Should you take your kids to see Where the Wild Things Are?

Wait – you actually think I’m stupid enough to answer that for you? That’s your job, parents. I’m not about to step in that briar patch.

But…

I do want to throw in my two cents after seeing the film on Friday, because I feel like I saw a different movie than a lot of critics. To hear them tell it, Where the Wild Things Are is a movie about children, but definitely not for children. It’s clearly too dark and depressing for the tots to handle, and it might be best for the little ones to sit this one out.

Well…

I don’t get it. OK, if you’ve got a toddler that wets themselves in fear when Big Bird walks onscreen or turns into a hysterical mess when they sit on Santa’s lap, then, yes, they should probably take a raincheck. But you’d probably know well enough not to take them to see a movie that has monsters twice the size of the protagonist running around in the trailer, anyway, right? Otherwise, the fuss is way out of proportion to the material, and I’m afraid it will make a lot of kids miss out on an incredible movie experience because adults are doing them the favor of being afraid for them.

Somethin’ filled up
my heart with nothin’,
someone told me not to cry.

First of all, it’s not that dark. Unlike a ton of children’s classics (Charlotte’s Web, Old Yeller, Harry Potter, Where the Red Fern Grows, Bride to Terabithia, The Red Pony, Watership Down, etc.), no one even dies in it. It does have an intense range of emotions, veering wildly from joy to sadness to fear, but so does childhood itself. If all kids are only introduced to entertainment that’s all sweetness and light, then they’re going to feel like a freak when they experience all the other emotions. There’s so much falseness we’re fed in popular culture – children, especially – that we feel a sense of relief when the truth is reflected back to us. Now, that truth, if it’s worth anything, is probably going to hurt. But that uncomfortable awareness is much more appropriate and rewarding than a comfortable lie; the lie, in this case, being that childhood is nothing but sugar and smiles and clever comebacks to adults.

But now that I’m older,
my heart’s colder,
and I can see that it’s a lie.

Second, I think the movie is going to be remembered as classic of the genre, and I’d be pretty sad as a kid if I missed that experience. I can’t imagine I’ll ever have a movie trigger the emotions that E.T. did for me when I saw it in the theater when I was 8 years old. I only wish I could feel that now. Now, I’m not saying WTWTA is that good or that it’s perfect by any means; there are plenty of lulls and missteps and things that could be tightened here and there. But Spike Jonze said he set out to make a film that showed what it felt like to be 9 years old, and by that metric, it’s safe to say he nailed it. The film is masterful at capturing that awkward time when you still want all the perks of being a kid but you’re getting tired of the downsides. You’re beginning to be forced to draw bright lines in your life; the choices between fun or freedom, autonomy or mothering, respect or protection start cropping up constantly. There aren’t many movies that deal with this time this well, and for that reason alone, I’d take my kids to see it. Plus, they’ll get to see a career performance by James Gandolfini before they’re old enough to borrow your Sopranos DVDs.

Children wake up,
hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust.

Third, I’d think that as a parent, I’d want to err on the side of challenging my kids, rather than placating them. There are worse things in the world than letting a kid get bored – like letting them watch the Disney Channel, for one. I’d much rather my child be exposed to – gasp! – actual emotions than to let them be brainwashed by a torrent of commercials and tweener sitcoms, and all the narcissistic materialism and inappropriate sexuality they promote. I always loved watching parents take their kids to MOMA in New York. There was no worrying about what was over their head or whether they might get bored or any nonsense like that. It was just a parent asking their child “Well, what do you think of that?” Is it too much to ask that we have the same attitude towards movies? Why do we assume kids can only enjoy what’s dull, dumb and loud?

If the children don’t grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We’re just a million little gods causin’ rain storms turnin’ every good thing to
rust.

I worried for a long time that the [famously good] trailer was misleading, that the Arcade Fire song was just catnip for the young adults, and the final product would be way more sappy and silly than implied. But while it was a good deal more kinetic than the movie, the lyrics and emotional coloring of the song and trailer ended up being a good clue to what the movie contained. Growing up is hard. You have to give up some things. But refusing to do so is much worse, and you’ll end up hurting the ones you love if you don’t. So you might as well start now.

I guess we’ll just have to adjust.