Worth more than any friend's life.

Trading baseball cards was big when I was kid. It was the early ’90s and only the spoiled rich kids had video games, so the rest of us played wiffle ball and bartered cardboard (and hustled invitations for playdates with the kids who had video games).

But it was a unique baseball card market. There were essentially three big rules —

1. Ken Griffey Jr. is worth more than everybody.

2. Cards with Yankees, any Yankees — even Matt Nokes — are worth more than all non-Griffey cards.

3. The Griffey rookie card is more valuable than the T206 Honus Wagner. If you find out someone has one, kill him immediately. Hide the body. Make an excuse to get into his house and take that card. Figure out the rest later.

There were so many things to love about Griffey.

1. His backwards cap. At once, both totally badass and legitimately laid back. He made it cool before douchebags made it their own.

2. Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball for Super Nintendo. If you’ve never played it, you’re clearly incomplete as a person.

3. That time he was on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

4. His swing. Perhaps the single most perfect swing in baseball history. To this day, video of early Ken Griffey Jr. home runs make the imprisoned elderly cry tears of joy. It makes forest fires retreat and injured doves suddenly soar like eagles.

Look at that. It’s perfection.

So long to baseball’s greatest star.

Has more fans than all of the House's representatives, combined. (Image by Getty Images via @daylife)

Remember President Obama’s inauguration?

Legions of supporters descended upon D.C. to welcome America’s most popular person (other than Clooney, people love that guy) to the nation’s top office. Now there’s an oil leak, a Tea Party, and something called “Arizona.”

But Washington is the kind of town that needs a popular person to rally around. For like a fortnight it was Scott Brown. It was Agent 0 a few years ago — before the injuries and “gun in the locker room” thing. At one point, D.C. even loved Malia (before she went all “tween” on us).

Now it’s Stephen Strasburg’s turn. The lanky 21-year-old multimillionaire with a high-9o’s fastball hasn’t even arrived in Washington yet, and he’s already it’s most valuable commodity. The cheapest tickets to the Nationals’ June 4 game against the Cincinnati Reds — which may or may not be Strasburg’s first Major League start — are selling at four times the norm on StubHub (almost $40 right now). That price will surely increase if and when the Nationals announce that game as Strasburg’s debut.

And then there’s his baseball card. The highest bid so far for the 2010 Bowman Chrome Superfactor Stephen Strasburg 1/1, is $17,300 — with over three days left for bidding.

Not bad for someone who has thrown less than 50 innings of professional baseball. None on a major league field.

[UPDATE 11:59AM] Not sure what happened, but the EBAY auction price is now down to $15,900. Perhaps there were some fake bids?

Image via Wikipedia

Drugs. Testosterone. Glamor.

Rock and Roll? No.

The after-party at the World’s Strongest Man Competition? No.

Bicycling.

Oh, Floyd Landis.

Felled for impropriety.

Drugs for a sport only the French could love.

Really?

But pretty boy Floyd won’t take the fall alone.

He’s taking an axe to the biggest tree in the forest.

Many have tried before.

But those were french axes. Their thin flimsy heads capable only of felling grape vines and film exposed to unique, depressing, light.

Here’s the thing.

We’ve seen this before.

Another famous athlete undid by his own undoings.

José Canseco.

He admitted using steroids.

Then he pointed at others.

McGwire. We laughed. Palmeiro. “C’mon dude, no way,” we said.

Álex Rodriguez. “That’s crazy talk.”

But Canseco, like Flandis. Was desperate and lacking tangible capital.

Except for the capital of valuable secrets.

I believe Floyd Landis like I believe José Canseco.

Obviously wants to be a New Yorker (Image via Wikipedia)

Look, LeBron, I know how insensitive all this hoopla over getting you to the Knicks might seem. I mean, you just suffered a pretty humiliating defeat, and an entire city is rejoicing….in the name of wooing you. I know it seems counter-intuitive. If we were going to show you how great we are, why would we celebrate your defeat? No one ever said we’re not jerks.

But no one ever said that about Clevelanders, either.

Please come save the Knicks. I can’t speak for the whole of New York, but let me tell you what I — personally — can offer you.

Gandalf the Grey

First of all, you can have my pet rabbit. His name is Gandalf the Grey (pictured right). He’s litter trained and quite mischievous. I like him a lot, but seriously, you can have him.

Do you have a flatscreen? Well, if you need one more for your bathroom, you can have my girlfriend’s. Remote control included.

New York’s like Cleveland in that sometimes it gets quite cold. I wouldn’t want those famous tattooed biceps getting stiff. Take my space heater (value: $25 at time of purchase).

Let’s see. I’ve got a digital SLR camera. It’s a Pentax (kinda the Kia of digital SLRs), but it’s served me quite well. Actually, after a while, it’s functionality has begun to feel quite natural, almost like a second set of eyes. You can have that.

What do you drink your beer with? I’ve got these neat “New York Yankees” pint glasses. Not even Jay-Z can offer you those.

Yesterday in the mail I got a “10% off Bed, Bath & Beyond” coupon. When you move into your new Central Park West penthouse, you’ll probably want to hit up the B, B & B.

There’s not much else I personally can offer. Oh! I’ve been told I make a mean tuna casserole. Not bad for a pre-game meal, ey? Any time you want. Weekly. Daily even!

That’s all I can give. But New Yorkers, what else can we offer? Feel free to post below, put it in your own blog, take out commercials on local Cleveland television, or even let him know via flyover plane ads.

Image via Wikipedia

Calvin Borel is horse racing’s greatest icon in decades.

This is what Borel has done in four years:

• Won the $750,000 Stephen Foster Handicap at Churchill Downs on a 91-1 longshot, in June, 2006.

• Rode Street Sense to victory in the 2007 Kentucky Derby, and followed that up with a runner-up run in the Preakness.

• In July of 2007, Borel won six races on a single card at Churchill.

• He rode Rachel Alexandria to victory at the Kentucky Oaks last year.

• Then, the very next day, he steered Mine That Bird, a 50-1 horse, to victory at the Kentucky Derby.

• A couple of weeks later, he beat Mine That Bird at the Preakness, aboard Rachel Alexandria. He was the first jockey to win two legs of a triple crown on different horses.

• Yesterday, aboard Super Saver, Borel won the Kentucky Derby again. He is the first jockey to ever win three of four Kentucky Derbies.

What’s truly incredible about all that, is that it all came after Borel’s 39th birthday. He spent over twenty years as a slightly above mid-level jockey before that 91-1 victory in 2006. Now, he’s this generation’s most famous and prolific jockey. A living horse racing legend.

Some nominees to play Borel in the movie:

• Michael Cera — scrawny and will certainly want that “serious” role at some point

• Joe Pesci — the perfect match, but Hollywood will never let it happen

• Tobey Maguire — because people seemed to like Seabiscuit, for some unfathomable reason

• Elijah Wood — c’mon, you know it works. Borel kinda looks like Frodo

And the wildcard…..

• Michael Emerson — think about it, it just makes sense