The Obligatory War on Christmas Season

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Well it’s that time of year again – time for Bill O’Reilly to start bemoaning the vast left-wing attempt to wage war against Christmas, and to ask why atheists hate the baby Jesus.

To me, nothing invokes the Christmas spirit better than war – the culture war, that is.  What would Advent be without some good ol’ fashioned us against them.  What would O’Reilly’s holiday ratings be without it is a better question, but that’s neither here nor there.

Now, I attend mass weekly at the local Catholic church.  I love Christmas, and the whole Advent season.  It’s a time of joy and family.  I love everything about it – the festivity, the lights, the presents, the church draped in purple, the nativity plays.  What I don’t like is all of that tainted with culture war nonsense.  And both sides are partially to blame.

For one, you can’t begrudge a population’s resistance to change.  For generations schools put on nativity plays and now they’re being denied the ability to do that.  There are elements of popular secular society which really do engage in their own attempts to subvert the meaning of Christmas.  But they’re really fairly minor players in the larger scheme.  Most people aren’t taking out ads on the side of buses. Most people just want the holiday season to be special for everyone – Christians, Jews, atheists, and all the rest.   That’s why you get “Happy Holidays” as opposed to just “Merry Christmas.”  It’s a charitable gesture, and in keeping with the sort of charity Christians ought to be practicing in their daily lives.

So I just don’t buy the idea that there is some vast conspiracy on the left to end Christmas as we know it.  I think the whole process of the separation of church and state could often be handled better, and I think that after hours and on their own dime, kids should be allowed to put on Christmas pageants at their schools.  There’s really no harm if it’s voluntary.  Christmas will remain a Christian celebration, but the season is big enough for everyone.

The irony to me is that the same sorts who are fighting the culture war on behalf of Christmas, are the sort of Christians who would have fit in quite well with the Puritans back when the Puritans themselves were attempting to put an end to that terrible Catholic/pagan festival.  These are the sorts of people who will suck the joy from things in order to supposedly save them, until they’re no longer recognizable.

On that note, I want to reproduce James Hanley’s excellent poem.  He received the poem in his inbox as an obvious attempt to spread the anti-war-on-Christmas side’s message, and added a few lines:

Twas the month before Christmas when all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying nor taking a stand.
…..How could it be that they all forsook prayer?
…..Could this possibly be true, or is it all just to scare?

See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas – no one could say.
…..All Christians who read this were disturbed and quite shaken,
…..Could their faith be so small that their God could be taken?

The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
…..Because if there’s one thing some Christians can’t stand,
…..It’s having the First Amendment be the law of the land.

It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a ‘ Holiday ‘.
…..Because we all know what our taxes are for,
…..to promote my religion, and denigrate yours.

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
…..Yet I’m still buying gifts for all those on my mind.
…..It’s only a matter of degree, and not one of kind

Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken and Fonda.
…..As we conservative Christians have so often related,
…..Free markets are evil, and must be regulated!

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas – was no where to be found.
…..(I have no witty comment, I’m bemused and astounded.
…..In the face of such nonsense I’m wholly confounded)

At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me..
…..But it’s not intimidation, you athiests, Muslims, and Jews,
…..If we insist “Merry Christmas” must be spoken by you.

Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
…..Because I can’t name any anti-Christmas acts by this crowd,
…..I’ll repeat all their names, and hope you are cowed

And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
…..Although this never happened in the U.S. of A.
…..It’s too good a lie, not to tell anyway.

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
…..Since I don’t have an argument to fill out this ballad,
…..please let me offer you a delicious word salad

So as you celebrate ‘Winter Break’ under your ‘Dream Tree’*
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
…..Because ‘winter’ is unchristian, though there’s snow on the ground.
…..And Starbuck is one of Satan’s names, I have found.

Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday
…..And who will object?  Why not one single citizen!
…..You won’t be arrested or thrown into prison!
…..Because no one at all cares which greeting you use,
…..You won’t even get a cross look from most Jews!
…..And if they reply “Happy Holidays,” as you so dread
…..Try turning the other cheek, just like Jesus said.