Steak for stock? What a nifty idea!

Image by killrbeez via Flickr

Well, at least one New York steak house may have figured out a way to turn black humor about those obscene banker bonuses into a profit stream.

Smith & Wollensky, that bastion of artery-clogging deliciousness on 3rd Avenue and 49th Street in Manhattan, is running full page newspaper ads offering to accept stock certificates — “priced at the close of business” — as payment for restaurant bills.

Their pitch is hysterical. They site slashed income for personal shoppers, real estate brokers and pet psychiatrists as one of the catastrophic effects of the non-cash bonuses. And up there among the catastrophes they list the huge quantities of steak and lobster that will go uneaten. “One need not be an economist to see that something must be done,” they rightly note.

In fact, why paraphrase when their own words are so delicious:

By accepting stock in lieu of dollars we are taking the first important step towards getting those bonuses back into the city’s economy So bring us your CIT, your GS, your MS, your C; we’ll gladly exchange them for sirloins, porterhouse and ribeye. And yes, we’ll even accept GM.”

One of the things in the fine print: No cash refunds if the value of the stock certificate exceeds the cost of the dinner. These guys are not taking any chances here.

My only question: Think they’ll accept New York Times stock? Filet mignon, here I come!

Kudos to them for providing a giggle — and a steak — in these laugh-challenged times.