Life in Mumbai Is Hard, Until It’s Not

When you move to a new city, people constantly ask you what you think of it. You need a line, a quick response that works for both locals and foreigners that can be communicated in person or via twitter. It should honestly encapsulate how you feel but not terribly offend those who call this foreign land “home.”

When I lived in Burma, one of the world’s least developed and most repressive countries, my line was, “Life is fascinating.” My comment quickly conveyed that various aspects of living under a military dictatorship were a bit shocking, without making a political statement that, depending on whom I was speaking to, could be problematic.

In Los Angeles, my response was, “The weather’s beautiful.” Again, it was honest, and a tad more diplomatic than ranting about the lack of good bagels or decent pizza or how the Los Angeles Times just does not compare to the New York Times.

In Mumbai, my answer is, “It’s a hard city.” I did not come up with this brilliant response myself. I hear expats and even some locals describe Mumbai as a hard place to live over and over.

It’s hard to go anywhere without getting stuck in endless traffic and arriving with your ears ringing from all the honking. It’s hard to walk down the streets without noticing the litter, falling in an open gutter, stepping on dog (or the occasional human) feces or being hit by an auto rickshaw speeding along. The drivers see you walking but rather than slow down or move back into their lane, they honk and assume you will jump out of the way.

While it’s easy to find tasty snacks and curries, it’s hard to find food not deep fried or swimming in oil.  It’s hard to find a clean public park where you can relax on the grass. (If anyone has found healthy food or a nice park in Mumbai, please let me know: hingber@gmail.com)

It is hard, to the point of tear-your-hair-out frustrating, to get almost anything done here. Internet service, a sim card for your mobile, an apartment, a visa extension, a WiFi card — anything a Westerner moving to India might consider essential takes tremendous effort to obtain. You need copies — if not the original — of your passport, visa, lease, New York driver’s license, employment contract, reference letters, the list goes on… Just when you think you have given all the documents they could ever require, they come up with a new form that is suddenly essential.

I applied for an “expat” bank account when I arrived. The bank official took my various types of identification, filled out what seemed like 12 forms and then asked me to sign my name.

I signed, like normal, but it apparently wasn’t good enough. The man compared the signature on my form with that on my passport.

“Your signature is wrong,” he said to me.

I had not known such a thing was possible. Apparently, the loop in my “I” for Ingber looked too big.

I tried reasoning with the man. I have just given you 93 forms of identification, I said. You know it is me. I signed this in front of you.

Sorry, he said, the signature is wrong.

As he ripped up the bank forms, I grabbed a scrap piece of paper, studied my passport and practiced signing my name over and over.

I finally got my signature “right.” We redid the forms, and I left being promised that I would have a bank account.

I called a few days later to check on its status, and the officer informed me that he suddenly needed my Social Security card. I don’t have one, I explained. I lost it years ago, and I have never needed it in the States.

Sorry, he said, we must have your Social Security card.

But Social Security cards are for Americans, I argued. Indians don’t even have them.

Eventually, the officer agreed to let me provide “proof” another way. I found on my computer a PDF of an old FAFSA form that I had filled out with my Social Security number. The PDF looked official. I emailed it to the bank, and it passed the “proof” test.

I have only lived in Mumbai for a month, and I do think life here gets easier. Partly because you eventually have your bank account and mobile set up (I have given up hoping for a landline), and partly because you adapt and find new ways to enjoy a city.

I will soon give up looking for my Prospect Park and instead relish a sunset on Marine Drive with a view of the Mumbai skyline and peaceful Arabian Sea. Then, life here will be more than just hard, it will be home.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/Hanna_India
Email: hingber@gmail.com
Hanna’s additional work from India