The Maligned Muffin

Have you ever heard of a muffin chastised for being a cupcake? Scorned by authority as “junk food”?  

Here’s how the story goes from one of my readers…

This mom of three decided to get the school year off to a very healthy start.  Already eating vegan, she plunged into new recipes to offer more variety of wholesome foods for her children.  She chose a number of new recipes from eat, drink & be vegan, one of which was Cocoa Banana Muffins, to pack into her kiddos’ lunches.  Now, if any of you have ever made these muffins you’ll know that they are not very sweet.  Not at all.  They are a “good-for-you” muffin, and not at all like the cake-like muffins you see in pallet-sized packs in big box stores.  They don’t resemble those ‘muffin’ monstrosities in the slightest… not in taste – or appearance (the whole-grain flours give a grainier appearance rather than that smooth cake-like texture).

So, this well intentioned mom packed a wee muffin in her boy’s lunch for the day, along with other healthy foods.  As her little fellow was about to eat his muffin, his teacher says “no, that’s an after-school treat“. 

What?  Since when is it okay for a teacher to restrict a child from eating something in their lunchbox? (unless an allergy is involved, which it wasn’t.)  How does she have the discretion to make that decision… or, the qualification to determine which foods are acceptably healthy for the classroom?  Let’s face it, the majority of people think yogurt tubes and cheese strings are healthy lunchbox foods!   Even if she was a registered dietitian, does she have the right to tell this boy that he cannot have that item in his lunchbox?  I think not.  She has also implied that the boy’s mother has made a poor decision by packing such a “treat”. 

And, let’s talk about that idea of a treat.  My kids get treats all the time.  They’re simply healthy treats.  There’s nothing wrong with that in my book, and if children can enjoy treats made from wholesome ingredients, they won’t feel left out and inclined to binge at other opportunities.  And, that treat probably has less sugar than the crackers or yogurt cup that another kid is eating at the next desk. 

And, I must mention the hypocrisy of school lunches.  As parents, we hear all too often about the importance of healthy lunches and snacks for our children.  We need to “fuel their bodies, fuel their minds”, and give them the goods they need to grow and learn to their full capacity.  Enter ”hot lunch days”, and menus such as this: meatball sub, mac n jack, chicken nuggets, pepperoni pizza, turkey wrap, perogies, hot dogs, hamburgers, chocolate milk, iced tea, chocolate pudding… and more white-bread/meat/cheese/sugar-laden options. 

I know from this mom that hot lunch day was the very next day at her school.  So, how is it that a wee cocoa muffin is not permitted, but a cheeseburger is?  Or a chocolate pudding?  And, when are the hot lunches going to reflect the heavily touted message of “fuel the body, fuel the mind”?  Please, folks, tell me that there are some changes in your schools and you have some healthy hot lunch menu offerings for your growing children!

Back to the muffin.  So, the chastised muffin returned home, along with a sad-faced boy.  Maybe if the mom baked a green bean into the tops of the muffins, it might be allowed.  No, wait!  I’ve got it!  Ditch the green bean and top the muffin with a slice of pepperoni… or better, embed a chicken nugget smack in the middle of the top of the muffin.  That might make it acceptable.