A Black Person’s Guide Through the Recession

Image by Anders V via Flickr

I’ve received a lot of emails from young, professional African-Americans during this minor, temporary, economic apocalypse we’re all going through. For the most part, minorities are struggling through the same kinds of professional issues as everybody else. We are all truly in this economic muck together.

It’s tough all over, it’s just that it’s a little more tough to be a minority during the recession. That’s not breaking news. The New York Times ran an article last month explaining how minorities are taking the brunt of the recession. The other day I discussed how African-American attorneys are facing greater challenges getting work. You know what they say: “when white America catches a cold, black America catches the flu.”

The wrinkle here is that a lot of blacks under 40 haven’t really experienced what happens to minorities in America when the pie is shrinking. I mean, does anybody really think an American corporation gives a hell about “diversity initiatives” when it is fighting for survival? Are people really prepared for all of the subtle and petty incidences of professional prejudice to be memorialized in a pink slip?

I’ve compiled a few survival tips that represent the best practices I’ve gleaned from successful minority professionals and older people who have been through this sort of thing before. I can’t promise that these hints and tips will help you keep your job, but I’m fairly certain that following my guide will put you on solid ground when you file your employment discrimination lawsuit. (Just kidding white employers. The minorities you work with are not secretly planning on filing frivolous lawsuits against you. No, really relax … wait, what did you just call me?)

Let’s get into it after the jump.

Avoid Angry White People at All Costs

Some white men are feeling very sorry for themselves. You know, the ones that are so addled that they think that everything in their life would be perfect if only they were black, or Latino, or female. I’ve had white guys tell me they wished they were female, “so I could have a baby and take 18 weeks off of work during which they couldn’t fire me.” Really bro’? You’d rather squeeze a baseball out of your urethra that you then have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on and take care of for the rest of your life for the privilege of maybe getting another 18 paychecks? Sorry man, I’ll roll the dice with doing my job and see what happens.

The problem, I’ve come to understand, is that many white men have been told their whole lives that all they need to be successful is to work hard. Some white guys are simply not used to fact that sometimes factors beyond their control (like, say, a global financial meltdown) can stunt or delay career growth. In contrast, minorities — for the most part — grow up with the knowledge that they will have to overcome unfair hurdles not of their own making to achieve whatever it is they want to achieve. I was very, very angry when my parents finally clued me in to this reality. It took me quite a bit of time to work that out in my own head, and in the interim I wasn’t in a good place that inspired me to play nicely with others.

The economy is hurting people, all people, right now. Some white men want to blame various minority groups for that. When you meet one, give that guy a wide berth. They’ve got to find their own way back to “rational” and you don’t want to get caught in the crossfire.

Beat Back Stereotypes

A recession when all those racial stereotypes that make for funny jokes in a sitcom come back to bite minorities in the ass. Lazy, late, belligerent, untrustworthy, emotional, money grubbing, flamboyant, whatever horrible label is associated with your ethnic background, now is the time when those words have teeth. I haven’t eaten a fried chicken wing in public since Lehman Brothers collapsed. Now is the time when you have to proactively fight back against stereotypes.

I don’t just mean that you need to make doubly sure that you show up to work on time. Though, of course you should make doubly sure you show up to work on time. That is just common sense when the knives are out. I mean that when someone you work with throws one of those words at you, even in jest, don’t take it. Shoot them a cool “what do you mean by that” and immediately point them back to your record (which hopefully doesn’t include many instances of un-professionalism). If a colleague calls you lazy and you take his head off, the chances of that colleague saying it again — perhaps next time while the boss is around — are greatly reduced.

Does that mean you, as a minority, can’t get away with being five minutes late while maybe a white co-worker can skate by? It’s best to operate under that assumption. Is that fair? Who cares, you want to keep your job right? Worry about fair when the economy gets better.

Stop the Bitching

Never, ever complain to a co-worker of any race about anything work related during a recession. Ever. There is not one black person over 50 that I’ve spoken to that hasn’t said this. But surprisingly there seem to be many African-Americans under 30 who think that it is perfectly acceptable to go out after work and bitch about the boss just like everybody else. Kids these days.

Go out for your drink. Be affable and charismatic. But keep your mouth shut. And for the love of God, keep your pants/skirt on. Because the next morning, the boss just might take a stroll down to the office of the co-worker that most resembles his ethnicity. On the weekend, the boss might happen to be playing golf with that co-worker’s father. Happens all the time.

And you don’t know what they’ll be talking about, do you?

If you are lucky enough to have a boss that feels more ethnic familiarity with you than the rest of your co-workers, you should still keep your mouth shut, but … take better notes.

Bitch to your spouse, bitch to your mom, bitch to your colleagues at your own substantial risk.

Don’t Quit

That sounds more obvious than it is. When I say don’t quit, I mean: “You will suffer whatever indignities you are suffering until the recession is nothing more than somebody else’s book tour.” Nearly every day at Above the Law, I receive some freshly filed employment discrimination complaint. The allegations are always bad (and just allegations of course) but what is truly shocking to me is how many people say “therefore on X/X/09 I terminated my relationship with the company.”

Are these people insane? My boss could be forcing me to call myself Toby right now and I wouldn’t quit in the middle of this recession. Would that make me an Uncle Tom? I don’t know, but I know that Uncle Tom can afford the rent on his cabin.

You can’t quit right now because nobody is hiring. That goes for everybody. But I refer you back to the stereotypes discussion above. The only thing worse than being a “lazy black man” right now is being an “out-of-work lazy black man.” I’ve been unemployed (in a much better economy), I’ve sat through interviews trying to explain that I quit a job when the guy on the other side of the table thinks I just couldn’t hack it. Not fun times, my friends.

When the recession is over and you have a job lined up you can send in the most derisive resignation letter you can fathom. But right now, listen to your friend Marsellus Wallace: “That’s pride f******* with you. F*** pride.”

*****

That’s the basic course. If you are interested in masters lessons, send me an email. I’ve got great recession lessons on “dealing with your broke ass family/relations” and “keeping your girl after losing your job,” if you need further guidance.