Working out in Paris: Now a more extreme experience
If your dream gym is all about dim lighting and candles, disco balls and live DJ’s, and overcompensation for small penises, America’s got you covered. But if you’d prefer something even more out-there and psychedelic, Paris’ new Sports Center is the place to be. And while there are lots of small penises around, it’s not what you think: this gym is designed for those under the age of sixteen.
The architectural marvel, dubbed an “athletic fun house,” is a 16,000 square-foot fitness experience for kids, with trippy colors, weird shapes, massive windows and even a rooftop playing area for racket sports. And among the amenities: a full-scale climbing wall and an entire padded climbing room, lounging areas with ping-pong and Foosball games, a cooking class studio, fencing area and a stellar set of skateboarding ramps and jumps. Check it out, courtesy of KOZ Architects, who spent four years on the project:
That’s extreme – and so unfair that this uber-gym is kid’s only. To recap: adult Americans can choose between a) concrete-floored gyms that reek of sweat and grunting meat-heads, or b) nightclub-wanna-be-gyms owned by everyone’s favorite small penis over-compensator. Oh, and our kids? They’re working out at McDonald’s indoor playgrounds, gliding down slides littered with the very burger wrappers and greasy fries that conspire to ensure their early, obese demise.
Parisians, on the other hand, can send their tots to the coolest, classiest, raddest gym ever. And then go nibble on a croissant, sip an espresso, and slink into their skinny jeans. Or, at least, that’s what resentful, American diet-book authors want me to think.