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Now that True/Slant is winding down and will cease to exist and I go looking for another website where I can spew my half-hearted written agenda, I have arrived at the very important decision of using the umlauts in my name.

Fruzsina Eördögh

Fruzsina comes from the greek goddess “Euphrosyne” but in Communist countries, being named after a god is frowned upon, so the “eu” was chopped off.

Eördögh alludes to the Hungarian word for little devil- like a tricky imp, a demon faun of the lesser order. I will continue to pronouce Eördögh in the weird French way that I do, because I don’t want to listen to Americans attempt to roll their “r’s”.

The use of umlauts was a long time coming… and  friends have been pushing this  for a while, but I held strong for many years. I kept telling people I didn’t use them because I was lazy… too lazy to cut and paste, too lazy to convert my keyboard. Whatever excuse there was, I claimed it. I resisted the change. I’ve gone through multiple identity crises in my time, and my Hungarian identity was one of them (I’ve felt “not American enough” while also not being “Hungarian enough”). Maybe I am not as Hungarian as I would like, (my Hungarian spelling resembles an Elementary  student’s), but I am working on it.

But the embracing of the umlauts in my name is just part of a larger initiative to be more comfortable with who I am.  In the 4th or 5th year of my existence, I began telling people my name was Gina. It was easy for Americans to say. I kept “Gina” until  college, where I had a similar “f*ck it” realization I can only assume “Barry” Obama also went through. My name is Fruzsina Eördögh… not Gina. I am not a dime-a-dozen. That whole anglicized  “Phillips-Henderson” fluff was not meant to be either.

I’ve tried to incorporate the politeness and seriousness of the Midwestern demeanor, but I find my New York City self popping up more times than I’d like. Maybe it is time I embraced the brat.  The rise in brassiness can be attributed to Ke$ha (who stole my hairstyle), but at least my umlauts make me unique.   I’ve failed to quit smoking (a work in progress), like millions of Americans, but at least my umlauts make me a winner. I have yet to reign in my depression, and that again makes me like millions of Americans across the country. I will try some sort of part-time acting career (I’ve secretly wanted to be an actress all my life), but that again, makes me narcissistic like everyone else in Gen Y. When I think  of the future, I am hopeful, again making me like every cookie-cutter young person in the United States today. Except they don’t have umlauts.

Suck it, America… what ever it is!

After having watched the trailer above, I don’t know why Nintendo is wasting its time with crappy games like “Enjoy Your Massage!”. The music sounds like I am riding in an  elevator to hell, the point of view never zooms out so I can see the female giving the massages (just my hands), and the actual massage motion looks like I am scrubbing or cleaning something, not massaging. I hope young boys who buy this game don’t think this is what massages are like.

As for actual game-play, it’s just a memory game so that might be fun for someone? I call this game adolescent soft-core porn because of the rewarding pictures you get to see of your clientèle once you’ve successfully completed a massage (there is even a zoom feature, presumably to get a close-up shot of panties or cleavage)- and there is no other reason to have those reward photos except to stimulate arousal.

If I was an adolescent boy, I’d rather play any of the Dating Sim games at Newgrounds.com being as they are free… and sometimes show nudity.

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After having just watched HBO’s Friends of God last night, and recently reading Atheists  using blow dryers to de-baptize themselves, I’ve come to the conclusion that Atheists are doing it wrong.   On religious home-schooling:

“They are practicing child abuse in teaching that the world operates in ways other than it does,” he told the convention crowd. “And in my opinion, they are engaged in terrorism by weakening our nation and our understanding of science and things with which we can defend ourselves and progress. If it had not been for these fools we could have been at the stars 2,000 years ago.”

-Atheists use Blow-Dryers to De-Baptize

While everyone has the right to use hot button key words like “child abuse”,  ”terrorism”, or even “science”, these words cause religious folk to foam at the mouth, and when that happens, you know no healthy debate will take place. We live in a time when everyone is fearful and quick to hate.

I wrote in my “How to Talk to your Gaming Significant Other“, if someone is already in a hyped up aggressive state (Religion regarding Atheism), you shouldn’t approach that hyped-up person with more aggression. Kagin has every right to poke fun at religion, and has every right to use satire to make a point, but in this instance, maybe taking a less aggressive stance might do more good. What would this less aggressive stance be?

Advocating more religious education.

If the fundamentalist Christians are pushing for Creationism to be taught in public schools  (despite it violating the First Amendment), then the Atheists should be willing to compromise by pushing for more faith based studies – because, how can religious folk say no to more religious education?

If teaching a science-based view of the creation of the world is too difficult to get public support for,  getting public support for a World Religion class should be a cinch. The class can begin with a bible studies unit, which should please the religious. Children should learn  the New Testament was written at least 50 years after Christ, with some books coming hundreds of years after Christ. The canonization process of the Bible should be discussed, and this would be a good time to discuss all the stories of Jesus the church removed because they did not like them (for example: Jesus as a child making clay figurines and breathing them to life – the church thought this made Jesus look like a loner. In fact, all of the stories of Jesus as a child were removed, save one).

The Epic of Gilgamesh should be taught, particularly the Gilgamesh flood myth,  for its similarities with the Noah flood myth in the bible. It should be noted that Judo- Islam-Christianity (or as I like to call them, “the desert religions” created by men for men) has spread quickly due to its violent nature. Once the bible unit is complete, Judaism and Islam should be mentioned, but do not meet the requirements of  another religious viewpoint because they share the same god. Buddhism and Hinduism should be mentioned, as should all ancient religions like the Greek and Roman religions.

While I realize global religious studies are required in some universities,  a world religious class should be given as an alternative  to an evolution class. Religious students should have the right to choose between a global religious studies class or a class on evolution.

If getting a Global Religious Studies class is too complicated to accomplish, then inside the history unit, there should be a religious component. When students study the Greek, Roman and Egyptian empires (later the Frank and Nordic Empires), there should be a religious component. When students learn about the colonization of South America, they should learn about the Mayans, Incan, etc. When students learn about the great silk road through China, they should learn about Confucius. When students are taught about Christopher Columbus and Plymouth Rock, there should be a unit on the Native American religion.

Atheists will not be able to dispel the notion of God from our collective minds for a long long time (Religion has dominated human minds for thousands of years) – so Atheists should instead be pushing for more tolerance of various different viewpoints, of various different religions. Because that is the real problem Athiests have with the Religious. The religious fundamentals lack critical thinking skills, are narrow minded, possess various prejudices in spades, don’t care about love or this planet, and cannot even defend why they are part of the faith they are in – its like they are indoctrinated, much like a cult.

Hopefully teaching the religious about other religions will make them a more tolerant people, a people who can defend their own religion, and are more like that Jesus fellow they admire so much.

Edit: A TED video featuring Dan Dennett has come to my attention.  Philosopher Dennett advocates a similar educational initiative, without my facetiousness and New York City rudeness.

I see ads on College Humor, Hulu, and Huffington Post, and people talking about Isaiah Mustafa (the actor who plays the Old Spice Guy) on Digg, Reddit and  Twitter.  In case you’ve been living without a TV or internet since February, here is the link to the first Old Spice ad featuring Mr. Mustafa (that aired during the Super Bowl), and I’ve embedded the brand new commercial below. Please watch both commercials before continuing.

Each video has an insanely high view count for a commercial.  The original ad has over 13 million hits, and the newest commercial has over 6 million hits… in just two weeks. The commercials are fast-paced, outlandish, and center around a gorgeous man with a soothing baritone sounding off catchphrases left and right. The phrase “I’m on a horse” has become  popular, reminiscent of “I’m on a boat” . The Old Spice Guy even talks about baking cakes, an allusion to the internet meme perhaps?

These commercials don’t just harness phrases and ideas from the internet – Old Spice creates them.  Young males on and off the internet are saying  ”____  is NOW DIAMONDS” or “SWAN DIVE” or “I’M ON A HORSE”  but honestly, every single thing the Old Spice Guy says is worthy of being repeated again and again.

Not content with its current internet success, Old Spice took to Twitter on Tuesday (one day only),  fielding questions and making personalized videos for any interesting person that tweeted to him. Celebrities got personal videos (Alyssa Milano got 3, including flowers) as did strong internet personalities (like Kevin Rose) and the “average joe“.  Brennon Slattery at PC World wonders if this is the “most brilliant ad campaign ever”  and I say yes.

These Old Spice commercials appeal to a man’s sense of masculinity and coolness, like the Dos Equis “The Most Interesting Man in the World” ad campaign. Unlike the Dos Equis ad campaign and the key to its success, these Old Spice  commercials are also directed towards the ladies. Eric Baldwin, one of the creative directors behind the ad campaign, told the LA Times:

“This was more of an acknowledgement that a lot of times, it’s the girlfriend or significant others that are doing the purchasing. So we thought a dual message would be effective.”

via LA Times “Old Spice Talks to the Ladies, Man“

I can’t be a warm-blooded woman and not be in love with the fantasy of the Old Spice Guy. I also appreciate these commercials for their satire and the sexy eye-candy just for ladies (no bikini clad women in these commercials, unlike Axe).  It’s not just women though- I have heard my male friends say repeatedly that they’d go gay for the Old Spice Guy.

These Old Spice commercials have a level of honesty unheard of: the Old Spice Guy knows the female viewer’s boyfriend can never be as good as him, so the closest sexual experience the female viewer can get to the Old Spice Guy is to buy the product for her man, and smell him while they have sex. Gentlemen, are you comfortable knowing your lady is thinking of Mr. Mustafa while you bone?

The Old Spice Guy is well groomed, fit, beautiful,  romantic but also highly capable of many magical things, like riding a horse, catching fish, manning a boat, and  baking a cake after building a kitchen with his bare hands.  The Old Spice Guy exudes a charm and chivalry quite unheard of today, and he is an unobtainable fantasy. Women are used to looking at ads featuring hyper-sexualized and idealized females and then feeling bad about themselves, but this is a new phenomenon for men.

Besides the Old Spice Guy, the only other recent fantasy male fawned over by women was Edward (and Jacob) from the Twilight series.  There was an uproar among men when the movies came out and men just couldn’t contain their hatred towards the teenage fantasy (and I kind of agree?) – a real man isn’t like that, they said. No man can ever be like that,  they say, completely forgetting Edward was created for teenage girls… (what did you males fantasize about when you were 15, huh?)

While younger men have embraced The Old Spice Guy (perhaps because they are okay with being sexualized?), John Kass over at the Chicago Tribune recently wrote:

our modern American culture really doesn’t like manly men much these days.

Currently, the so-called ideal man is smooth and hairless and shaves in all the wrong places.

via Chicago’s Manly Man vs. America’s Manliest City Survey

According to Kass, a real man is overweight, has hair in all the wrong places (or is balding), and has attitude in spades – no trace or “whiff of self-consciousness”. A real man doesn’t care how repulsive he is to the opposite sex. (If a female wrote a column like this, she would be ridiculed)

Twitter user OhDoctah has some beef with the Old Spice Guy, and something tells me John Kass would like him: OhDoctah is overweight, opinionated and confident. OhDoctah is offended by the Old Spice Guy’s beauty and popularity, saying women prefer to sleep on duvets (chubby men), not bricks (men with nice abs). OhDoctah understands the popularity of the Old Spice Guy is based off sex appeal, and offers an alternative viewpoint.

Youtube user  dehudson1230 also hates the Old Spice Guy, and recently posted a video titled “I Hate the old Spice Guy, He’s making my life Hell”. In the video, Charles doesn’t appreciate his wife asking him to bake her a cake or fix her kitchen, he just wants to rest when he comes home from work. His wife interjects and says if he did sit-ups he would have nice abs too.

Is there something wrong with wanting a man that takes care of himself? I personally don’t want to marry some dude only to have him die 30 years before me because of some heart disease related to high cholesterol/lack of exercise/obesity, leaving me a lonely widow in my feeble old age. What is wrong with asking for the same standards society applies to women, to men?

I also don’t understand all this male outrage against female fantasies. Based off the popularity of the Old Spice Guy, you’d think men would intuitively understand this ad campaign is about sex with a fantasy, not a threat to masculinity.

If women can accept the Old Spice Guy as a fantasy and not as a mandate on how all men should look, why can’t men do the same?

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• Old Spice Guy Proposes To Lucky Lady On Behalf Of Her Boyfriend [Spicy] (jezebel.com)

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Janelle Monae is better than Lady Gaga? Blasphemy!

Universities are now preaching the greatness of Gaga, and most of America has never heard of Ms. Monae. Your claim is ludicrous, Fruzsi.

Ah – but read me out. If you were to compare both ladies on their craft, you will see that Janelle Monae is actually the more talented artist.

Dancing:

Lady Gaga cannot do the moon walk. Lady Gaga does poses really quickly, and maybe does a little hip wiggle in her videos. Meanwhile, Janelle Monae does feats of slight footwork- including moonwalking. Monae doesn’t have dancers and fancy choreography masking her inability to dance. Jezebel recently wrote a piece titled “Why Has Dancing Become So Boring in Pop Videos” and surprise, Janelle Monae was the single exception.

Singing:

Ms. Monae clearly has the superior voice. Lady Gaga sounds the same in every song, while Ms. Monae can change the tone of her voice and still sound wonderful. Case in point, the “Many Moons” short film embedded below showcases Ms. Monae’s various voice talents. Lady Gaga saying “Roma” does not count.

Songwriting/ Storytelling:

Do I really need to mention again how Lady Gaga’s music videos have nothing to do with her music? We can all agree Lady Gaga’s lyrics are vapid, perhaps intentionally. Though her rhymes may be cute (“bluffin’ with my muffin”), her content is crass and unoriginal.  You could say this is because Lady Gaga is a postmodernist, and it is up to the viewer/ listener to determine and create meaning in her work. I call Lady  Gaga’s post modernist craft lazy, because it is very easy to throw shit together in a music video and count on misinformation to create a story .  Sure, Lady Gaga’s interviews do come off as postmodern, with her “challenging gender roles”, but Janelle Monae challenges gender roles too and doesn’t indulge in vague, sex-drenched or shocking spectacle.

Janelle Monae builds whole worlds for her albums based off her android dreams. Janelle Monae sings about the future, class differences and forms of prejudice. What does Gaga do with her position of power, beside sing about sex and telephone reception?

Originality:

This category is tricky, because every artist these days borrows from someone else. So, being as I am somewhat of a “feminist” (hide your eyes, insecure men!), this category is going to focus on rise to fame and sex appeal. Lady Gaga is naked in every music video, and has some controversy only the religious right care about in every video. She is relatively pretty, blonde and white. Lady Gaga teaching kids it’s okay to be different? Hardly. Nancy Bauer recently wrote in an opinion piece titled “Lady Power” (choice bits below, the whole piece is worth reading):

Gaga wants us to understand her self-presentation as a kind of deconstruction of femininity, not to mention celebrity.

And since Gaga herself literally embodies the norms that she claims to be putting pressure on (she’s pretty, she’s thin, she’s well-proportioned), the message, even when it comes through, is not exactly stable.  It’s easy to construe Gaga as suggesting that frank self-objectification is a form of real power.

Lady Gaga idealizes this way of being in the world.  But real young women, who, as has been well documented, are pressured to make themselves into boy toys at younger and younger ages, feel torn.

Leave it to Simone de Beauvoir to take her lifelong partner Sartre to task on this very point… When it comes to her incredibly detailed descriptions of women’s lives, Beauvoir repeatedly stresses that our chances for happiness often turn on our capacity for canny self-objectification.  Women are — still — heavily rewarded for pleasing men.  When we make ourselves into what men want, we are more likely to get what we want, or at least thought we wanted.

Lady Gaga is more popular because her brand of sex is familiar. When I look at Lady Gaga, I know how I am supposed to look and behave to be a “boy toy” or a heavily jeweled “ornament“.  When comparing Lady Gaga to Janelle Monae,  Lady Gaga is just turning the same old tricks with a whole lot more sparkle (and the occasional cheesy fire effects).  Janelle Monae on the other hand, wears a suit, gives off a female Elvis Presley vibe and has a penis -type hairdo. Janelle Monae doesn’t give a shit about traditional sex appeal or sacrificing her artistic vision to “please men”.   Says Janelle Monae in an LA Times interview:

“It’s time to redefine what sexy can be, and what a woman can wear, how she wears her hair, what shoes she chooses,” said Monáe, whose signature pompadour has inspired some to compare her to Grace Jones. “I’m about uniting and helping people become comfortable with who they are. Because there are young girls out there right now going through identity crises.”

via Ann Power’s Janelle Monae in Wondaland

And that way of thinking is super sexy. (Full disclosure: I have a raging girl crush on Janelle Monae) As for why the public hasn’t caught on to Janelle Monae? I can only guess the American public (including music execs)  lack the intelligence to appreciate Ms Monae’s work.

To conclude:

Janelle Monae is a level 18 bard, while Lady Gaga just recently obtained level 7 ( “Hypnotize” and “Fascinate the undead” are her main skills). If I was drawing together my party to save the world (because bards are important, don’t believe what any one says), I would pick Janelle Monae over Lady Gaga any day.

fake denim leggings, yeah? Image by Idhren via Flickr

I came late to the 80’s revival legging fashion parade.

At first I couldn’t understand why stockings suddenly went out of style. I didn’t understand the bare skin between the ankle and the top of the foot. But then I saw that leggings can provide texture that no hose or stocking can.  Leggings are also thicker than stockings but not as thick as pants, so I slowly became receptive to their usefulness. The cuteness of tunics over leggings was not lost on me, and then one day, a friend wore fake denim leggings on a hot day and I became a fan.

My like of leggings had to do with the usefulness of the accessory, despite modern outfits for ladies these days being utterly useless when it comes to pockets. When I wear leggings I have a dilemma. If I were to wear the leggings right, I can’t wear a bottom or top that has pockets. (Or I just haven’t found the right clothing options?) When I bring this up to my other female friends, they look at me strangely, not understanding my need for pockets. Somewhere over the past couple of years, my female peers began hating pockets and I never got the memo.  Why dislike pockets?

Pockets are useful. You put things in pockets. Chapstick. Change. A hair tie. Tissues. Keys. Items easily lost in a large purse. If I wanted to run to the corner store or buy some alcohol, I don’t want to take a bag – a large accessory. I want some folds in my clothes that hold these items on me, for quick access.

With the comeback in leggings, fashion has also brought back the cross body purse,… understandably, because there are no pockets on women’s outfits. I have always loved cross body purses as a way to carry all my EQ. I believed these purses were “safer” until an earlier mugging in my neighborhood was made more complicated by the woman’s cross body bag, and she got beaten up for it. The police at the subsequent CAPS meeting explained how these types of bags make it harder for you to give your purse to the mugger, and harder for the muggers to snatch it. You can get strangled by your bag, and if the mugger gets frustrated, he can punch and kick you  while you are entangled in the straps. An unpleasant thought.

I hate carrying a purse though, and I know I am not alone in this. Sure, clothes without back pockets make my ass look better, but I already have my mate so am no longer advertising myself to the male population by wearing skin-tight pants.

Is there a way to make clothes for women that include pockets without appearing bulky?  Instead of rehashing old styles from the past 100 years, can we make something new and creative? Some kind of functional clothing, with pockets?

Image by crsan via Flickr

This evening, the Pussy Galore Group show including artists Katie Arford, Laura Bovinet, Lianna Faletto, Allysa Hallett, Brandon Howe, Andrea Jablonski, Matthew Jorgensen, Andrew Malvenda, Charlie Megna, Eric Oij, Kelly Reaves, Pat Rios, and Madelyn Strutz, opened at the 345 Gallery smack dab  in the center of the oh-so-trendy Wicker Park, Chicago.

Besides the proliferation of cat pictures and videos all over the internet, I thought I would take the time to remind everyone that the only reason why we like cats is because we all have toxoplasmosis in our brains (1 in 4 Americas has it, thank you very much).

Although not in tonight’s show, Ashley Lande has an excellent piece featuring a floating cat head emitting a prism of light above a prophet Muhammad figure (see the second illustration on the top left). Clearly, Ashley Lande has speculated on whether the prophet Muhammad was infected with toxoplasmosis (I say he was!).   Ashley Lande’s work, as described by Lost at E Minor, takes our “current obsession with neo-primitivism and mysticism [and] exposes the awkwardness that arises from the fetishization and appropriation of cultures.”

Audrey Erickson has also made cats a common subject in her paintings, as seen here. The painting on the very top screams “bird on the brain”, which is fitting when we humans have “cats on the brain”. I only hope this Pussy Galore Group Show is at least a little ironic, or embraces the science behind our obsession with cats.

And just for good measure, here is the latest cat meme sweeping the internet:

GTFO DDR!!!! Image via Wikipedia

I knew about the “Portal 2″ announcement and the newest Star Wars: The Old Republic trailer before E3, so I wasn’t expecting anything to come out of the convention that would shatter my hum-drum gaming existence.

But then I saw “Dance Central“.

I think it was love at first sight.

I tried to resist. Dance Central? Please, Fruzs, have some gaming class.  I can’t buy an Xbox and Kinect just for “Dance Central”. I am part of the “Glorious PC Gaming Master Race” – not some ninny scum “Dirty Console Gaming Peasant”. But then I remembered how much I love dancing.  And then I noticed this game actually teaches you different dance moves – moves I’ve never attempted before.

This isn’t DDR, where I jump around pressing buttons to the beat with my feet, and nothing happens with my upper body (DDR is no  ”glorified tap dancing“).  And I do like this idea of making “working out” a game. Sure, marathon running or sprinting is a great skill to have if I needed to worry about the impeding Apocalypse, but I’ll take my dancing in my home with weights over running on pavement every 6am any day.

I never got into the Wii Fit, with its balance board, or yoga  in general, because I much prefer high impact workouts, like jump roping, or dancing in my apartment with weights. Why not just play this game with some light 2 – 3 pound weights around your wrists?   (psst, “gamer girls”, if you post videos of yourself playing this game with weights come November, you must link here, or I will get very mad.)

I would to take this moment to challenge you,  Kristen from GameMeetsGirl, to a Dance  Off.

I’ve compiled a list of games the ladies would enjoy despite being unfamiliar with the whole video game genre. These are also the best of the cheapest, because when a game is less than $10, how can your girlfriend get turned off by the price?

In order of ascending difficulty:

1. Osmos, for $4.99

This game is the exact opposite of those “damn noisy shooters” you like to play and is perfect for the lady who has limited to no experience with video games. As the above video demonstrates, this game is as close to a yoga session for your brain as it gets. You have to be patient, flying through space in your quest to eat other orbs. The saying “Good things come to those who wait” is applicable in describing Osmos game play. You have to stay calm and move slowly, or risk colliding into a bigger orb that will eat you. Despite this games simplicity, the levels do get a bit harder as you progress through the game; there is some sort of challenge (I moved too fast and flew into the sun a couple of times).

You can play Osmos for as short increments of time as 5 minutes (a level), and feel satisfied.

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2. Blueberry Garden,  for $4.99:

If you’re looking to get out of seeing another bizarre European indie film, get your gal this game instead. Designed by a Swede, this beautiful and quirky game reminds me more of an interactive art piece than a video game. Don’t be fooled: there is a goal in this game, not made evident by the above trailer.  If Ebert played this game he would give up his silly notion that video games are not an art form. Bobbie Johnson, from the UK Guardian, described this game as ” a dainty piece of indie magic”: “I almost wanted to put it in a ribbon-wrapped box with a kitten and cry a little”.

Blueberry Garden is more fast paced than Osmos and Machinarium.

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3. Machinarium,  for $9.99:

Like Blueberry Garden, Machinarium is highly stylized:  the music and attention to detail remind me of a less-creepy-more-upbeat Tim Burton with a touch of vintage (and maybe a hint of German Expressionist film?). Machinarium is a slower paced puzzle and adventure game (you can stand still for 5 minutes and nothing will happen to your retro robot-  except him doing cute things) . Game play is just point and click, and if you are having trouble figuring out a level you get one hint. If the hint isn’t enough, you can play a mini-game off the top right of your screen to unlock a walk-through manual, so you are never stuck.

The storyline is whimsical, and unless your lady has a heart made of stone, she will be charmed by Machinarium.

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4. Audiosurf, for ONLY $2.50:

Does your girlfriend like music? Silly question, because she probably does!  The official website for Audiosurf  describes this  puzzle racer as “riding your own music”, and I am hard pressed to think of another way to describe this game. The track, speed, and puzzles change based on the  music  you chose.  If your girl has seen Guitar Hero or Rock Band played at a party, the race track should be somewhat familiar to her. Here is a link to Poker Face on Audiosurf, in case your gal wants to see what that is like.

If your lady has not played Rock Band or Guitar Hero, this will make her more comfortable doing so (fast scrolling button combinations).

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5. Sid Meier’s Pirates!,  for $7.50.

Sid Meier’s Pirates! is a  role- playing game, so is guaranteed to engage your girlfriend for at least 30 – 60 minutes. Ladies,  how can you not like the idea of being a handsome pirate seeking revenge? Despite this game being over 5 years old, it is still a shipload of fantastic fun. Replay value is high,  and the controls are easy to pick up and involve a lot of mouse clicking. Sid Meier’s Pirates incorporates  a variety of mini games (one is “dancing”: you try to get the prettiest governor’s daughter to fall in love with you) into a huge world map, and I’ve found fans of this game in unexpected people in unexpected age groups. If a 60 year old woman can enjoy this game, chances are your girlfriend will too (have her watch the above instructional video complete with a nice male accent).

This is an older game so your girlfriend’s graphics card should be able to handle it.

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6. City of Heroes bundle, for $13.40, plus monthly/yearly subscription fee. (More than $10, I know, but it is TWO games!)

If you’re really into World of Warcraft and your lady shows no signs of interest, or worse, annoyance, I recommend City of Heroes.  Maybe she would rather control the elements, fly above skyscrapers, or set bad guys on fire as a super sexy super hero, than play as a dopey elf in robes?

City of Heroes was the first super hero MMO when it came out 6 years ago, and everything from the environment to the music reflect that comic book mentality. Your girlfriend will love this game for 2 reasons: 1, CoH has won numerous awards for its character customization. You can customize anything from hair style and color, to tattoos, to shoulder armor, to knee high length boots, leather corsets and booty shorts, to the colors of your powers, glowing eyes, wings, capes, every single thing you can possibly think of, there are options for it. No two characters in this game can ever be alike. I used to spend at least an hour customizing my characters.    Reason #2: this game is team based. In order to accomplish good, hard missions, you need to work together with different types of characters.  Everyone has a role in your team, and in order for your team to survive you must work well together.  The CoH interface is also more intuitive than the World of Warcraft interface.

This is an older game so your girlfriend’s graphics card should be able to handle it.

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7. Braid, for $9.99

Chances are, your girlfriend says Super Mario Bros was her favorite game, and possibly the only game she’s ever played. Why not re-introduce her to the world of platformers once again, with Braid?   The plot is similar to Mario in that you believe you are trying to rescue a princess from a monster, but early on clues arise that she left you because of a mistake you committed. The “braid” is the vivid memory of her braid turning away from you after you hurt her.  The romantic undertones cannot be missed.

Braid not just a simple platformer: this game also has increasing difficult puzzles, and  philosophic undertones that some gamers  speculate are about about nuclear war (??). The music and backdrop of Braid are absolutely gorgeous (intentionally appearing as moving paintings), and should be an easy sell for your girl.

Diner Dash, or any other equivalent, is not on this list as those games albeit fun and popular with the ladies, tend to induce stress and decrease your chances of getting laid later.

Underwater city with art deco designs, in Bioshock. Image via Wikipedia

Tom Bissell, in a Salon interview promoting his new book “Extra Lives: Why Video Games Matter“, continues to make the case for video games as art. The whole interview is worth reading, but here are some choice tidbits:

Around 2006, 2007, a handful of games started coming out that, as someone who played games but didn’t think of them as like a viable artistic medium, made me think, “Wow things have gotten extremely compelling formally.” I mostly associated video game storytelling with unforgivable clumsiness, irredeemable incompetence, and suddenly I was finding the aesthetic and formal concerns I’d always associated with fiction: storytelling, form, the medium, character. That kind of shocked me.

Games that changed the paradigm, at least for me, were “Portal,” “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City,” and “BioShock.” All took their storytelling seriously in different ways, and brought to the table a relatively unusual level of sophistication when it came to video-game storytelling. They simply didn’t seem unnecessarily dumb in the way a lot of video-game storytelling games feel dumb.

Roger Ebert has famously argued (and recently restated in a blog post) that video games should not be considered art. What do you say to that?

I really admire Roger Ebert a lot, but on this issue he’s just wrong. I think he even kind of knows he’s wrong, and he’s kind of Custer in a battle that he knows he’s outnumbered on, but he’s actually asking the wrong question. The question is not, “Are video games art?” The question is, “Can artists express themselves through the video-game medium?” …

He’s kind of right in the sense that this isn’t going to stand up against impressionist painting, but it’s not supposed to. …

…It’d be like giving sex advice after having watched “Debbie Does Dallas,” but never having fucked anyone.

via Salon “Extra Lives”: Are Video Games the Next Art Form?

Interestingly, perhaps because neither of two are from an arts background, the point of “interactive art” was never mentioned in the interview. Perhaps Roger Ebert is unaware of the “interactive art” movement, and his ignorance of this type of artistic impression (despite beginning in the 20’s, catching steam in the 60’s, and exploding in the late 90’s)  is what keeps Ebert from understanding video games as art (that, and the fact that he doesn’t play any video games).

Interactive art is defined as a form of art that requires the viewers to participate in some way. Without the viewers participation or input,  the art piece would not function, and therefore not be. The art would be reduced to a monitor, sensors, plastic, metal, wood, what have you –  plain ol’ inanimate objects with no artistic merit.  Now consider video games. Without the video game player, directing the characters, unlocking story arcs, making choices, providing input, the video game would cease to be a work of art, and just be code, or plastic and metal – plain ol’ inanimate objects.

We already consider films as art, so why when video games combine the visual medium of film with  interactivity, are they not considered art? Sure, not every game is a work of art, just like how not every movie (Transformers?)  is a work of art. The art community already considers art that isn’t displayed in galleries or museums  ( see the “street art” movement) as “high art”, so why can’t we make the obvious leap to video games?