Lady MacBeth Crashes The White House

Sure, we could talk about the surge of troops of Afghanistan, but these nut bars are a heck of lot more fun, aren’t they?

By now we’ve all heard of the Salahis, the photo-friendly Washington DC couple that may or may not have been sneaking into events for the last ten years. According to the Washington Post, the Salahis have a series of emails that prove they were encouraged to attend the White House event, and were promised there would be an invite waiting for them. Of course, those emails haven’t been released to the public, which is not exactly how I would handle a stack of get-out-of-crazy-jail free cards, but who am I to judge? Maybe this all has been a big misunderstanding. Maybe, I thought, the Salahis were just a nice young couple who got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time? That was until I watched this…

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I mean…wow! Could I get a tall order of insane, with a side of totally nuts? Oh, and some dyed roots for dessert. It’s like balloon boy all over again. World thinks couple is crazy, couple goes on Today Show to prove their sanity, within minutes world realizes couple is much crazier than they ever expected. What were the tip offs here?

1) Tareq looks less like a husband and more like a hostage. I mean, the woman was literally feeding him lines! Tareq would start to speak, Michaele would mutter a few key phrases, then he would parrot them back as if the just popped into his head. It must be hard for him to talk on TV with her gun pointed at his backk like that. Would he more comfortable if we got him a hood and a newspaper to hold up to the camera? Honestly, Lee Harvey Oswald looked more comfortable on television. I would describe Tareq’s general facial expression as “if I don’t nail this she is gonna berate me the entire car ride home, and there’s at least a 50-50 chance there’ll be hitting.” You gotta feel bad for the guy. I mean seriously, MacBeth was less terrified of his wife.

2) Michaele plays the victim. It was all over within 2 minutes. Matt Lauer asks “how did you react when the story broke”, and Michaele says “devastated.” Really? You were devastated? Uh, why exactly? I was devastated when my grandma died. Or when things ended with my high school girlfriend. Or that time my TiVo was broken for two weeks. But finding out that people think you crashed a party that you say you were actually invited to? That’s not devastation. That’s maybe…embarrassing. Or actually, pretty funny – if you’re truly being wronged. I honestly think most (normal, not crazy) people would find the whole experience fairly hysterical. But not Lady Salahi. Her “life has been destroyed. 44 years, destroyed.” Unless your entire life goal was to avoid being the subject of a incorrect news story, methinks you doth protest too much.

3) The Salahis are pursuing a reality show. That’s all we need to know, isn’t it? Turns out they’re contestants for the new “Real Housewives” season on Bravo. And if this doesn’t work, you can be sure Tareq will be seen flying in a hot air balloon above the Colorado suburbs any day now.