Big 12 Conference Going Down Like a 98 Pound Weakling

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I grew up on comic books. On the back page of most of these comics there was always a cheesy ad. I remember this ad because it dominated my early childhood. It was the Charles Atlas ad featuring a 98-pound weakling being bullied on a beach. Through the miraculous Charles Atlas system, that same 98-pound weakling is transformed into the “Hero of the Beach,” whereupon he vanquishes the bullies and, of course, gets the girls. (Okay, there were also the ubiquitous Sea Monkey ads on the backs of comics that nobody of a certain age can forget, for if you ordered them, what arrived via snail mail was a packet of dried up salted shrimps that never did anything. I viewed it as an early lesson in caveat emptor.)

But this week, I found myself thinking about that particular Charles Atlas ad because I was wondering just when the Big 12 Conference turned into a 98-pound weakling? The Big 10 and Pac-10 moseyed on into America’s breadbasket (and beef basket) like that bully on the beach and kicked sand in the eyes of the Big 12. They cherry-picked them at will, and these raids are likely just the opening salvo.

If you haven’t been paying attention, here’s what’s happened so far.

Colorado is leaving the Big 12 (reducing it to 11 teams) to join the Pac-10, which would make it, unofficially, the Pac-11 (although admittedly that doesn’t have the same sweet ring as the Pac-10.)

Meanwhile, Nebraska is leaving the Big 12 (which departure makes the Big 12 unofficially the big 10.) The Cornhuskers headed to the official Big 10 conference (comprised of 11 teams) which, with the addition of Big Red, would make it a 12 team conference, although not The Big 12. Got it? Great. Moving on, then.

Currently, the Big 12, the original one, now with 10 teams mostly in the square states, is treading water, trying to withstand these raids and not simply disappear into the diaspora. The teams which remain (and yes, we’re talking about teams here because the actual colleges ceased to factor in these types of equations quite a while ago) are:  Baylor, Iowa State, Kansas, Kansas State, Missouri, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, and Texas.) Nothing personal, but in this kind of power grab, many of those teams are at the mercy of the bigger, more powerful players. Kansas has one of the very best basketball programs in the country, but these maneuvers are about football and only football. And the revenue it generates, of course. Which means that Oklahoma, with it’s brand of Sooners football, is in a slightly better position than Kansas, but the prized jewel in all this, of course, is the University of Texas. Ever’thing’s bigger in Texas. Especially, and most importantly, television markets.

According to the Television Bureau of Advertising, Texas has four TV markets in the top 50, with two in the top 10 – Dallas (#5) and Houston (#10). With all those eyes watching the Texas Longhorns football games, Texas is the biggest prima donna in this little dance, so if Texas stays in the Big 12, the conference can make a go of it with 10 teams. Then, down the road, they can raid some other, weaker conference, of course. Or so the thinking goes. According to Sports Illustrated, the Texas Board of Regents meets this Tuesday, so the remaining nine Big 12 teams, including Oklahoma, will just have to wait.

But you didn’t seriously think the SEC was going to sit on the sidelines for this piracy party, did you? According to Orangebloods.com, which has been the go-to source on what they have cleverly dubbed “The Big 12 Missile Crisis,” Texas A & M doesn’t want to join the Pac-10, but is considering a move to the SEC. Which means that Texas might spurn the Pac-10’s advances and go to the SEC, too, because word is that Texas and Texas A & M want to keep their long-standing traditional rivalry in tact.

For the same reason, part of me almost hopes that Oklahoma follows Nebraska to the Big 10. What can I say? I’m a sucker for traditional rivalries. USC v. Notre Dame, Bama v. Auburn, Michigan v. Ohio State, Texas v. Texas A & M, and Oklahoma v. Nebraska. These games make college football vibrate with excitement.

Meanwhile, the Pac-10 still has their eyes on both Oklahoma teams, Texas and Texas Tech. Which would give them 15 teams. They likely want 16 total, so that they can have two divisions of eight teams each. Word via NBC’s College Football Talk is that if Texas A&M doesn’t accept the invite to the Pac-10, but Texas does, the Pac-10 may make overtures to Kansas. Of course, the state of Kansas doesn’t have much to offer in the way of television markets, but that would be a gem of a basketball program to add.

But if it is more television revenue the Pac-10 is after (and why would we assume otherwise), and if the Aggies tell them to take a hike, they may offer that last spot to Utah, and not Kansas, per the Deseret News. Salt Lake City has the No. 31 television market, according to TVB and the Utes, despite not playing in a BCS conference, have a solid football program.

Lost in all of this is just how the Big 12, one of the best football conferences in the country and one of the best basketball conferences (both men’s and women’s) in the country, became such an easy target. It hasn’t been reported and the inside dope on that would be some very welcome reporting. So, for now the Big 12 exists and they hope to exist in some form when the dust settles, but they may not be able to. And until Texas and A&M make up their minds, they just have to wait and pray.

In the meantime, it is becoming more and more apparent that the SEC, the Big 10 and the PAC-10 are determined to become “power conferences” before this is all over and,  if they cannot achieve that through further raids of the Big 12, surely they will turn their eyes elsewhere.

All of which leads me to believe that the Big East and the ACC should start making sweet, sweet love to each other if they don’t want to become the next 98 pound weakling on the beach. Or worse yet, like those dead on arrival Sea Monkeys.