What your Facebook profile picture says about you
Is that you, Mary?
I was looking for a new friend on Facebook the other day and because she has both a common first and last name, there were hundreds of people to search through. Since almost no one lists their city or other affiliations anymore, many times all you have to go on to determine if you have the right “Mary Smith” is their picture.
As I scrolled through endless profiles and saw that more than half of them displayed pictures of babies, I realized that even more disturbing than the people who don’t even bother to upload a photo, thereby ending up with the default silhouette, are those who post a picture of their child instead of themselves.
To me, this says, “I have no identity other than that as someone’s parent.” It means, “The first thing that should come to your mind when you think of me is I have a child.” It could mean, “I don’t like the way I look, but my baby is so adorable so look at him.” It may mean, “Everything that I was before I was Bobby’s mother is no longer relevant. Forget the fact that I am a college graduate who once climbed Mount Everest and was vice president of my company, all you need to know about me now is that I have reproduced.”
Maybe some proud parents are trying to say, “Look how cute my kid is,” or perhaps, “Hey, I didn’t want to send out birth announcements so take a look at what I’ve been up to.”
But your profile picture is a bit like a modern day calling card. At the very least, it tells the world how you want to thought of, viewed as or think of yourself. Cosmopolitan magazine’s U.K. edition did a survey of Facebook pics and asked a shrink to interpret but about as close as he got to the kid-instead-of-me shot was people posing with their dog, cat, iguana or other pet. Apparently your type can be brooding. Another analysis identified 30 popular styles, ranging from “The Tourist Landmark Photo,” to “The Middle Finger Shot,” to “Me as a Baby.” As for the “This is My Baby” shot, it means, “this is the most important thing in my life.”
My current profile picture.
I get that. No one’s saying your kids aren’t important or even the mostest, bestest, superfinest thing that’s ever happened to you. But are they…you? Do you really want to your own sense of self completely subsumed? You may be a mother or a father, but is that all there is to you? So go change the photo and maybe you’ll find out how much easier it becomes to find yourself.
Meanwhile, I never did find my pal. Guess I’ll just wait for her to friend me. I should be easy to find; I still haven’t changed back my picture from that celebrity doppelganger thing that was going around so that’s me looking an awful lot like Brenda Starr.
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I love this! I think the same thing every time I see a baby profile pic. Especially when the status update is something that such a cute baby would never ever say!
BTW, what about people who post pictures of their dogs as their profile pic? It’s odd enough when a baby’s status update is incongruous with their cute little chubby checks, but when a dog says he’s on his way to Costco, that’s just weird.
In response to another comment. See in context »Thus the enduring value of a well-taken headshot. Maybe not for civilians, but anyone who works for himself needs one. The image I use here at T/S was taken by my partner, who is a professional photographer.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by bart brouwers, Hidde Boersma, Roelof de Vries, lewisdvorkin, Hilary Shenfeld and others. Hilary Shenfeld said: What your Facebook profile picture says about you. http://tinyurl.com/yc3qpxm [...]
Interesting – and opposite perspective – from my own. I actually don’t mind the baby profile pics, at least compared to the constant status updates about diapers, etc. And I can’t really judge people’s dog pics since my own profile is a random dog pic I found on the internet. I get really creeped out seeing my own face constantly. Maybe I can use that as an excuse for not posting more?
I don’t agree that your profile pic on Facebook is your ‘calling card’ to the world, unless you’re talking about a fan page, which is another thing entirely. People that I’m going to friend know me. They know what I look like. I’d much rather see some random, non-personal picture as someone’s profile pic than one of those awful faux-sexy pics or a party shot. Our culture is awash in enough narcissism and vanity as it as. If someone wants to put up a baby pic to represent them, I say knock yourself out.
Joseph, you’d really rather see some random profile pic than a photo — sexy or drunk as it may be — of your buddy? Hmmm. I am sensing interpersonal issues. Seek counseling immediately.(Kidding)
In response to another comment. See in context »If only it were as easy as counseling!
On the topic of sexy pics and the like, the dating site OK Cupid’s Trends blog has a must-read post about that: The Four Big Myths of Profile Pictures.
In response to another comment. See in context »Chances are if you’re searching and that blank photo comes up, it’s just because of the person’s privacy settings, and they do actually have a picture once you friend them.
That being said, if you feel the need to censor one picture of yourself from matching your name on the internet, I’d really, really like to see that picture.
But Paul, that’s my point. It’s hard for me to friend them when I don’t know which one they are and they all have the same name! Just one more reason, parents, to think about naming your kid something like Snookie or Shiloh or Moxie Crimefighter.
In response to another comment. See in context »Meanwhile, I’m still trying to find our T/S colleague Joseph on FB but I all I keep seeing is photos of dogs. Wonder if he’s the German Shepherd or the poodle.
Hilary, I totally agree with you. Putting a picture of your kid instead of you (which is not the same as posting a picture of you WITH your kid) is the modern equivalent of being Mrs. John Smith–as a woman, you have no other identity than that of being John Smith’s wife, because he, of course, is the main event and your identity is inextricably linked with his.
As for not posting a picture at all, I wonder why they signed up for an account in the first place? It is called FACEbook, after all.