There’s a lot of fuss and TV coverage (Today Show, GMA) about Bristol Palin… she’s the new teen ambassador for the Candie’s Foundation, an organization dedicated to preventing teen pregnancy through abstinence.  Bristol is the 18-year-old daughter of Governor Sarah Palin.  And surprise… most of the fuss is about Bristol contradicting herself  (Katie Couric was nowhere close to this one).  As the Candie’s ambassador, she is promoting abstinence.  But in an earlier Fox interview (before she was Candie’s ambassador), she said abstinence is “unrealistic.”  OK, maybe it’s genetic. Or maybe she’s just a teen – they contradict themselves constantly.

What bothers me is bigger than another Palin contradicting herself in interviews.  What troubles me is the message she’s sending to young girls.  First of all, she’s saying she believes in abstinence and safe sex, but she’s holding her baby boy, Tripp, in her lap… so she’s really saying, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say.” That never works with tween-teen girls.  They want you to walk the talk.  Sure, it’s OK to say, “I made a mistake and I don’t want you to make one because your life could turn out hard like mine.”  But Bristol’s life isn’t looking so hard – in fact, it’s looking pretty darn glamorous… she’s on TV!   Tween-teen girls would love to be on TV.   She’s sitting on the sofa on the Today Show with her dad (that was a little too Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus for me) and her baby, Tripp… loving him and showing the joys of motherhood.  It’s great that she loves her baby… the problem is that young girls see this and think “baby, unconditional love, dad by my side…”

I think Candie’s should find a celebrity role model who tween girls will look up to… a role model who practices abstinence who can talk about how cool it is.  Or maybe the problem is they can’t find one?  So maybe Bristol was right when she said abstinence is “unrealistic.”

“Afraid My Parent(s) Will Die” … that was the Number 1 answer when we asked the AllyKatzz.com girls what they are afraid of.  (Poll results:  239 girls ages 9-15 years old, 93% are 10-14.)

Here’s their  Top 10 “Scares Me” List:

Image via Wikipedia

79% are scared of their parents dying

75% are afraid of being raped

74% = being kidnapped

70% = not being able to breath

69% = being shot by someone they don’t know (note:  while 41% are afraid of kids at their school with weapons)

64% = cancer

62% = terrorist attack

62% = tornadoes and/or hurricanes

61% = losing their homes

54% = fire

What else?  52% are afraid of getting pregnant.  44% are afraid a family member will go to war and 37% are afraid they will have to fight in a war.  41% voted AIDS/STDs.  If you’re wondering, “What happened to being afraid of the dark?”  “Dark” is in the bottom 5 things they are afraid of (24%), along with flying on an airplane.

Based on what the girls post every day, these numbers do make sense.  They feel “out of control”… even for things they have control over such as “getting pregnant.”  But the majority of things they really don’t have control over/don’t understand.  They are baffled by the economy.  Girls talk about trying to understand what’s going on,  but parents say it’s too complicated and teachers say it’s not part of the lesson plan.  These girls do not consume news the way we do (24/7) – they pick it up in bits and pieces, often from friends at school.  That’s always dangerous!   Parents, use this list to see what your daughters are afraid of… do it in a fun way… you can even make it into a game… vote on this top 10 list, add others, etc.  Girls love fun quizzes – especially when it’s about them.  Marketers – there are some great tips in this list for you.

Here’s how one girl explains her fear of losing her parents:

i am really afraid of my parents dying from a car accident or something, so everytime they walk out the door to drive somewhere, i take a good look at their face and give them a hug and kiss, just in case its the last time i see them. its kinda like the superchick song ‘we live’ “theres a cross at the side of the road where a mother lost a son, who could she know that the moment he left would be the last time she’d trade with him for a little more time. she could say she loved him one last time and hold him tight, but with life you never know when your coming up to the end of the road.”

via The Top 10 Things That Scare You – AllyKatzz.com.

A 10-year-old British girl is making a name for herself … as a graffiti artist.  Here name is Solveig and some say she is the “female Banksy.”   I am always amazed at what tween girls can do when we let them draw “outside the lines” and let them be heard – through their voices, their words and their art.  I want to be her in my next life.

From Solveig, the 10 year old British graffiti artist:  I wanted to do a picture of two skeletons that have a hair salon called ’scare cuts’ the skeleton on the left is not very good and is always messing up the hair cuts. the one on the right is the boss and drops the cups of tea when he sees what the other one has done. The dude with the glasses is cross because he is late for work as he only wanted a trim. The girl has accidently been turned into a blond amy winehouse. The black man likes his haircut though.

via SOLVEIG – SCARE CUTS. on Flickr – Photo Sharing!.

Image by Peter π via Flickr

A new survey released today from the nation’s leading tween girl marketing consultancy and research company, AK Tweens, shows an alarming trend among tween girls — sexting. Believed by most experts and parents to be a “teen” only problem, the survey revealed that 30% of tween girls — many as young as 10 years old — are “sexting” — sending, receiving and/or posting sexy messages/photos e.g. photos of themselves in their underwear, or without clothes, messages of a sexual or suggestive nature online and via cell phone/email.

via New Survey From AK Tweens Reveals Sexting Not Just a Teen Problem; Tween Girls as Young as 10 Are Also Sending, | Reuters.

If you’re thinking or hoping that tween girls don’t really understand what sexting is… that maybe their definition of sexty messages/photos isn’t the same as teens, young adults and adults, brace yourself.  We asked the girls to give us examples of “Sexting”… here’s what they said:

“Message:  You can do whatever you want babe ”

“Someone is nude or showing too much skin or acting ’sexy’ in a picture.  Messages would be like sendin things that say what they would want to do with them in bed.”

“You exposing your body parts or you making out with someone or having sex.”

“A picture that one of your friends takes of you while your in your undewear while you’re playing around at a sleep over, and then texts it to one of her guy friends.”

WHY? When asked why they send or post sexy messages/photos, 82.2% said to get attention, 66.3% said to be “cool,” 59.4% said to be like the popular girls, and 54.8% said to find a boyfriend.

What does this mean to parents of tween girls? Most parents of tween girls have a false sense of security that their daughters aren’t old enough to know or care about sexting let alone participate, so they are less likely to talk about sexting and the consequences.  They mistake not hearing about it from their daughters as a sign that it’s not happening, when instead, it’s likely a sign that they just aren’t telling their parents about it.  Even the recent spate of media attention sexting has received has been almost exclusively focused on teens.  Tweens are just as tech savvy and connected these days as their teen counterparts, but even less equipped to understand or deal with the negative and long lasting consequences sexting produces.

What should parents do? Talk to their daughters (and sons).  It’s no different than “Don’t jump in the car with the strange man.”  The problem is that many parents don’t really understand who the “strange man” is and they don’t know how to talk about it, so they don’t talk about it… until it’s too late.  That’s why we conducted this survey… to help parents understand what’s really going on… and to know that their tweens need their help before it’s too late.

“My daughter spends most of her time on one of those ‘homework helper‘ sites when she’s on the computer.”  I hear that all the time from parents.  I want to roll my eyes, but I resist that urge and try to help them understand that tween girls aren’t really spending that much time getting homework help… they’re “talking with friends” and checking out Fred on YouTube.   They usually disagree with me because there is no way their darling daughter would lie about this.   Important point:  Tweens girls  are darling and they do lie – it’s part of being a tween-teen.  So I asked the AllyKatzz girls if they use homework help sites.  The results aren’t surprising, unless you’re a parent who has believed this, “Mom, I’ll come to dinner in a minute, I’m on the computer getting help with my homework.”