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May. 21 2010 - 12:59 am | 724 views | 1 recommendation | 1 comment

Crashes of the day: Lance Armstrong, Rand Paul, Lindsay Lohan, Bret Michaels

Cyclist Lance Armstrong at the 2008 Tour de Gr...

Image via Wikipedia

If you’re one for shaddenfreude, May 20, 2010 was a day you might soon not forget. Here’s a re-cap of what sucked for whom on Thursday.

Lance Armstrong crashed in the Tour of California on the same day that former teammate Floyd Landis admitted to doping and accused Armstrong of doing same. While Armstrong, in trademark fashion, denied the Landis claims, the crash knocked him out of the race, and left him with stitches but no broken bones.

Rand Paul had a cringe-worthy 24-hours in which, on the Rachel Maddow Show, he went from decrying the Civil Rights Act and arguing that private employers should have the right to discriminate against potential employees on the basis of race, to, by late Thursday, backtracking and making his vaunted principles seem not all that steady.

Lindsay Lohan failed to show up for a court appearance in California and a judge there promptly issued a warrant for her arrest. Lohan’s attorney said that a dog ate Lohan’s passport was stolen while at the Cannes Film Festival. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve tried that excuse… Lucky for Lohan, the judge agreed to rescind the arrest order after lawyers fronted bail money.

Obama administration National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair announced his resignation Thursday after failing to quell turf battles with the CIA, heightened by Blair’s bizarre, off-message comments about the failed airline bombing in Detroit on Christmas Day.

Rock demi-god Bret Michaels headed back to the hospital just days after being treated for a brain hemorrhage. The problem this time? A stroke that caused numbness on the left side of his body. Doctors also discovered a small hole in his heart. Maybe he’ll be well enough for the finale his latest reality TV show, and maybe he won’t.

And, oh yeah, a whole bunch of people drew pictures of the Muslim prophet Muhammad.


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    I've published two novels: The Secrets of the Camera Obscura (Chronicle Books), and The Third Eye (Nan A. Talese/Doubleday). I'm currently working as a journalist for AOL's Sphere. For the past three years I also spouted political opinion for AOL's Political Machine, which I also helped edit. My non-fiction has appeared in places like Men's Vogue, The Wall Street Journal Magazine, USA Today, Newsday, Travel + Leisure, GQ (Spain), and Vanity Fair (Italy). I've dabbled with short stories, publishing in Nerve and a few small journals.

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