White People: If You’re Not Bill Maher, Please Shut Up About Race
Image by Getty Images via Daylife
Over a year into the first presidency by a black man in the history of the United States, we’ve learned one thing about race in America: Bill Maher is the only white man in the country that can make a quality racial joke without sounding racist. I don’t know how we got here, maybe white people who listen to Rush Limbaugh honestly don’t know the difference between edgy commentary and racism Limbaugh spews on a daily basis? Maybe conservative media outlets have convinced white people that talking about race respectfully means the terrorists win? Who knows?
But here we are, living at a time when white people open their mouth to say something “clever” about race, they end up sounding like John Mayer instead of an intelligent human being.
Maher’s show is back after hiatus. And once again, he’s seemingly the only one that can find the humor in having a black President (the same way he saw the humor in having a retarded President) without actually offending people with a basic sense of humor. In fact, he’s the only white person that can find the humor of having black people and white people live together (as they do here and no where else on Earth) without offending people. On last Friday’s show, one of Maher’s “new rules” was: “No black people in the Winter Olympics.” It was a funny bit. He’s not “pushing the envelope” with racial humor, he’s just not afraid of it.
Maher does such a great job, initially I thought more white people should come out of their shell and give it whirl. [Memo to SNL writers: aside from "The Rock Obama," your Obama sketches are stilted, flat, and make me worried that Fred Armisen is going to suffer a crippling identity crisis. Please hire the staff writers from the Chapelle show and get your act together.]
But after watching general white people (talking heads, journalists, celebrities, average people on the street) stumble through racial humor for a year, I now live in fear that some untalented white comedian (think: Dane Cook) will try to get on the trail Maher blazed and inadvertently start a full scale race war.
Of course, with great power comes great responsibility, Bill Maher. You can’t just sit in your plush, HBO studio and watch as white America mumbles incoherent fried chicken jokes in their sleep. So I’m calling you out, Mr. Maher. I’m asking you to teach what you have learned to the younger generation — as you are so fond of saying, America really is all about the children.
Your first assignment, should you choose to accept it, isn’t that far away. Just hop on I-5 and head south until you hit the campus of UC San Diego. You can’t miss it. It’s the school that has a noose hanging from its library door. That’s right, I said noose. Some UCSD student thought it was a good idea to hang a noose on the door to the school library.
Now, if a student at UC San Diego was guilty of a true act of racial hatred, I’d go myself. Instead, I’m asking Maher to go because according the perpetrator of the noose incident, this was a failure of comedy, not of racial tolerance:
The woman, who remains anonymous, claims that the act was an unfortunate and inadvertent mistake. She wrote:
“I found a small piece of rope on the ground earlier in the day [Tuesday, Feb. 23]. While I was hanging out with my friends a bit later, we tried jump-roping with it and making it into a lasso. My friend then took the rope and tied it into a noose. I innocently marveled at his ability to tie a noose, without thinking of any of its connotations or the current racial climate at UCSD … Three days later, on Friday morning, I found out that the noose had been found and construed as another racist act on campus. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed, and the first thing I did was call the campus police and confess. I was hoping to clarify that this was not an act of racism before the incident got a full reaction from the campus.”
Via The Huffington Post
If I had a dollar for every time I innocently lynched my jump-rope partners, I could probably afford to live in San Diego.
This wasn’t the first humor failure at UCSD. Earlier in February, a campus fraternity thought about a really clever way of honoring Black History Month:
A weekend “ghetto-themed” party thrown by fraternity students to mock Black History Month is being condemned by UC San Diego administrators.
The off-campus event, called the “ Compton Cookout,” urged all participants to wear chains, don cheap clothes and speak very loudly. “We will be serving 40’s, Kegs of Natty,” the invitation read.
Female participants were encouraged to be “ghetto chicks.”
The invite read: “For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks — Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes.”
via NBC — L.A.
See, if Bill Maher had a “ghetto-themed” cookout, it’d be funny. I don’t know how exactly, maybe Chris Rock would show up asking for “just one rib,” Maher would go as a predatory lender, Cornell West would come to drop some knowledge, and everybody would leave high on what we all assume is Maher’s top notch horticultural products? Somehow, he’d would make it work.
Maher is a professional. These white boys at UCSD don’t have his skill. They were trying to be racially humorous, but they were just racist — and there’s a huge difference, white America. Racially humorous makes me want to laugh (despite myself), racist makes me want to laugh (while committing multiple vigilante homicides).
Clearly, we need to educate white people on the difference between funny and offensive. I understand that the line must seem blurred to many white people — especially the ones that are themselves racist but think they are not because they don’t wear pointy hats. It must be hard for some of them to balance the desire to hide their personal racial animus with their desire to sound lively and interesting at cocktail parties.
So we need a professional humorist to get in there and start teaching white people how to be funny again. Bill Maher, you’re up. Strike now and cement your legacy. Don’t wait too long though, as Bill Clinton could tell you, being an honorary black man isn’t necessarily a lifetime distinction.
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You remind me of one Halloween not so long ago when my son-in-law answered the front door bell. Two or so white teenagers were standing there all smiles with their hands out. As I got closer I saw one had on a disheveled “Afro” wig and just regular clothes. My ire was peaked in an instant: “And what are you suppose to be?” I asked. He just stared at me agog, until my SIL managed to laugh off the moment: “Ah, it’s okay. I wore an Afro like that when I was a kid …” Geez. Still makes me boil.
not “agog” == aghast
In response to another comment. See in context »Bill Maher can get away with it because he makes fun of everybody. With him, there are no sacred cows and that’s why he’s so brilliant. He also calls everyone on their baloney, and doesn’t let “talking points” pass without a challenge.
I can’t even imagine what those kids at UCSD were thinking; stupidity abounds, even at schools where the attendees are supposed to be smart.
Uh-oh, do I have to dismantle my blog?
Haha. One reader sent me an email suggesting that I do a list of “white people that can make fun of black people.” Apparently leaving off the South Park guys was a critical error with my post.
In response to another comment. See in context »Good post Elie,
Bill Maher is one of my favorites, and I am very glad his back on. He makes everything funny; politics, religions, political-correctness, and race. But I also think he has an ability to make people laugh at themselves.
Yeah, but what about Maher’s insensitivity toward Muslim values with his phony fashion show of burqas?
You find that funny, kaffir? We make jihad on you! Fatwa time!
“But for the love of God, stop getting in the way of the younger generation that is eager to take their shot at making decisions (and profit)s. I know you old guys don’t see the point of Facebook, Twitter, and a totally revamped fall recruiting program — and that’s fine. Nobody is asking you to totally change your way of thinking; we wouldn’t want you to break a hip.”–sayeth Elie
Perhaps Gen-X Negroes should refrain from ageist rants against people who have successful careers instead of being an electronic gossip columnist?
Maybe we should limit allowing White people to talk about race just one day a week, for a test run. Instead of “Casual Fridays,” we could have “Racial Fridays.”
I will gladly agree to this – and relish the peace of such a day — if ALL human beings are held to that limit.
In response to another comment. See in context »[...] UPDATE: I should have pointed out that Sara’s post is in response to this. [...]
Confession #1: Read this, wanted to comment, read all the other comments and chickened out of commenting myself.
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Confession #2: Clicked on the link to Sara’s blog (shes a pro at 10 second sound bytes to entice folks to her blog:) – and read her article in response.
Confession #3: Braved commenting on her blog – and the reason – and then forced myself to brave commenting here by quoting my comment there:
There are so many things I would like to say and ask, but I won’t. Having said that I am angry: #1 at myself for fearing my words being misjudged, mangled and misconstrued on the internet for perpetuity; and #2 for a world climate where the redefining of words has left many of us so confused we hide behind our computers and anonymity or non-interaction for fear of being politically incorrect or judged as the “R” word or a million other “buzz” words of the moment or decade. For me, knowledge (especially of self) makes me feel safe – in a seemingly unsafe world; but how can I obtain knowledge or safety about things I cannot talk about – or am told I’m not allowed to talk about because of the color of my skin? Isn’t that statement – in and of itself – a “R” statement? Now I am examining why I felt safer adding my comment to the nice white girl’s page – instead of the nice black man’s page (who’s headline made me start this line of self-knowledge to begin with)? Am I “R” just because I even questioned myself about it; or only “R” because I wrote about it? I truly want to know — I truly want to understand and grow — I truly want a world where we are united by our commonality and celebrate our differences — I truly do not want to perpetuate “R” behaviors — I try to grow. But I’m a hyphenated-humanbeing — how does NOT speaking of such things allow an: over-weight; over-50;, over-bearing; middle-class; under-paid; married to the same man for over 30 years; member of no single religion-who still believes in g’od; raised-poor; college-educated-late-in-life; fiery-tempered-red-headed-skin-wrinkly and pigmented pale-pink and age-spotted, barren non-male-non-third-gendered individual who happens to have helped raise over 50 children of all colors — going to grow if she cant participate in honest open conversation with others who want to get beyhond the issue of skin and words.
I tried to put “human being” for my race on my passport — it wasn’t an option – and now I’m probably on some subversives list — not because of that – but because when they asked the question “sex” I tried to put “not enough” PS: now I will force myself to face my fears and copy this comment to the blog of just-plain-Elie. PPS: wonder if that is a Guiness Book of Records record for the most hyphens in two paragraphs
There are so many things I would like to say and ask, but I won’t. Having said that I am angry: #1 at myself for fearing my words being misjudged, mangled and misconstrued on the internet for perpetuity; and #2 for a world climate where the redefining of words has left many of us so confused we hide behind our computers and anonymity or non-interaction for fear of being politically incorrect or judged as the “R” word or a million other “buzz” words of the moment or decade. For me, knowledge (especially of self) makes me feel safe – in a seemingly unsafe world; but how can I obtain knowledge or safety about things I cannot talk about – or am told I’m not allowed to talk about because of the color of my skin? Isn’t that statement – in and of itself – a “R” statement? Now I am examining why I felt safer adding my comment to the nice white girl’s page – instead of the nice black man’s page (who’s headline made me start this line of self-knowledge to begin with)? Am I “R” just because I even questioned myself about it; or only “R” because I wrote about it? I truly want to know — I truly want to understand and grow — I truly want a world where we are united by our commonality and celebrate our differences — I truly do not want to perpetuate “R” behaviors — I try to grow. But I’m a hyphenated-humanbeing — how does NOT speaking of such things allow an: over-weight; over-50;, over-bearing; middle-class; under-paid; married to the same man for over 30 years; member of no single religion-who still believes in g’od; raised-poor; college-educated-late-in-life; fiery-tempered-red-headed-skin-wrinkly and pigmented pale-pink and age-spotted, barren non-male-non-third-gendered individual who happens to have helped raise over 50 children of all colors — going to grow if she cant participate in honest open conversation with others who want to get beyhond the issue of skin and words.
)
I tried to put “human being” for my race on my passport — it wasn’t an option – and now I’m probably on some subversives list — not because of that – but because when they asked the question “sex” I tried to put “not enough” PS: now I will force myself to face my fears and copy this comment to the blog of just-plain-Elie. PPS: wonder if that is a Guiness Book of Records record for the most hyphens in two paragraphs
To an extent, I agree with you MysTTTal, but you are dangerously approaching racism yourself here. Perhaps your rule should not be that white people cannot joke about race, but that people cannot joke about race. Yes, Maher and Rock are masters at their craft and can do it well. But when the average white play at home guy tries to joke, it comes off poorly. When black people try to joke, it is similarly offensive to white people. You dont get a pass just because you are black.
Take for instance this quip by a black man who is not a master comedian: “If I had a dollar for every time I innocently lynched my jump-rope partners, I could probably afford to live in San Diego.”
See there- white folks lynching their buddies. Ha ha. Of course, there was not lynching involved. NOBODY WAS LYNCHED. But I do like how you pointed to two discreet events in the same geographical area and automatically connected them. There is clearly a white conspiracy against black people at some random school I have never heard of. Hilarious.
Maybe we could continue our joking about noose incidents by discussing how professors about to be fired for plagairism miraculously find nooses on their door. But of course, the intelligent part of your article is that perhaps race should not be a joking matter unless you are actually funny. Neither you nor I fit that qualification.
[...] She critically assesses another blog post by Elie Mystal, who recently wrote too under the title of “White People: If You’re Not Bill Maher, Please Shut Up About Race.” Mystal has a long and interesting post on whites trying to speak on racial matters, and among his [...]
I HAVE A QUESTION: I’m white, 29 years old, pro choice, independent voter, have no problem with gay marriage, fiscal conservative, my ancestors didn’t come to the states until 1930s. They left Czecloslovakia so the Nazi’s would not slaughter them. Both grandfathers are WWII vets, my dad fought in Vietnam, I work 60 hours a week, I’m middle class, I have no kids and have not bought a house and won’t do either until I become financially secure to the level I want. Why then do I feel like everything is my fault? Slavery, civil rights, capitalism etc? I was responsible and did not buy a house because I wanted to work for a few years and gauge what I made first. How is the housing crisis my fault? Should I feel guilt because my parents are both great people who I still am close with? Because they raised me to be responsible? My father is the type of man who was eligible for partial disability due to his exposure to agent orange in Vietnam. When he went to the VA to register for benefits, he ended up leaving because as he said “I saw people there without arms, without legs, blind, their will equally broken.” This is a guy who had to leave his life to fight for something he didn’t believe in, was exposed to chemical agents for 13 months and still felt guilt because someone else had it worse. This is the home I was raised in. My ancestors didn’t own slaves, we were persecuted ourselves. So why then is any of this my fault? Why should I have to feel guilt for not supporting government take over? Why am I racist because I believe in protecting our borders? Why am I insane because I believe in limited government and individual freedom vs.collectivism? Why should I have my health care taken from me when I paid for a portion of it and it worked fine for me? Why should I have to have taxes raised to pay for people who are not responsible, and blame me for something I did not do to them? If you want to talk of bigotry or racism, I can tell you they both exist, and I can tell you I feel more as much a victim as the accusers. Forced silent for fear of attack for any observed double standard.
I conclude by asking: When will racism go away? What is your solution? Do you not see the hypocrisy in constantly distinguishing the achievements of minorities emphasized in the color of their skin, rather than the particular merit of their argument, athletic ability or accomplishment? Do you not realize that your generalization and blanket distinction of the color are themselves racist? You use the term “white” in the title of your article. Is the intended vagueness of this classification meant to include the people of the Czech Republic such as my ancestors who were slaughtered by the Nazis only to be enslaved by the Soviet Union for the next 50 years? The reply to these more often than not is some generalization that there is a substantial and modern portion of the white populous that are still backwards and very much racist, and my denial of such facts is ignorant. I’m not denying these facts! I’m not denying this as true! However, do you not see the hypocrisy of your argument? You are generalizing an entire race of people based off a dysfunctional portion. Could my reply back not be the absolute truth that there are minorities who are guilty of this same racial biased and backwards thinking? If I do that though somehow that makes me racist with such observations, but not you? Racism will never go away as long as you contradict your solution with the means in which action is taken to achieve such solution. How can you achieve racial equality, when direct reverse generalizations based on race are made by the accusers? How can we be blind and see ourselves as humans rather than colors, when society consistently mentions race as a talking point when discussing the achievements of a minority? How can we shape our future if we keep discussing the past? How can we end the hostility when there is such a deep embedded level of distrust and victimization from the minority community that it’s counter offensive is to generalize, judge and stereotype in return? All that leads to is the inclusion by association, entire masses of people who have nothing to do with racist rhetoric or bigotry by failing to emphasize the secular “bad apples” of each side.