Lindsay Lohan is dead to me!
I’ve tried to stay on her side. I’ve spent years standing in her corner. Through embarrassing scandal after embarrassing scandal, embarrassing hook up after embarrassing hook up, embarrassing movie after embarrassing movie, embarrassing record after embarrassing record. Just when I thought she was ready to pick up the pieces of her shattered career and glue them back together with a new role in the upcoming Linda Lovelace biopic, Lohan is breaking dishes again.
She’s in Cannes this week “promoting” Inferno, that Lovelace biopic, which would normally be a good thing, but it seems that the only thing she’s promoting is questionable behavior. And it didn’t start in Cannes. In the last week or so, she’s been hitting the clubs with gusto, coast to coast and abroad. She’s publicly brawled with Avril Lavigne in Los Angeles, thrown drinks at model Jessica Stam in New York City, pulled rank with a member of the UK girl group Girls Aloud in Cannes, and (also in Cannes) picked at stale leftovers (that would be Dominic Cooper) after his girlfriend — and Lohan’s former Mean Girls costar — Amanda Seyfried decided that she really isn’t that into him after all.
For years I’ve been rooting for this underdog, hoping for a career resurrection, but now I just want her to go away. She’s due in L.A. court today for allegedly violating the terms her DUI-related probation. The catch is that she’s lost her passport and is frantically trying to replace it and make it back to L.A. in time for her court date.
May the U.S. Embassy and the international flight system not work in her favor, and this particular chapter in the ongoing Lindsay Lohan chronicles end with her in hand cuffs, tossed into the clink, and out of our sights and out of our minds for a very long time.