely]

Let’s face it, sometimes reality is way better than fantasy.

By now everyone in the world knows that a flying saucer-like hot air balloon floated off from Fort Collins, Colorado. While we thought for the past hour that a 6-year-old boy was in it, I see from my CNN live feed that it landed, empty.

Did the boy fall out? Was he never in it? I know which of those outcomes I’m hoping for. I sure hope he’s OK.

Gawker states that the boy was Falcon Heene, the youngest of three boys to Richard Heene and Mayumi Heene, storm-chasers, and also reality TV contestants. Take it away Joel McHale and The Soup:

E! took it down. Jerks. Here’s a summary.

According to some blogger named Frank, Richard Heene, the father of the maybe or maybe not up in the air Falcon, is a believer in anti-gravity and Offensive Driving:

It’s impossible to paint a true picture of Richard for you. I could tell you about the cocker spaniel he gave a purple mohawk in the 80s and pronounced a “Punker Spaniel.” I could tell you about the two books he’s published, The Herp-AIDS Detector/Deflector Kit and The Official Offensive Driving Handbook (designed and printed by yours truly).

I could tell you about how impressed my son Jimmy was when, at age 10, I took him to visit Richard in the abandoned house he was occupying. Jimmy was especially taken with the boarded-up windows and the Mickey Mouse cartoon graffiti on the interior walls. I could also tell you how Richard is convinced that he has found the secret of an anti-gravity device in the cyclonic action of tornadoes (watch this news report).

And here’s his website for The Science Detective, a show that I think is not going to be shown to children again anytime soon.

Good lord. Time to get to Googling.

***

Here’s a light-hearted broadcast apparently last year from a Louisiana TV station about the family chasing Hurricane Gustav. Watch as Heene makes the case that he’s father of the year:

More to come.

***

Oh my, this sounds like it’s going to have a very sad ending. From The Coloradoan:

The boy’s whereabouts are unknown. Local emergency officials are now alerting authorities with a description of the child. He is 3 feet high, wearing a dark blue shirt and blue jeans. A search of the southeast Fort Collins neighborhood is under way.

Larimer County Sheriff’s spokeswoman Kathy Messick told reporters about 2:30 p.m. that they are relying on a statement from Falcon’s older brother, Ryo, who told them that he saw Falcon crawl into a box that was attached to the aircraft. That box was not found when the aircraft landed after breaking free and floating from Larimer County, through Weld County and into Adams County.

She described the family as “very traumatized.” A victim’s advocate arrived at the house at 1 p.m.

I wonder if any early photos of the balloon show it with something hanging from down below.

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Update at 6:06 pm ET – Falcon Heene found safely at the family’s home apparently.

I hope this was a pure accident, and not at all a case of Jon and Kate Plus 8-envy. Someone on the news suggested that the ashamed boy Falcon might have run off after doing something wrong. That’d be great. I sure hope it’s not Mr. Heene using his self-promotional skills in a troubling manner.

The police official being interviewed on the air is stating that the Heene home was searched, but not thoroughly enough. The boy was found in a box in the family’s attic, and the sheriff speculated that the young Mr. Heene might have hid because of all the commotion and because he was afraid he got in trouble.

Sigh.

Time to get a drink. And now we can make this joke and not feel creepy.