Hedonism II launches its grossest promotion ever

Double thong, I say. Double thong!

In August, I’ll take my very first package vacation. My island-loving girlfriend found a deal she couldn’t pass up, so we’re heading to Jamaica for a week of swim-up bars and frozen margaritas. If these snobbish, misanthropic indie travelers are willing to buy into a package, it must be a good deal.

But at least it’s a real resort. And it’s not in Negril. I can’t even guess who still goes to Hedonism II and III, the “adults-only” resorts whose very name suggests hot tubs slick with splooge and bartenders with juicy cold sores.

Apparently, lots of dudes still go. Too many dudes, in fact. In an effort to attract more female guests, Hedonism II has announced its “Threesome is a Freesome” promotion, wherein three women are invited to cram into a bedroom built for two. From Travel Weekly’s deal section:

Hedonism is an Adult Only, 18 and older resort so only Double, Single Guaranteed or Single Share Occupancy is accepted. However, since Hedonism can tend to be slightly more male dominated and in an effort to bring more Female clientele to the resort, we have created the “Threesome Is A Freesome” promotion. This promotion, three females can stay in one room, for the price of two and can split the cost three ways. This promotion is applicable to any promotion available at the time of booking, in any room category with the exception of Suites at Hedo III. Applicable to Females only, not applicable to any combination of male/female…

You can be as free as you want to be, depending on your mood. For a quiet, private moment, slip off to a shaded hammock with a good book. Or shed your inhibitions, and join in the party on the nude beach. Just be yourself, or someone else entirely. Whatever makes you happy.

Only a suitcase full of Handi Wipes and Purell could make me happy there.

Hedonism Threesome Is A Freesome | Travel Weekly.