Domestic Abuse Hurts Everyone

In the wake of former cop Drew Peterson being arrested on charges he murdered his third wife (his fourth wife is still missing and presumed dead) there are loads of words being written on the topic of domestic abuse.

Over at Women In Crime Ink, one of my fellow contributors wrote something I feel I MUST pass along.  Because, you see, domestic violence can hit any class of family, in any big city or small village. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or don’t have or whether the children are damaged in the awful process.  Domestic abuse happens behind closed doors all the time.  And only when the woman finds the strength to walk away does it stop.

Below find the words of  Susan Murphy Milano , a remarkable woman who has spent 20 years as a prosecutor of domestic violence crimes, with an expertise in police officer perpetrated violence.  To say she knows of what she speaks is an understatement.   Her personal story is a riveting lesson for us all.

As a child Susan grew up in an abusive household with a domineeing  father who controlled  the family with an iron fist.  Just like Drew Peterson her dad was a POLICE OFFICER – a detective with the Chicago Violent Crimes Unit, no less – and he instilled in the family a sense of hopelessness.  Who were they going to report his bad deeds to?  His fellow cops?

Susan Murphy Milano

Susan’s words which follow are more poignant when you realize the ultimate end for her parents.  Her mother was murdered by her father.  He then killed himself.  An all too familiar end to the horrible cycle.

Please pass this on if you suspect a woman you know needs an exit plan….I know I sure did once.

If you have been in an abusive relationship or currently are with someone who takes you on a roller ride twenty-four hours a day, you understand what it is like to be treated as if you do not matter, to wait on their every request (more like demands) only to end up right where they want you, under their control.  And for some reason, because you love this person, cannot leave financially or have little left of your self worth, you put up with the verbal, emotional and physical assaults.

So you stay right where you most want to escape from…long beyond the time you should have said, you meant to say…NO MORE!   continue »