100 Reasons We’ll Miss Sarah Palin
As we watch Keyboard Cat play off Sarah Palin, those of us here at the Idiocracy Index are a little sad to see our favourite Alaskan Governor (of all time) leave the national spotlight. Some feel she will be back, but after going through this list you have to wonder, why bother?
If Palin returns for a run at the Presidency in 2012 or 2016 and wins, I will open up our home here on Vancouver Island for true Idiocracy refugees.
1. Let’s begin by cleansing the thread of witchcraft shall we? Just like Palin did while running for governor in 2005.
- Guardian UK: Video shows Palin in anti-witchcraft prayer
2. “Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace…”
- Fyrebug.com: Putin Rears his head game
3. We’ll miss how hypocrisy just happened.
- Think Progress: Palin the Wealth Spreader
4. Where most politicians would normally discourage radical supporters from speaking out and giving their campaign a bad image, rather than condemning her radical supporters, Palin egged them on, if anything.
- Huffington Post Biden: Palin Must Condemn Supporters’ Hateful Obama Attacks
5. Like most Internet illiterate politicians, Sarah Palin tweeted for our comedic pleasure.
6. She uses a fake accent? You Betcha!
- Chicago Tribune: Sarah Palin’s accent explained
7. Installed a tanning bed into the Governors mansion.
8. In September of 2008, the Republican National Committee funded a shopping spree, during which little Piper Palin was bought an $790 handbag.
- Gawker.com -Little Piper Palin’s $790 Designer Handbag
9. After the election, she appeared in an fringe right-wing online documentary. Not the least loony place one could lash out on the media?
- Washington Post: Online, Sarah Palin Has Unkind Words for the Press
8. Supporting the “Bridge to Nowhere” before she didn’t support it.
- The New Republic: Did Palin Really Fight The “Bridge to Nowhere?”
10. Even better, making an agreement with a company to build the road, and them still building it even after the bridge deal was canceled. The now infamous “Road to Nowhere.”
- CNN via YouTube: CNN Report on the “Road to Nowhere”
11. During the ‘08 campaign, John McCain needed to hold her hand during high-profile interviews.
12. Tina Fey doesn’t want to play Sarah Palin anymore.
- Huffington Post: Tina Fey On Sarah Palin: “If She Wins…I’m Leaving Earth”
13. She injured the St. Louis Blues goalie, and cursed the team as they lost 8 of 10 games after her appearance.
14. Before whining about unfair media coverage, Sarah Palin bashed Hillary Clinton for whining about unfair media coverage.
- Huffington Post: ‘Whining’ About Media Coverage ‘Bothers Me’
15. Doesn’t pronounce the G’s at the end of her words.
- UPenn Language Log: Palin’s tactical g-lessness
16. After having becoming a teen mother, Bristol Palin spoke out against teen sex…
- Telegraph UK: Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol ‘against teen pregnancy’
17. …And became the worst spokeswoman for abstinence.
18. Is her priority her voters or her God? She could be having visions of Jesus’ return while in office?
19. We’ll miss how she scared random celebrities like Matt Damon into speaking out.
- AP via YouTube: Damon Condemns Palin
20. For some reason, she also flew from Texas to Alaska after her water broke.
- Celebrity Babies: Sarah Palin Welcomes Son
21. You forgot about the time she said Afghanistan was a “neighboring country” to America, didn’t you?
22. Her make-up artist was the highest paid staffer on the McCain campaign.
- Huffington Post: Palin’s Makeup Artist Is McCain’s Highest Paid Staffer
23. According to SNL staffers, she was difficult to work with.
- WWD Fashion: Palin v. Palin Fashion Scoops
24. She pardoned a Turkey while another was slaughtered.
- Crooks and Liars: Countdown: Sarah Palin’s Turkey Pardoning Fiasco
25. She wore a pro-Democratic Party scarf to a Republican Rally.
- Belfast Telegraph: Sarah Palin wears ‘Vote Democrat’ scarf at Republican rally
Part 1: 100 Reasons We’ll Miss Sarah Palin
Part 2: 100 Reasons Sarah Palin Should Leave Politics
Part 3: 100 Reasons Why Palin is the Queen of Idiocracy
Part 4: 100 Reasons Why Sarah Palin Quit

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