Iranian cleric would like you sluts to stop causing Earthquakes

Hey look, some Iranian cleric is taking a page out of Pat “Haiti made a deal with the Devil” Roberts‘ playbook by accusing all you slutty Iranian WOMEN of making the Earth get a boner and shake and shake because you all refuse to cover up your Satanic skin.  If promiscuity is a problem, maybe I should go to Iran to investigate?!

Tracy Clark-Flory writes in Salon about Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, a cleric who said in Friday prayers:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.” [emphasis totally mine.]

Though Sedighi’s accusation is probably an exaggeration, we might want to err on the John Bolton side of things and bomb Iran before their lusty, sultry, Earthquake-causing women kill us all.

On the plus side, the next time I meet an Iranian woman I have a built-in pick up line.

ME: Baby, here’s a question for you.  How am I like the Earth?

IRANIAN WOMAN: I get it, you saw that story, hahaha, you’re so clever.

ME: If I see see any of your skin, I’m just gonna start shakin’ and shakin’ and killin’ people indiscriminately –

IW: UGH.

I’ve got high hopes.