100 Reasons Why Sarah Palin Quit

The Young Turks already explained their theory on why Sarah Palin resigned as governor. In a nutshell, she needs to cash in the height of her celebrity. She can go around the country, talk on TV, take interviews, become a speaker at rallies – all this stuff pays big bucks. Why does she need money? She needs the money to pay for her ethics lawsuits (apparently half a million worth.) If she becomes a free agent, (as they say in the sports world) she can do whatever she wants for money.

She didn’t quit because she suddenly became self-aware of how crazy she is. This is God’s calling and only God is directing her now, and that makes us scared.

76. July 3 2009: Quit her job as the Governor of Alaska. Her actual explanation was out of this world and all you would expect from the Idiocracy Queen.

• The Young Turks: Sarah Palin Resigns, Cenk Play by Play

77. She’s simply a quitter, In January 2004, she quit her job as the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission Chairwoman out frustration.

Anchorage Daily News: Frustrated, Palin to quit oil panel job

78. Has no idea how the economy works. Probably best that he joins the private sector before she does anymore damage in Alaska.

• Wall Street Journal: Chill of Downturn Spreads North to Alaska

79. Even when she is briefed heavily on economic situations, she gets them wrong.

• Huffington Post: Palin Makes Her First Gaffe

80. During an interview with Katie Couric, Sarah Palin was unable to discuss or even name a Supreme Court case other then Roe V. Wade.

• Huffington Post: Latest Palin Gaffe, Supreme Court

81. Abused governmental power.

• Anchorage Daily News: The Benchflower Report

82. Despite claiming to be a “fiscal conservative” and openly mocking Obama’s tax plan, she herself increased government expenditure.

• The Washington Independent: The Reform Candidate?

83. In an act of defiance against President Obama, Palin rejects millions of federal funds, ironically meant for the education of special needs children.

• Anchorage Daily News: School officials turn to Legislature to save stimulus funds

84. Shortly after being named VP candidate for the Republican party, women staged a major protest in Anchorage. It shows how Palin can bring out the worst emotions in the best of people. In an Idiocracy, that’s what you need in a leader.

• Anchorage Daily News: Anti-Palin activists stage their own protest

85. Her husband and top aides were all held in contempt of court when they failed to testify.

• LA Times: Alaska Senate finds Sarah Palin’s husband, aides in contempt

86. Built a sports complex on land that the city didn’t own.

• Anchorage Daily News: Wasilla fought losing battle over land ownership

87. Palin was forced to reimburse Alaskans after using state funds to pay for family trips.

• MSNBC: Palin reimburses Alaska for 9 family trips

88. Even after she resigned as Governor of Alaska, she is facing a new set of ethics complaints.

• Washington Post: Palin Faces New Ethics Complaint Over Reimbursements

89. Sarah Palin is no fan of free press. She prefers, perhaps dictatorships?

• CanWest News: Palin attacks Obama and U.S. media

90. Palin can’t seem to understand her own positions, as she continually flip flops.

• US News: Sarah Palin’s Feminist Flip-Flop

91. Palin was so hated by McCain staffers that they told the press she didn’t know Africa was a continent and that she was unaware what countries were in NAFTA. Sometimes you just cant undo the damage.

• CBS News: Sarah Palin Was As Bad As We Thought

92. Used state allowance to fund nights spent at home.

• Washington Post: Palin Billed State for Nights Spent at Home

93. Sarah Palin addressed a secessionist group as Governor and they praised her during a meeting.

• YouTube: Sarah Palin and Alaskan Independence Party

94. First Dude was a longtime member of a secessionist group, but only during his early rebellious years, between ‘96-2002.

• ABC News: Todd Palin Longtime Former AIP Member

95. Can any other politician match this eduction?

• 1982: Attended Hawaii Pacific University spent one semester studying Business Administration.
• 1983: Attended North Idaho College enrolled in the General Studies program for two semesters.
• 1984 – 1985: Sarah Palin attended University of Idaho studying Broadcast Journalism.
• 1985: Attended Matanuska-Susitna College in Palmer Alaska
• 1986 – 1987: Three more semesters at the University of Idaho to earn a Journalism Degree
• Anchorage Daily News: Palin Education took her to five colleges

96. Spent $50,000 to remodel her Governor’s office.

• Boston Herald: Sarah Palin Spends 50G on Remodel

97. Palin’s children and family did not shy from the mass media spotlight, but when Palin’s children started to get attacked, her supporters took over. Some will say she quit because she didn’t want her family in the spotlight.

• TrueSlant Idiocracy Index: Meet the David Letterman Protesters

98. Four months into Obama’s presidency. she went on Fox News to say “I told you so, the U.S. is becoming socialist.” Remember, she majored in broadcast journalism. Maybe her future lies with Fox News?

• Crooks and Liars: Sarah Palin goes to New York, tells Hannity: Socialism, here we come

99. Warned Alaskans of “New World Order” and a government that wants to “control people.”

• CNN: Palin: Government wants to ‘control the people’

100. Hand picked by Rush Limbaugh as the next Republican figurehead. He calls her the most “articulate voice” of the Republican Party.

• Crooks and Liars: Limbaugh: Palin most “prominent and articulate voice” for conservatism

Watching closely after the announcement, we can already tell the next chapter in Idiocracy has just begun. We’ll continue to watch for the signs, but for humanities sake, let’s hope we can limit the Idiocracy to 19%.

Part 1: 100 Reasons We’ll Miss Sarah Palin
Part 2: 100 Reasons Sarah Palin Should Leave Politics
Part 3: 100 Reasons Why Palin is the Queen of Idiocracy
Part 4: 100 Reasons Why Sarah Palin Quit