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Apr. 6 2010 - 2:24 pm | 112 views | 0 recommendations | 1 comment

California bill wants caffeine out of their booze

What everyone loves is a very awake, agitated drunk. The combative mix of Red Bull and vodka has always helped in that arena. Who doesn’t love the incoherent thinking of a drunk mixed with the aggressive, paranoid behavior of someone who has had too much coffee?

According to the SF Gate: The legislation by Assemblyman Jim Beall, D-San Jose, is aimed specifically at curbing the production of malt beverages that include stimulants, which have become increasingly popular with college students and other young drinkers.

Budweiser is already planning to roll out out BE beer which contains caffeine, guarana and ginsing. Now, those who choose to get drunk on beer can now do it wide awake while experiencing caffeine-induced heart palpitations. Isn’t it our American right to get f-ed up and stay awake through the whole process. I’ve often gone home from a club long after being fully coherent, but now “The Man” wants to take away all my fun. Why can’t I be in the middle of a blackout and still enjoy the fun of babbling utter nonsense?

Michael Scippa, a spokesman with the Marin Institute, an alcohol industry watchdog group, said the drinks have only become more dangerous since companies began adding stimulants such as caffeine and guarana.

Scippa noted that many of these products come in 23-ounce cans that contain the equivalent of five to eight cups of coffee, are 12 percent alcohol and are sold for $1.99. A regular energy drink, by contrast, can cost $2.99, he said.

All I wonder is if they could add more addictive vices into one beverage can. If they could only include nicotine, heroin, and prostitutes then they would have the triple-crown of addiction beverages.

Read more at Huffington Post.


1 Total Comment
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  1. collapse expand

    Stay up and get drunk all over again!

    That’s the fictional Buzz Beer’s motto. Hope Drew Carey gets some royalties if this really takes off.

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    About Me

    I am the author of six books including, The American Dream, Republican Like Me, and National Lampoon's Road Trip USA.

    My writing has appeared in such places as Esquire, Huffington Post, Penthouse, Salon, and Maxim.

    I've appeared on The Howard Stern Show, Last Call With Carson Daly, as well as the Edinburgh, Melbourne, and Montreal Comedy Festivals.

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