Lost: Our Crazy Girlfriend Returns
We’ve all had at least one relationship with a crazy. The second you meet, you know it could become something big. There’s an exciting energy, like you have no idea what could happen next. You find yourself fascinated by everything your new partner does, giddy when you’re with them, then dissecting their every word when you’re apart. It starts out like a dream, then slowly over time, things change. Their charming little quirks and eccentricities become more impractical and annoying. What was once intriguing and mysterious now just leaves you confused and frustrated. “Wait a second, why do I have seven missed calls in the last half hour?”, “Was all that yelling in the kid’s section of the library totally necessary?”, “Is she crying while we’re having sex? Again?” These become common questions in your life. Sure you could break up, but then you’ll miss what happens next. Things might turn around. The good times were so good, so what if the bad times are so bad? If you give up now, you might miss the moment where it all works out; where finally everything starts to make sense. If you’re nodding along to any part of this then either you too have had a very crazy girlfriend, or you’ve spent the last six years watching Lost.
"Huh?"
The plot of Lost has always been toeing the line of incomprehensibility. The trick then was to maintain complete and utter commitment to the show. You had to watch it with devotion every week, then spend serious time either by yourself or with other co-dependents figuring out what it all meant. If you allowed yourself thoughts of “maybe this isn’t worth the effort” or “I have the sinking feeling the producers have no idea what they’re doing”, you were done for. To let doubt slip in the door was to introduce the very real possibility that you’d never get it closed again. When Jack first started to see his father on the island, and you realized it was all just a hallucination, you could’ve started to question things. But then where would you be? Exactly the same with a bonkers girlfriend. (Or boyfriend, I imagine, but I’m going with what I know here.) I once dated a girl who refused to ever call me back. It wasn’t a respect thing (so I told myself), she just felt that girls should never be expected to return messages. It was the man’s job to keep calling. Insane? Absolutely. But she was beautiful and had a laugh like sunshine, so what was I going to do? Should I have dropped Lost when people started traveling bizarrely and inexplicably back in time? Maybe. But then I would’ve missed so much great television. And plus, this was a relationship, damn it. I was in it for the long haul.
There's a whole lot riding on these guys, and one of them doesn't even have a name.
Lost requires you to be either all-in or all-out. Others have given up. I have many friends who were Lost devotees, then at some point threw in the towel. I can’t say I blame them. I mean come on, you turn a wheel and the island disappears? Or relocates? Or…goes back in time, or whatever the heck happened? That’s tough to defend. And their lives seem so much simpler now. They just watch other shows; shows that you don’t have to pause three times and search the Internet for explanations; shows that don’t require playing in reverse to decode obscure messages. These friends insist they’re happy, but I know there’s a part of them that wonders, “what if I stuck it out?” Because there’s a chance it will all make sense. Just like there’s a chance that the crazy girlfriend will mellow out a bit and everything will be amazing. The bookend of the Season 5 finale, with Jacob and the “Man in Black”, looked like maybe Jenn had realized the error in her ways and was willing to start calling me back. But then again, I did just refer to a character by his clothing because the show was too cryptic to give him an actual name. So let’s not get too optimistic.
But this season it’s all gonna end, one way or another. We’ll know whether all the line we’ve given Lost will have a big fish waiting at the end of it, or if just gets cut and we’re standing there with a broken fishing rod in our hands. The creators insist that there’s been a plan all along, and that a definite end date has helped them tie things up nicely. But I’m not convinced. “The island is magical” has been an inadequate explanation for too many of the show’s mysteries, just like “she likes to keep things passionate and spontaneous!” can be for a troubling partner. But like many of you I’m sure, one thing I know is that I’ll be watching. Because one way or the other, something crazy is gonna happen. And who can resist that?
Post Your Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment
T/S Members
Log in with your True/Slant account.
SPOILER ALERT: Tony orders onion rings for the table.
Brian– Great piece. Me, I’m in the cohort of people who threw in the towel. If I wanted to spend all my time trying to make a meaningful connection with something that baffles me, I’d go back to work on that machine that translates dog to human. But “Lost”? Life’s too short, man.
I spent a chunk of the late fall/early winter watching all of Lost on Netflix on demand and Hulu, so I guess for me it’s sort of like having the short, intense relationship with the crazy ex- that blows up quicly, but then you drunk dial each other weekly for a few months before it all peters out.
Just you wait. That’s the thing about the crazies, just when you think you’re out, they pull you back in…
In response to another comment. See in context »Is this syndication (hooking up with your crazy ex- when you or she is in town)? Or is it a spin-off (your crazy ex- gets involved with one of your buddies and you have to endure how happy they seem to be, when anyone else can see that it’s not as good as the original, you and her)?
Oops, sorry, did I just kill this metaphor?
In response to another comment. See in context »that’s a false choice. No one’s friends would ever hook up with a true loony tune – they’d be far too afraid of getting knifed or something.
In response to another comment. See in context »Best post title I’ve seen all week!
Okay, but all of the sudden you start writing about a tv show, and I’m still wondering what to do about the crazy girlfriend.
Simple, Jeff. Cancel her. Or replace her with Jay Leno. Whatever’s easier.
In response to another comment. See in context »You’ve captured so much here. Great job. Last night was like watching your crazy ex hit on Ghengis Khan. And your friends at the bar are saying “Dude, it’s Ghengis Khan, she doesn’t love him, she’s just doing it to annoy you.”
Ha! I’m so tired of getting c-blocked by Ghengis Khan.
In response to another comment. See in context »I gave up on Lost after two seasons because a series of crazy ex-gfs taught me that smart money always cuts bait.