Hannukah is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and I don’t care
Image by striatic via Flickr
As if wrapping yet another gift and having nine people for Hannukah dinner tonight weren’t enough, I just took a break for a wee bit more masochism and read two articles (here and here) about how overblown and present-laden this minor Jewish holiday has become here in America, where we all know that Happy Holidays really means Merry Christmas.
I know full well that Hannukah has become too commercial and too much like Christmas. But here’s the thing: I don’t care. Having grown up in a wishy-washy sort of Jewish family that some years celebrated Hannukah and some years exchanged presents on Christmas morning, I’m just happy that my children know “from whence they come” (to borrow a phrase from Adelaide in the very Christian musical “Guys and Dolls”).
It’s not easy being a Jewish child in December, especially in a town that has an official tree lighting and a visit from Santa at the village hall. My younger son has mentioned more than once how envious he is of his “half and half” friends who celebrate Christmas and Hannukah. It’s not just the present tally that makes him (ever)green, it’s the whole spectacle of the holiday.
Our Hannukah may be less than “pure,” meaning that my kids get more than chocolate money as gifts. But by lighting candles, eating latkes and gathering with family, we are celebrating our own religious freedom and our decision not to assimilate. If that is accompanied by unwrapping a long-desired toy or even a new (mon dieu!) video game, it doesn’t make it any less important.
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Ah the Hanukkah dilemma (first off could we get one agreed on spelling)! Now when my parents were still married we got small silly gifts on the 8 nights and on xmas morning would come down stairs to find our “Hanukkah bush” sprayed white branches with blue and silver balls hanging from them in a large decorative urn with the big presents stacked under it. Now when I was 10 my parents split up and both my parents married non-jews. Then things really got busy, both holidays were celebrated full tilt in both my parents home! I do remember when my maternal great grandfather saw we had a real life Christmas tree commented to my mother, his grand daughter, “Every needle on that tree represents a dead Jew”
Happy Holidays!
Oy, with a childhood like that, you must be one crazy mixed up Jew. Thank you for the best laugh of my day!
In response to another comment. See in context »True, but we cleaned up present wise, nothing is better for raking in the goodies than divorced parents holiday guilt! The first post divorce holiday I got a portable TV from my mom and a portable stereo from my Dad!
In response to another comment. See in context »Which shows that at least your parents were still talking….
In response to another comment. See in context »At Chanukkah/Shabbos services last night, our Rabbi spoke about growing up in Israel and not learning about “chanukah bushes’ and such until he got here, about being sad at how many American children thought of Chanukah as the Jewish Xmas, as their consolation prize for being left out. He pointed out that Xmas falls on a Friday this year, so we can celebrate Xmas by having Shabbat dinner. And as he put it, “And of course you still have Xmas eve, which is when you should indulge in that most American of jewish traditions, Chinese food. Walk into a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Eve and you will believe that a new Mitzvot was added to the 613: On Dec. 24 of each year thou shalt forget all that stuff about pork and shellfish and gather with thy community to partake of Chinese cuisine.”
In response to another comment. See in context »How many times (this week) have I had someone say to me, “well, what about Chanukkah?” In response to my, “I don’t celebrate Christmas,” when asked about my holiday preparations or expectations. They actually want to argue with me, about the importance of Chanukkah and all the presents.
I’ve always wanted to spend December in Israel. To be free of this and just celebrate whatever way it’s supposed to be. I was there many years ago for all the fall holidays and it was eye opening. The first time in my life my own holidays were front and center, not marginalized or forced. Lovely.
That does sound lovely, Laura. I hope to experience it someday.
In response to another comment. See in context »My 7-year-old a few weeks ago said he didn’t want to be Jewish anymore and wanted to celebrate Christmas like the rest of his friends. It’s tough to convince a tot about the joys of Judaism (latkes!) when we’ve got a benevolent gift-giver in a big red suit to contend with. But I’ve got some questions for Christmas lovers here: http://trueslant.com/hilaryshenfeld/2009/11/29/five-christmas-conundrums/
Am I the first gentile to comment on this?
See, here’s the thing about Christmas: once you’re over the age of about 14, it mostly sucks.
You have to spend oodles of time with your family, including family members you don’t like. There is always tension and there’s always drama. Somebody inevitably gets too drunk, which usually sets off a fight. Those who are parents of younger children are up into the wee hours getting the gifts ready for the young ones and are suffering from sleep deprivation by the time Christmas morning rolls around. And there are more fights, inevitably.
Meanwhile, you have to cook, multiple and various meals for each part of the day – Christmas Eve day stuff, Christmas Eve night feast, Christmas Morning, Christmas Dinner and on and on.
Then there is the ongoing and inexorable debate as to whether or not you should go to Midnight Mass and, if so, to which church. [I am quite proud to say that despite 13 years of Catholic education and being a lecture in my parish as a teenager, I have never attended Midnight Mass. Since I’ve got this record going, I hope to keep it rolling until the day I die.]
And every family demands that you spend Christmas with them, If you don’t, you will pay for it well past the Feast Day of St. Joseph (in March!) For instance, my uncle married a woman from Philadelphia. They would spend Christmas Eve evening with us (Italian and Czech Catholics) and then drive all night from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia to spend Christmas Day with her family (Irish Catholics).
Oh, and did I mention the expense?
In short, if you didn’t grow up Christian, unfettered by the insanity that is Christmas, you should be grateful, not envious.
Which seems to suggest, Jody, that next year you should forgo Christmas and spend Hannukah with your partner’s family!
In response to another comment. See in context »Oh the guilt at this end. Not even measurable by current digital technology. Besides, if Hannukah is more and more like Christmas, that’s a huge disincentive for me. However, if we’re going to see a movie and get some Chinese food, I’ll strongly consider it.