This is why I’m ‘friends’ with Palin

Image by scriptingnews via Flickr

It’s not that I like being listed as a Sarah Palin supporter on Facebook.  Especially since Palin’s Facebook friends do things like celebrate Ted Kennedy’s death. But being Palin’s friend has its advantages.  Like Palin’s “friends” are really pissed  about an article in October’’s Vanity Fair with her former almost son-in-law, Levi Johnston called “Me and Mrs. Palin.”

Levi Johnston: “Me and Mrs. Palin”: Vanity Fair | Vanity Fair.

In the Vanity Fair article and a much more gossipy one in US Magazine, Mr. Johnston reveals Palin to be an absent mother, a bitchy wife, and a scheming politico.  Not very surprising, I know, but listen to what that boy has to say:

Apparently Palin wanted to hide Bristol’s pregnancy by pretending it was hers:

Sarah kept mentioning this plan. She was nagging — she wouldn’t give up. She would say, ‘So, are you gonna let me adopt him?’ We both kept telling her we were definitely not going to let her adopt the baby.”

After she lost the election, she whined about how hard it was to be governor when she could be making more money and doing less work as an author or TV personality.

(Palin) walked around the house pouting,” Levi writes. “A week or two after she got back, she started talking about how nice it would be to quit and write a book or do a show and make ‘triple the money.’ It was, to her, ‘not as hard.’ She would blatantly say, ‘I want to just take this money and quit being governor.’”

Perhaps even worse, she is NOT the hot, sexy wife we all fantasized about.  In fact, Levi says

In all the time Bristol and I were together, I’ve never seen them sleep in the same bedroom.” He adds that Todd “slept in the living room, on his little black recliner, with the TV going in the background–usually with the news or an Ultimate Fighting Championship match on–wearing clothes he wore that same day.  There was a lot of talk of divorce in that house… Todd would say, ‘All right, do you want a divorce? Is that what you want? Let’s do it! Sign the papers!’ They’d either stop and be fine or Sarah would go to her room.”

Of course, Palin’s real friends over at www.conservatives4Palin.com are quick to show the Vanity Fair article as a series of lies and fabrications.  The truth is, Palin really does know how to cook.

This is a woman who saved Alaska money by eliminating the previous governor’s personal chef, so perhaps Team Levi should have reconsidered this lie. They might have also remembered that this same woman was seen on national television cooking for Greta van Susteren and Matt Lauer.

Okay, Palin cooked on TV with Matt Lauer.  Clearly, this crazy story about her not cooking is a lie.  But she and the First Dude don’t seem to be going at it anymore (not that I blame her – the First Dude is kind of a dud) and that is of course the real issue.  After all, the reason Palin become so popular so fast is that she ignited a certain set of desires and fantasies about the middle-aged woman who could be incredibly successful in her career, a loving parent to a whole clan of kids, AND sexy.  We all remember America’s obsession with her – and not just the Right’s – as always laden with lust.

I distinctly recall standing in an ultra hip chocolate and wine bar in Brooklyn listening to some ultra-left men try to explain why they thought Palin was “not that bad.”  Apparently McCain was mean and racist and hated poor people, but Palin, well, you know, she’s… um… sexy.

I also remember the day my Sarah Palin action figures arrived- they came in three styles: business woman, naughty school girl, and sexy secret agent.  The secret agent one has a super short mini skirt and no underwear, but she does have a pistol strapped to her thigh just in case you try to get fresh with her.

So now the argument between Palin’s friends and enemies continues:  she’s a mean and nasty person who doesn’t care about her own family, let alone people in general vs. she’s smokin’, um, I mean, a good leader and role model.  Somehow, no matter how much ironic distance I put between my obsession with Sarah Palin and my politics, I can’t help wondering if I should send her a Facebook wink and ask her out on a date or my resignation as her “friend.”