No, Lady Gaga does not have a penis
Does Lady Gaga have a penis? It is a question at the very heart of this dream we call America. The search for Gaga’s man part has been an internet preoccupation for years now, with countless YouTube clips offering smoking gun (as it were) evidence. Google “Lady Gaga penis” if you don’t believe me.
Gaga herself took the rumor head on in her video for “Telephone,” dishing up pixelated shot of her bare crotch as she hangs on the bars of fa jail cell. “I told you she didn’t have a dick,” one of the guards quips.
But was the video proof? I mean, what with video editing technology, how do we know that Gaga wasn’t simply stripped of her member with dirty cutting room tricks.
Well, the London Times has sent a reporter to solve the case. Caitlin Moran got so close with Gaga on her assignment that the two women peed together in an VIP bathroom.
For the first year of her career, massive internet rumors claimed that Gaga was, in fact, a man–a rumor so strong that Oprah had to question her about it, when Gaga appeared on her show.
Perhaps uniquely among all the journalists in the world, I can now factually confirm that Lady Gaga does not have a penis. That rumor can, conclusively, die.
Well, “conclusively” might be a bit strong. As we all know by now, if you learn something on the internet, it probably isn’t true. Yet, how can we use that law given that word of Gaga’s penis, as well as the lack thereof both came to us via the electronic rumor machine?