5 Reasons Why Eli Manning Doesn’t Deserve His Contract

The Giants have reportedly made their quarterback, Eli Manning, the NFL’s highest paid player – pledging him a salary of $15.3 million dollars over the next seven years. Uh…what? Eli Manning? My thoughts…

1) How much would the Giants would pay Eli if he was actually good? In 2008, Eli’s best statistical season, he threw 21 TDs to 10 interceptions, which is actually pretty solid. But his completion percentage, yards passing, and QB rating were all horrendous from a premier QB. He placed 19th, 17th and 14th in those categories respectively, meaning he couldn’t be more middle of the road if he were a pair of white lines. Manning’s 86.4 QB rating in 2008, the best number he’s ever put up, nestled him nicely behind NFL immortals Shaun Hill and Seneca Wallace. If someone asked you to give Seneca Wallace $15 million to play next season you’d punch them in the face. Twice.

If I had to pick a QB to start a team tomorrow, I’d probably go 1) Tom Brady 2) Drew Brees 3) Peyton Manning 4) Jessica Alba (we’d lose every game, but boy would we have fun doing it) 5) Ben Roethlisberger 6) Phillip Rivers, then a selection from the Eli Manning/Tony Romo/Jay Cutler grab bag. You just can’t justify pay a guy this much when there are at least 7 seven players you could replace him with and not lose a beat.

"This feels a lot like money!!"

2) What I’ve heard repeatedly today from folks on the twitter and the sports radio is “Eli knows how to win!”, “He’s got a Super Bowl ring!” and “Only one stat matters in the NFL and it’s Wwwwwwwwwwins!”. Classic sports argument, isn’t it? How come you never hear it when you’re talking players that are actually really good players? No one ever says, “Say what you will about Lou Gehrig, but that guy knew how to win!.” Or, “you know, maybe Bill Russell didn’t fill up the stat sheet, but boy could he pull out a ‘W.”’ Or “sure Albert Pujols is inconsistent, but when the chips are down he really delivers.” You know why? Because REALLY good players aren’t inconsistent. They deliver all the time, no matter where these mythical chips are. Great players fill up the stat sheets – that’s what make them great. And when they win a ring it’s because their teammates do enough to help them out. But the greats need no qualification. Even the biggest Giant fan out there can’t say ”Eli Manning is a great player” without adding a “BUT” and then listing all the reasons why he’s really not that great. That’s a pretty good sign he shouldn’t be making all that money.

And about that Super Bowl, let’s take it easy Giant fans. Fact is it was statistically the least likely Super Bowl outcome in the history of the NFL, and without a miraculous catch by David Tyree – and his helmet – (a player who, incidentally hasn’t caught a ball since), the Giants lose, Tom Coughlin is probably fired, and there’s no way in hell Eli Manning gets this contract. Do I realize this exact same thing can be said about Dave Roberts’ stolen base in 2004? Yes, but I’d rather not discuss it.

"yep, i'm better."

3) How can you be the highest paid player in the league if you’re not even picked first in your family pickup games? Doesn’t seem right. Peyton clearly goes #1, and honestly, you’re sweating a little having to chose between Archie and Eli at #2. “What’s Mom like on the offense line? Can she keep Grandma off him? Do you think Uncle Gary is a big time receiver? Alright, I guess I’ll go Eli….”

4) Speaking of elite receivers, there is no evidence that Eli can play without one. After Plaxico Burress got a little shooty shooty last season, Eli’s QB rating dropped to 69.6. That’s not good. Despite the Giants having a solid core of young, athletic receivers, Eli never found his groove with them. Without the ability to throw it up to Plax and let him make a crazy catch, Manning looked a little lost. You think that woulda happened to Brady? Or Peyton? Or…Seneca Wallace? Not what you’re looking for from the most expensive guy in the league.

"I wouldn't draft me either"

5) It’s a month from now and your fantasy football draft is starting. How long until you even THINK about drafting Eli? Six rounds? Seven? Eight? (ESPN currently has him ranked at 95th overall, 15th for QB’s). And If you do finally take him, how long do you wait before hitting the “draft” button, thinking “man, this guy could totally F-up my entire team.”? The thought definitely crosses your mind. And you’re running a fake team on a friggin’ computer. Tell me Giant executives aren’t thinking that thought every day between now and opening kickoff. And they just threw over 100 million dollars for the privilege. That’s gotta hurt.

So that’s what I think. If you disagree, please let me know about it. Maybe Eli will come out like gangbusters this year and rub my face in the dirt. Maybe. But I doubt it. Have fun New York, hope it works out for you…

(really though, I don’t)