Hey Mayor Daley, we’ve got some fundraising ideas for you

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Chicago is broke and Mayor Daley is trying to balance next year’s budget. There’s a $520 million budget deficit for the city,  a $104 million deficit for Chicago Public Schools (and that’s after more than $400 million in cost cutting), and a $300 million deficit at the CTA. The guy in charge has got to be looking around for more money.

We’ve already sold off some of the city’s assets — parking meters and the Skyway. But the Mayor is already tapping into those funds and they won’t last long. What’s next, a second attempt to unload Midway Airport?

The Community Media Workshop is reporting Chicago’s water supply may be worth something and under consideration, according to a Public Works Financing newsletter last spring.

A water department spokesman didn’t confirm or deny the report, but was dismissive. “I hear these rumors periodically, but so far there hasn’t been anything to it,” said Tom LaPorte.

Other cities have tried it. According to the story, Akron and Milwaukee residents voted the notion down, but Indianapolis leased their water supply and residents now pay higher rates because of it. What a boondoggle it would be. Mayor Daley could conceivably sell off access to a Great Lake that supplies communities downriver and along the Mississippi with fresh water. That ought to raise enough cash to get him through the next election.

Maybe we’d all get personal pay boxes like the new ones for parking. Swipe our credit cards every time we want a hot shower or run the dishwasher? Boat owners would pay a toll to pass through the locks and beach goers couldn’t take a dip in the summer without paying. Of course fees would go up during peak times like the Fourth of July, Memorial Day weekend and heat waves.

I don’t think anything is really beyond consideration, so let’s offer up some suggestions. The CTA perhaps? Chicago Confidential’s Melissa Harris suggests selling the naming rights. Maybe to a retailer like Target or Macy’s. Too bad Marshall Field’s is gone, that would have gone well with vintage CTA green.

What about the Taste of Chicago? Maybe we could outsource it to Rich Melman and Lettuce Entertain You. They’ve always done a nice job with the bread and circus’, and at least he’s local.

We could sell the public art. I wonder what the Picasso would fetch on eBay? At the very least, lease it out for 100 years or so. Someone pays an assessed fee upfront and at the end of the lease, gets the difference between that and the appreciation.

Tankboy on Twitter suggests selling the snowplows. “There aren’t enough people to run em anymore, anyway.” And that way, the Mayor is off the hook when people complain about unplowed streets. It won’t be his problem anymore.

How about selling off city officials? We can’t seem to vote them out and the indictments aren’t coming fast enough. What’s an alderman worth anyway?