Crashes of the day: Lance Armstrong, Rand Paul, Lindsay Lohan, Bret Michaels

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If you’re one for shaddenfreude, May 20, 2010 was a day you might soon not forget. Here’s a re-cap of what sucked for whom on Thursday.

Lance Armstrong crashed in the Tour of California on the same day that former teammate Floyd Landis admitted to doping and accused Armstrong of doing same. While Armstrong, in trademark fashion, denied the Landis claims, the crash knocked him out of the race, and left him with stitches but no broken bones.

Rand Paul had a cringe-worthy 24-hours in which, on the Rachel Maddow Show, he went from decrying the Civil Rights Act and arguing that private employers should have the right to discriminate against potential employees on the basis of race, to, by late Thursday, backtracking and making his vaunted principles seem not all that steady.

Lindsay Lohan failed to show up for a court appearance in California and a judge there promptly issued a warrant for her arrest. Lohan’s attorney said that a dog ate Lohan’s passport was stolen while at the Cannes Film Festival. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve tried that excuse… Lucky for Lohan, the judge agreed to rescind the arrest order after lawyers fronted bail money.

Obama administration National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair announced his resignation Thursday after failing to quell turf battles with the CIA, heightened by Blair’s bizarre, off-message comments about the failed airline bombing in Detroit on Christmas Day.

Rock demi-god Bret Michaels headed back to the hospital just days after being treated for a brain hemorrhage. The problem this time? A stroke that caused numbness on the left side of his body. Doctors also discovered a small hole in his heart. Maybe he’ll be well enough for the finale his latest reality TV show, and maybe he won’t.

And, oh yeah, a whole bunch of people drew pictures of the Muslim prophet Muhammad.