Oprah’s bringing the City that Works to a full stop

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We’re just a few weeks away from the International Olympic Committee’s decision of who will host the 2016 summer games, and the Chicago PR machine is kicking into overdrive. There’s so much crap being heaped on the populace it’s hard to know where to begin criticizing, but Oprah seems a good place to start.

The talk show host/public opinion shaper wants to celebrate a new TV season with a live event, and she needs to shut down Michigan Ave. to do it. For three days. Mayor Daley said sure, and now downtown will be a tangle of diverted traffic, buses re-routed and offices forced to close early. Because, he claims, “This is really important. This is a great opportunity. I’m very proud.”

Daley spouted a lot more incomprehensible nonsense on the subject including: “She’s an icon in the industry. It’s very, very important. What other cities do it? Take New York City. Take Los Angeles. . .For the filming industry, they do this every day, unfortunately.” And about the colossal inconvenience, “They’ll understand how important this is, dealing with jobs, dealing with international exposure.”

Because it really is about the International exposure. Last year, Oprah opened her 23rd season by pimping, er promoting,  Chicago to the Olympic committee and welcoming the returning U.S. athletes back from the 2008 games in Beijing. Daley got to be on the Oprah Show and make Chicago look like a great host city. That was taped in Millennium Park and merely inconvenienced people for less than a day. Not three.

Because why have a live venue on an existing stage, when you can erect one over the Chicago River? Certainly, the  Black Eyed Peas will sound better with a city street-scape stretching behind than a mere skyline. Even I can’t argue with that, mostly because I’m not a fan of the Black Eyed Peas and would rather have something else to focus on.

But I won’t be watching, because it’s during the work day, and neither will many Chicagoan’s. The ones whose offices are downtown will be trying to navigate around a mess and the rest of us will be far too busy looking for jobs, trying not to get mugged or shot, paying higher taxes and pumping endless amounts of quarters into parking meters.

We really ought to change that slogan. The City That Doesn’t Work is far more appropriate.