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Jun. 3 2010 - 8:46 am | 752 views | 0 recommendations | 0 comments

10 Benefits of Having a Sinkhole

In case you haven’t heard, a sinkhole opened up after a hurricane in Guatemala this weekend. It’s, you know, totally insane. The sinkhole goes so deep that reportedly the local government has been unable to measure it, and no one has any idea how it will be repaired. Obviously, much of the discussion has focused on how dangerous the sinkhole is, and how much damage it may cause the area. But isn’t that a little negative? Fact is, there’s plenty of uses for an infinitely deep sinkhole in your backyard. I think we all just need to look on the bright side. Right?…Right?!

In that spirit then, here are the 10 greatest benefits of having a sinkhole…

10. Great place to store all those Justin Beiber albums you have lying around.

9. BP, meet sinkhole. Problem solved.

8. Sex and the City 2 costs 12 bucks. What would you rather stare at for 2 hours and 25 minutes?

7. Keep it lit low and tell the kids you finally got ‘em that swimming pool they were bitching about.

6. Beats the hell out of living next to Sarah Palin. (gun shot!)

5. Hey, sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name.

4. Rumor has it that way down at the bottom, you can find Joe Lieberman’s approval rating.

3. What do you think is easier: blue recycle bin, or sinkhole?

2. If you ever have to teach “the birds and the bees” to a giant, you now have a perfect visual aid.

and the number one benefit of having a sinkhole…

1. Outside chance Lebron decides to play for the Guatemala Sinkholes next season.

What? It’s not like Letterman invented the idea of listing things…


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    About Me

    Twitter: @b_donovan

    I am a writer, actor, and North Korean Dictator. Over the years though I've written for everything from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to Fox News to Chapelle's Show, and can be seen frequently on Vh1 making snide remarks at the expense of others. Recently I was the Head Writer of "Fair Game", a news and comedy show from Public Radio International. My interests range from news to sports to entertainment, so this blog should read kinda like the evening news, except funnier and with less Brian Williams. Fuck Brian Williams.

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