The Latin American Poker Tour (LAPT) was held earlier this month in Lima Peru at the Atlantic City Casino in the beautiful district of Miraflores.

After four days of play, Team PokerStars Pro Jose “Nacho” Barbero became the first person to clinch two LAPT championships. He walked away (not really walked because he had to play a hell of a lot of games) with $250,000 in prize pool money. Viva la Nacho!

During the past year, I’ve covered a lot of big PokerStars tournaments at various locations all over the globe. But I have to say the LAPT was one of my favorites due to the style of play, the attitude of the fans and players, the chatter at the tables, the emotions when a big hand is won, etc..

Tournament poker is also about big personalities. At the LAPT, the personalities are even bigger. The South American culture brings a more flamboyant mix to the poker tables that adds another layer of entertainment to the game than you usually see at tournaments in the U.S.

For example, the World Series of Poker (WSOP) is going on as we speak in Las Vegas. With North American players, you are guaranteed to find a sea of players who look a hell of a lot like this:

On the North American poker circuit, it’s largely a sea of clones in the gray hoodies and sunglasses who play at the tables and look a lot like the Unabomber. But at the LAPT there is more of a sense of flair and style; not to mention individual personalities that shines through the stacked colored chips.

Sure you get guys wearing hoodies, but they seem to pull it off better–looking like a part of Che’s rebel forces:

Some players took the rebel-force-look even further and adopted a poker playing persona that resembled one leading a small revolution in Bolivia. Viva la Poker!

Hoodie-wearing also had a unique twist at the LAPT. Like this player from Costa Rica as an example; the hoodie accessory looks more like he’s ready for a trek in the rainforest rather than a flip of the river card. Stylish!

And of course you get loads guys in sunglasses. The unique South American style can easily incorporate the poker visor and sunglasses all in one look–and make it work.

Maybe its all about having style and flair? Some LAPT players could players pull of the poker playing sunglasses-look and come across looking like a cool Latin pop star.

One of my favorite looks at the LAPT came from this Argentinean player. With a constant huge stack of chips in front of him, he made his way up the tournament ladder while draped in the flag of Argentina.

With a flag signed by all his friends for good luck, he looked like the Superman of Argentina.

“What’s that written on his flag?” I asked his friend about a particular signature written in Spanish that read “la uva”.
“It means grape,” he explained. “It’s something very easy to squash. (Pause.) “It’s ironic.”

Though held in Lima Peru, the LAPT still attracted players from all over the world. The player with the best look was the sole entrant from Russia. He spent the entire tournament wearing a T-shirt with Vladimir Putin blazoned on the front:

But what really made me really fall in love with this guy was his choice of horse and cat figurines that he put on top of cards for good luck during every hand.

“Why did you switch from the cat to the horse?” I asked.
“The horse wasn’t working so well,” was his deadpan reply.

Of course, there was one face on the scene new to the LAPT. Yes, I ripped up the tables in Lima as I made my way to a 2nd place finish in the LAPT media tournament with my sly Texas Hold ‘Em proclivities. (And no, I didn’t see Joran van der Sloot at my table!)

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And the enthusiastic LAPT fans simply loved it. (If you truly believe this is a shot of them watching me play poker.)

All in all the LAPT is something to truly experience for any fan of the poker circuit. Grab a Pisco Sour and chow down on Ceviche and let the chips stack up.

When it comes to selling magazine newsstand copies, it looks like a blond, all-American victim sells way more copies of People magazine than a recent dark haired, Latino victim.

Joran van der Sloot may or may not be responsible for the disappearance of Natalee Holloway in Aruba. But when it comes to purchasing a copy of People magazine at the supermarket checkout stand, the esteemed publication has firmly decided the blond American is the ticket (note huge cover photo), rather than ethnic Latino woman (note very small photo in the corner).

Just a little rule of thumb to remember when selling magazine copies: if you are going to be a crime victim, make sure you are blond and all-American if you want to grace the cover of magazines.

Thanks People!

So I arrived in Lima Peru for my moonlighting job as a poker journalist covering the Latin American Poker Tour (LAPT). The minute I got off the plane I heard on the news that Joran Van der Sloot, the suspect in the Natalee Holloway case was involved in the slaying of 21 year-old Stephany Flores of Lima.

The two met at the Atlantic City Casino–where the LAPT was being held–and were captured together on security video. This was mere hours before I headed to the casino.

I asked the guy in charge of LAPT registration if Van der Sloot was registered as a player in the tournament. He said there was no record–Van der Sloot was merely a “railbird” as they say in poker slang–standing elbow-to-elbow with the other spectators.

The Hotel TAC in Miraflores, where the murder took place, was an eerie sight–mere blocks from where I was staying.
Though the sign beamed OPEN, newspaper covered the windows preventing anyone from looking in.

The local Lima news brigade was camped outside the hotel trying to get comments from people, who were being questioned by the police, as they exited. Concerned hotel employees occasionally ducked their head outside the newspaper covered door–it’s not good for business to be known as the murder hotel.

“We’re trying to look for the police video,” informed a local reporter. Despite the fact that the news stated that Van der Sloot and Flores were noted going alone to his hotel room, the reporter mentioned, “They are looking for another guy who was with him who they saw on the hotel security video.” The reporter then proceeded to try and get a comment from a scared, tearful woman vacating the premises, while the police coroner also brushed them aside.

Just like in the States, the true victims of these sad, oversaturated news stories get lost in the sensationalistic headlines. It’s disturbing how one could go from amongst the railbirds as poker fan at one of the best tournaments in the world to sociopathic killer as quick as the flip of a river card.

This intrepid writer spent his Memorial Day weekend covering the 2010 Masturbate-a-thon put on by the Center for Sex and Culture for Asylum. Much like a Walk-a-thon, the purpose of the Masturbate-a-thon is for participants to get people to sponsor them per orgasm ($20 per money-shot), go for the longevity record, and promote different ways of thinking about sexuality. In case you’re wondering, the female record is 6 hours. (Much lube was involved.) Like dominating the hot dog eating competition, Japan also boosts the male record holder, who arrived a coach in striped matching yellow jumpsuits. Masanubu Sato popped out at an impressive 9 hours 58 seconds.

Though it was a bright, sunny Sunday afternoon, in a large dark room scattered with pillows a gathering of almost entirely naked men who were slapping the salami, adjustin’ the sundial, buffing the banana, etc….(you get the point )with expressions on their faces like they were in a bus waiting room.

The room was segregate with voyeurs in the bleachers and a special area for “performers”. At the start a nervous energy was afoot as complete strangers laid side-by-side spanking the monkey. Just watch so you don’t accidentally back into anything.

Another $20 raised by these two participants who finished in sync. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that George Lucas on the right? (He’s a Star Wars doppelganger with a huge nutsack.) Earlier I could have sworn I saw Andy Dick going for the gold.

When people have been masturbating a couple of hours you need a bit of food. I think I’ll back away from the chips and salsa and the rest of the shared finger food. This is particularly not advisable after the ejaculation distance competition. (Both male and female.)

In the Masturbation-a-thon raised roughly around $10,000 for the Center for Sex and Culture as over 250 people passed through the doors.

As Woody Allen said, “Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love.”

See the entire masturbation-a-thon photo story at Asylum.