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May. 28 2010 - 10:55 am | 115 views | 0 recommendations | 1 comment

BREAKING: Birther march canceled everybody! Take this time not to buy a dictionary

Tea Party intellectual

GUYS!  Phew, I’m glad I got to you in time.  I know most of you are currently in the process of loading up the Soccer Van with ham sandwiches and Mayo packets in preparation for Saturday’s New March On Washington.  Well, put those Mayo packets back on the spice rack, friends.  THE MARCH IS OFF, freedom is dead, this isn’t my America, has there always been poop in my pants or is this a new development?

I’m not going to try to stretch this post out any longer than necessary, so let’s turn to Mr Dave Weigel, the keeper of all things right wing in this country, Mother Russia.  He quotes Philip J. Berg, the attorney who announced the march, as saying:

Due to scheduling conflicts and the importance of this March, the date of the OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE / ELIGIBILITY/ OBAMACARE March on Washington is being rescheduled to sometime in August / September 2010. The new date will be announced shortly.

This march is so important it gets a capital letter, making it one of the twelve months.  “The importance of this March” is that it comes after February, etc.  But, also, who wants to get a road trip together for all of August/September, which are also important months, maybe now more than ever?

In all seriousness, marching on Washington is good and should be encouraged.  It’s just, well, there are plenty of things wrong with Obama and his administration that are much more serious than his birth certificate.  Like the killing American citizens thing.  Maybe you guys could write up a sign for that?


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  1. collapse expand

    Berg should know that August is definitely out of the question. Glenn Beck has scheduled his gathering at the Lincoln Memorial, where he promises to reveal THE PLAN that God has revealed to Beck.

    Apparently, God can’t be bothered to Twitter.

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    I'm a stand up comedian and writer based out of Brooklyn, NY. My comedy sketches have been featured on The New York Times' humor blog and CNN, and I have previously contributed to The Onion.

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