Jenny Sanford should be the Republican Party’s candidate for president in 2012
My name is Michael Roston. Sometimes we haven’t gotten along all that well. But if you’re not complete morons, you’ll heed my advice and send every leader of your party packing and ask Jenny Sanford to be your candidate for President in 2012. She is your new hero. Read this statement she just issued, which blew my mind, and the mind of my double in an alternate reality in which Jenny Sanford does not actually exist.:
I personally believe that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street, or the campaigns I managed for Mark, or the work I have done as First Lady or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged. Instead, the greatest legacy I will leave in this world is the character of the children I, or we, leave behind. It is for that reason that I deeply regret the recent actions of my husband Mark, and their potential damage to our children.
I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that has been consistently reflected in my actions. When I found out about my husband’s infidelity I worked immediately to first seek reconciliation through forgiveness, and then to work diligently to repair our marriage. We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. I therefore asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.
Mrs. Sanford should divorce her husband immediately, and open a political action committee. She ran her husband’s campaign for election as governor, and re-election, and was Vice President for M&A at Lazard Freres & Co. She QUOTED THE BIBLE in her statement explaining why she kicked her cheating husband, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina, to the curb.
You’d rather have Sarah Palin and her snowbilly kin in the White House? Then you deserve the turd you’ll all be eating the morning after November 4, 2012 to cure your hangover.
True/Slant’s homepage editor