What Is True/Slant?
275+ knowledgeable contributors.
Reporting and insight on news of the moment.
Follow them and join the news conversation.
 

Jun. 24 2009 - 6:14 pm | 18 views | 5 recommendations | 6 comments

Does Any Republican Want to Talk to Me About the Sanctity of Marriage Today?

sanfordhoriz

Governor Mark Sanford speaks at a news conference in Columbia, South Carolina on June 24 (Davis Turner/Getty)

Mark Sanford held a magnificent press conference today. You might have heard that he’s been crying in Argentina with his mistress about having to go home to his wife who kicked him to the curb weeks ago.

Some people are saying that Sanford did a great job today because he was honest. Others are talking about how it’s a great tragedy — Rush Limbaugh even said that Sanford “could have been our J.F.K.” Democrats are talking about not making political hay out of the situation, while furiously trying to find any kind of misappropriation of taxpayer dollars to turn his adultery into some kind of a crime. The only thing I’ve heard out of Obama today is that he is going to see the Pope (nice timing, sensei).

Well, I say screw it, let’s make some hay. An instance of immense hypocrisy only comes along once every couple of days in American political life, why waste this moment?

Can we not use the struggles of seemingly every man who wants the Republican nomination in 2012 as a powerful lesson about the sanctity of marriage? Because I am really, really sick of people thumping the Bible when gays want to get married, and then thumping a little bit on the side.

I’ll admit that I’m a Christmas and Easter Catholic, so my new testament knowledge is not what it should be. But I’m almost positive Jesus really doesn’t like hypocrites. I think he said that they were “bad.”

But the larger point is that maybe the Bible doesn’t have all the magic spells one needs in order to have a successful marriage? If the Bible doesn’t always work for those that believe in its teachings, isn’t it conceivable that the Bible might not be the absolute authority on who is “allowed” to get married? What horror can a gay person visit upon the institution of marriage that God fearing heterosexuals haven’t already explored?

Adultery is not a republican/democratic thing, it’s not a liberal/conservative thing, and it’s certainly not a christian/atheist thing. Clearly, there are lots of people who are capable of taking the sacrament of marriage and flushing it down the toilet. If God wanted everybody to respect marriage, He would have provided us with stronger pants by now.

So why can’t gays and lesbians get in on the act? Surely some of them will respect marriage better than your average American politician.

And why couldn’t Mark Sanford lead the charge for gay marriage in South Carolina. I heard him apologize, I heard him say that he “needed to get his heart right.” But you know what I didn’t hear? I didn’t hear him say “I’ve been living as a hypocrite for months. Through this experience, I’ve learned that I am the last person to be lecturing people about how they prosecute their sex lives. I apologize to all the gays and lesbians that I have indirectly demonized just because they loved someone I thought they shouldn’t. Henceforth, I’ll never try to legislate morality again.”

That would have been praise worthy.


Comments

6 Total Comments
Post your comment »
 
  1. collapse expand

    I guess I shouldn’t laugh. But I can’t help myself …

  2. collapse expand

    God damn i…I mean damn it you are right…gays should suffer marriage like the rest of us…and long marriages too…the ones were we watch ourselves and loved one get flabbier as time goes on. And can we finally put the last nail in the coffin of family values please.

  3. collapse expand

    I have always had one burning question: Why do we call it “adultery” when it’s people acting like children?

  4. collapse expand

    So glad they announced to the press that they’re not going to drag the children into it. Repeat, not drag the children into it. There are four of them. Will not drag in. Let me spell those heart-wrenching little names for you.

  5. collapse expand

    ““I’ve been living as a hypocrite for months. Through this experience, I’ve learned that I am the last person to be lecturing people about how they prosecute their sex lives. I apologize to all the gays and lesbians that I have indirectly demonized just because they loved someone I thought they shouldn’t. Henceforth, I’ll never try to legislate morality again.”

    Whatever your smoking Elie must be good some shit, can you set me up with some?

  6. collapse expand

    They need to go to every anti-gay rights “pro family” senator’s office with a large satchel and demand that the senators place their prepared confession of adultery statement in the bag along with all the sex tapes, foot tapping instructions, international plane tickets and whatever other mementos they kept, and do a show and tell on the senate floor in one big press conferences so that the American people stop wasting hours of precious tv time ogling over the affairs of individual senator affairs and just get them all out of the way in one fell swoop.

Log in for notification options
Comments RSS

Post Your Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment

Log in with your True/Slant account.

Previously logged in with Facebook?

Create an account to join True/Slant now.

Facebook users:
Create T/S account with Facebook
 

My T/S Activity Feed

 
     

    About Me

    My first name is pronounced like Eliot without the “it,” my last name is pronounced like the Crystal I don’t have the “M”oney to afford. I’m an editor of Above the Law, a legal website that covers all of the gossip and business of the legal profession. Prior to that I wrote about politics. I used to be a lawyer, but I quit that profession in lieu of stripping naked and lighting myself on fire. I received a degree in Government from Harvard University because I enjoy pain, and a J.D. from Harvard Law School because I dislike change. I’m also a Met fan (pain + born in Queens).

    I’m African-American thanks to my maternal grandmother (which means there is one word I can use that white people can’t. Mwahaha). My father is from Haiti and my wife is from Zimbabwe, but outside of the northeast corridor I turn into a sniveling idiot. My maternal grandfather is from China, so I can make fun of Chinese-Americans ¼ of the time. It’d be great to go a whole year without embarrassing my mother, as Julia might say “Ye Gods, can that woman wait.”

    See my profile »
    Followers: 154
    Contributor Since: May 2009