That would be a memorable orgy: Health Canada warns about Acai laced with Viagra

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I’ve written before about the health food scam that is acai. The so-called ’superfruit’ has been touted for its apparently miraculous health benefits, including diabetes prevention, weight loss and – the key claim to most scams – a better sex life.

A much, much better sex life, according to a press release issued by Health Canada this week. They’ve warned against the purchase of online acai berry supplements, because the tablets might be laced with Sildenafil. In case you haven’t explored the world of erectile stimulants yet, Sildenafil is usually referred to as Viagra.

Sexy. So, what do we have here? Pills that contain extract from a berry supposed to boost energy levels and promote weight loss, combined with traces of a medication designed to promote erections. If acai actually worked as marketed, that sounds like a pretty good deal, yes?

Ah – no. First of all, acai, as I’ve said before, does not work. From the Center for Science in the Public Interest:

“If Bernard Madoff were in the food business, he’d be offering ‘free’ trials of açai-based weight-loss products….Law enforcement has yet to catch up to these rogue operators. Until they do, consumers have to protect themselves.”

If I’m not mistaken, acai laced with Viagra requires even more protection: women and men with lean bodies and heightened energy levels, along with unstoppable erections? Combine that visual with the reality that most acai fans, Oprah included, are probably middle-aged health spazzes or granola-loving vegan stereotypes, and you have a very unique orgy in a Whole Foods stockroom on your hands. I’m starting to think those “rogue operators” were onto something.

Sure, acai is probably bunk, but there’s no reason you can’t benefit from a little placebo effect. And aside from Viagra’s unfortunate side effects – vision loss, stroke, heart attacks – this all sounds tickity-boo in my books. Leave it to uptight Canadian bureaucrats to kill a good time.

Before you’re too late to join the party, here are the products that Health Canada’s hoping to pull:

Anti-Aging Acai Berry, Guarana Blast Brazilian Pure Anti-aging Vital Rez V, Weight Loss VitalAcai, Dietary Supplement Acai Power Blast, and Muscle Mass.