So, You Think You Can Run?

The Paradise Lakes 5K

As temperatures rise, runners nationwide are lacing up their shoes to hit the pavement instead of the treadmill. And more are hitting the racing scene than ever before: in 2007, over 900,000 Americans finished at least one road race, compared to 600,000 a decade ago. But if you’ve already got the standard 5K under your belt, how about something a little more unique this summer? My picks for your best extreme races:

Wife Carrying World Championships.

Those with Finnish heritage may have the best chance at a prize: wife carrying has been a tradition there since the 19th century, when it was common practice to steal women from neighboring villages. Today, we’ve made the race our own, with yearly events in Michigan, Wisconsin and Maine. Men navigate obstacles and rough terrain, while carrying a female teammate in the manner of their choosing. But petite ladies need not apply: women are required to weigh at least 49kg to participate.

Hood to Coast.

If you’d prefer teamwork over team-carrying, the Nike Hood to Coast is the longest relay in the world, spanning 197 miles from the top of Oregon’s Mt. Hood to the sandy coastline along the Pacific Ocean. Registration is limited to 1,000 teams per year, and each participant runs 3 of the 36 legs, which vary from 3 to 7 miles. Registration is already closed for the August, 2009 race – but show up anyways. Race weekend is billed as “the biggest beach party on the west coast.”

The Beer Mile.

The most celebrated of all “digestive sport” racing events (which now include donuts, pancakes and chocolate milk), Beer Mile runs abound across the country, mostly on college campuses (surprise, surprise). Participants drink one full beer and then run 1/4 mile, repeating the process four times, for a total of 36 oz. of booze. And pukers beware: you’ll be forced to run an additional penalty lap for your pitiful showing. With over 900 races nationwide, there’s probably one near you. Goodie!

Paradise Lake Nude Race.

Of course, the state with the most senior citizens will obviously boast the most nude road races, right? Florida is home to a handful of clothing-optional events, including the Paradise Lake Nudist Resort’s Sneaker Streaker 5K. Around 200 participants shed their threads (but keep the shoes on) for the scenic jog, and are rewarded with a free daypass to Paradise Lakes, for even more dare-to-bare fun! No numbers on how many racers are also in the 60+ crowd, but you’ve been warned.

Twelve Mile 500

To be sure, running is not for the faint of heart – especially when it’s done naked, drunk or carrying a heavyset woman. If you’d prefer a less strenuous competition, try Indiana’s Twelve Mile 500 lawnmower race, now in its 47th year (and apparently the oldest such event in America). On July 4th, be a true patriot and rev up your riding mower for a 15-mile race around a track. But don’t even think about adding a few bells and whistles to your engine: a strict speed limit of 15 mph is enforced.