Scientologists Go To Save Haiti From the Forces of Xenu

The most curious thing about the 50 Scientologists who wore matching yellow volunteer shirts and were sent to Haiti: what’s their angle? Surely the people of Haiti wont be able to buy their books or sign up for their expensive courses. Was it to create a Scientology strong-hold during the rebuilding of Haiti?

A leaked Scientology email that turned up on Gawker reads:

One big thing that is happening now is Haiti. We’re going there with our Global Pioneers team to deliver seminars to over 1,500 people. We going for 1,500 hours of auditing in one week and hopfeully, that many starts. More incredible news.

What a perfect opportunity for Scientology–they could basically claim Haiti as their own and create a future Scientology island. Take that Pat Robertson; put that in your e-meter and smoke it

So how did it go for the Scientologists once they got to Haiti. According to a firsthand witness:

They were completely unprepared for going to a third world country, let alone a disaster zone. One girl was in designer cowboy boots. I asked her if she’d brought any sturdier footwear.

“Oh no, these’ll be fine.”

I asked another guy what he’d packed and he said he hadn’t bothered to bring soap or toilet paper or food, but that he’d just “buy whatever I need at Port-au-Prince airport.” I couldn’t break it to him……

They brought the weirdness of touch healing into a very superstitious society. They’d leave the tent and come into the general hospital downtown, and try healing people. One of the doctors and one of the nurses told me that the wounded started coming to them to tell them they didn’t want to be treated by the people in the yellow shirts.