Comfort Wipe: Best Invention Ever
Fact: the worst thing about going to the bathroom is using your arms. Agreed? Well fret no longer no ladies and gentleman, as God has given us The Comfort Wipe. (And yes, I think this item was directly created by God for our use. Kinda like the sun.)
I believe the “big guy” is suggesting that fat people can’t wipe their behinds? Is that true? Is that really a thing? If it is, Good Lord do I have to start taking the gym more seriously. If “unable to reach own butt” is a potential pitfall of letting yourself go, then I…well, I don’t know what I’m doing here blogging. I, and you, and everyone you’ve ever met needs to get on a treadmill pronto. If not you may never again TOUCH YOUR OWN BUTT! And what do you do if you actually need the comfort wipe – do you carry it with you wherever you go? Then, if someone asks what it is, you say…what exactly? “Oh it’s just a stick I use to clean my ass.” Bet that’d go over great at a job interview.
And how about the jaunty old lady at the end, who seems to be sort of interested in the C-W (that’s what the kids call it) and sort of trying to hit on the cameraman. Hey lady, this is serious business. Could you tone down the “flirty senior citizen” shitck — we’re trying to sell butt poles here. Show the Comfort Wipe a little respect.
Anyway, I’m gonna buy a couple, anyone want in?
(thanks for the find buzzfeed!)