2010 trend alert: the year your fat becomes ‘phat’
You wish I was referring to cooking.
Alas, my Inbox greeted me this morning with a press release from a cosmetic surgeon’s website, informing me that my ‘Fat Was Phat‘ this year. Necessary for hormone production, insulation for my inner organs, and padding for long bike rides, maybe. But – the press release wants me to ask – what else has my fat done for me lately?
Not as much as it could, apparently. 2010 has been marked as the year that fat takes over the plastic surgeon’s office, with new procedures utilizing human body fat to aesthetically “improve” the body.
The year 2010 ushers in a new decade where science , beauty, and your own fat consummate a marriage that promises to deliver one of the most disruptive medical technologies of the century.
That’s an interesting visual, right there. Science, vanity and a liposuction siphon getting all up and at each other. And the end result, apparently, includes less bleeding and fewer scars. And I think we can all agree that blood and scarring do not a good consummation make. If you’re into the idea of using your own fat to create a new you (as a lifestyle choice, not a science experiment), here are a few of the real winners:
Stem cell facelift. Human fat tissue is a rich source of pluripotent adult stem cells, which could come in handy for lifesaving procedures and medical cures for ailments like Parkinson’s, fatal wounds, and the creation of new organs. And, most importantly, of course, the stem cells will be a godsend for cosmetic surgery. Your fat would be sucked from your thigh or stomach, stem cells cultivated, and then re-injected into your face. All that for the low, low price of $5,000.
Brazilian butt lifting. Before the wonderful possibility of fat injections became a medical reality, butt implants used silicone and were accompanied by a high risk of infection. Not to mention “a less sensuous look” when compared to the Brazilian lift method. What is it? Fat is again siphoned from your body, and then re-injected – hundreds of times – to fill out your rear. According to this surgeon, the method results in “a youthful, prominent, perky buttocks and a more sensual body profile.” Until you remember that you just had your own fat injected into your ass, right?
Fatty breast implants. If you’re looking for a little bump in bosom size, rather than the all-or-nothing Pamela Anderson approach, this doctor recommends fat injections for boobs, too. Six to eight small shots of – again – your own fat cells – are pumped into each breast, for a slightly bigger, fuller cup size. And if you’re interested in trying fatal septic shock, this might be an excellent procedure to toy with – as long as you don’t mind the subsequent “contraction and contracture of the mammary gland and skin, with traumatic aesthetic outcomes.”