‘Whatever works’ is a Wiik gym class mantra

Image by AFP/Getty Images via Daylife

I always hated P.E. Not because I disliked sports, or sweating, or because I had a pervy gym teacher (didn’t we all?). But there’s just something about pulling on cotton drawstring shorts in a sweaty locker room, the smell of waxed gymnasium floors and pre-teen perspiration and the inevitability of having a ball slammed in one’s face – at some point, it happens to everyone – that was a bit of a turn-off. Most likely, the lame excuse for physical fitness at my high school (and most others) meant that I didn’t exactly log much of a workout during those three hours a week.

But I’ve got to say, after doing a little digging into the latest and greatest gym class trend sweeping the nation, I’m thankful for the cotton shorts and black eyes of my youth. According to Nassau, Long Island’s Newsday, more than half of P.E. teachers across the country will use some kind of technology or a virtual system – Playstation 2, Wii Fit, etc – as part of their gym curriculum this year. If you aren’t familiar with the Wii Fit and co., just imagine standing in front of a TV monitor and either stretching, swinging an imaginary bat or rolling an imaginary bowling ball. The programs offer “lessons” in yoga, along with simulated golf, tennis, running and – if you’re looking for the mega calorie burn – bowling.

What I’m not-so-subtly suggesting here is that Wii Fit, and its counterparts, are not replacements for workouts, and especially not replacements for P.E. classes. Unless schools were literally having children sit on the floor of the gymnasium for an hour, I suspect that the typical, lax phys ed basketball games or soccer matches would be more beneficial than an hour of Wii Fitting. And science is with me here. A recent study at the Research Institute for Sport and Exercise Sciences determined that the energy expenditure of children using a Wii Fit was “not a high enough intensity to contribute towards the recommended daily amount of exercise in children.” And another trial, this one at the Children’s Digital Media Center at Georgetown University, determined that a virtual workout was akin to “a moderate intensity” exercise session. What is a moderate intensity exercise session? A walk.

And the idea of computerized P.E. isn’t just bad for cardiovascular health: human interaction, whether having a ball thrown at your face or cooperating with your teammates, is an important part of a child’s upbringing. At John F. Kennedy Middle School in Nassau, kids wear heart-rate monitors and “compete against themselves” rather than their classmates, with heart rate determining GPA:

The longer kids hit their target heart rate – generally 135 to 175 beats a minute – the better the evaluation they receive. “If they’re not in the zone, it negatively affects their grades,” said phys ed teacher Ted Nagengast. “It makes the kids much more accountable.”

Come on. Kids compete against themselves all the damn time – because they spend hours a day sitting silently in classrooms trying to do better than a C -, in front of their home computers trying to beat their own Halo score, or in front of the TV trying to stay awake for late-night porn. All of that solitary sitting is part of the problem, so plopping kids in front of another computer, with a heart rate monitor strapped to their chests, shouldn’t be part of the solution. Not to mention the cost: in New York State, education administrators hope they can obtain “private donations” to finance the expense of computerizing fitness (a Wii system runs around $200, and a single game is $90).

What? For real? I’ve never attended public school in New York, but I’m inclined to suspect that “private donations” could go towards other resources  (teacher salaries, to name one) and that P.E. classes can stick to reinforcing the basic, sweaty fun of sports. Because sports and games are – genuinely – very fun. And while I agree that, perhaps, it’s harder now than it was in the past to prove to kids and teens that physical exertion can be a good thing, it’s certainly not impossible. John Ray, an administrator with the Delaware Dept. of Education, says that school mantras ought to be “whatever works” to get kids moving.

Lame. How about “what works”? Which is not virtual pseudo-fitness. Not a workout, not cost-effective and definitely not as fun as actually throwing a ball or hitting third base. Imagine if little Dominique Duncan was the future of fitness:

Dominique, 14, played on a Nintendo Wii…the system uses a hand-held controller to move an animated character in synch with the flicking motion players make as they mimic hitting a ball. Dominique likes to play the game. She even has a Wii system at home. But does she think she is getting any exercise when she plays it? “It really doesn’t do anything, not for me,” she said. “It’s mostly your wrist.”