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Jan. 7 2010 — 6:35 pm | 455 views | 0 recommendations | 2 comments

Tila Tequila’s 10 Stages of Grief (PHOTOS)

gallery-msg-126290098503-3Tila Tequila seemed pretty emotionally fragile to begin with, so the untimely death of her so-called fiance Casey Johnson and the endless media scrutiny that comes along with that is a potent recipe for a special kind of craziness. For example: These insane photos, which were taken earlier today outside of her home. She’s literally up a tree. In fact, one can only begin to make sense of her behavior by trying to understand Tila Tequila’s 10 Stages of Grief.

Click through our gallery to follow along.

Dec. 16 2009 — 2:45 pm | 20 views | 0 recommendations | 0 comments

Star Magazine Seizes Tigergate As Chance to Further Humiliate Jessica Simpson

Tiger/JessTabloid magazine editors care about one thing and one thing only: Using thier every waking moment to dream up crazy and dramatic ways to make the world hate Jessica Simpson (they’ve been doing this ever since they finally got bored with forcing us all to feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston). So we can’t say we’re altogether surprised that the creative “truth artists” over at Star magazine found a way to drag poor Jessica into the festering mess that the Tiger Woods scandal has become.

Come on, Star. You’re better than that. If you’re just going to make things up about Tigergate, at least step up your game to UsWeekly levels by hiring so-called experts to explain, scientifically, how everything Tiger Woods has ever done proves he’s a total scumbag.

Who do you think will win the race to the bottom?

Dec. 11 2009 — 1:40 pm | 8 views | 0 recommendations | 1 comment

This Susan Boyle Thing, It’s Enough Already

Susan Boyle in pastels - Because of ongoing di...

Image via Wikipedia

By Colin Goldman

She’s a sweet lady, but haven’t you kind of had enough of Susan Boyle? The Scottish chanteuse came to prominence through her dazzling performance on the amateur talent program, Britain’s Got Talent, in August of last year, with a recording of the performance quickly going uber-viral on YouTube to viewers around the globe.

Just a year later, the crooning highlander’s first album has dropped and is dominating the billboard charts in the U.S. and around the world. But how will this overnight success story ultimately play out? Through a process we here at Celebuzz call, “uninformed wild-guessing”, we have surmised four possible outcomes to the Susan Boyle story:

1.  The Fairytale Ending

A lonesome spinster her forty-eight years to date, Susan’s 2010 world tour in support of her album leads her into the company of a certain world-class golfer recently divorced from his wife following an extra-marital sex scandal of epic proportion.  As Susan hails from the land where golf was invented, the two hit it off immediately and make plans for a future wedding, with vows optional.

2.  The Winehouse

Newfound fame on the music circuit leads Susan into the seedy underbelly of the industry, including groupies, dirty needles, and sleazy drug-users and dealers just looking to corrupt the naive Ms. Boyle. Eyes barely open following a night of crack-binging, Susan finds a very unclothed Pete Doherty next to her in bed. Simon Cowell sponsors her rehab.

3.  The Long, Slow, Decline

Susan entirely overplays her fifteen minutes of fame into two years of shame spiral, leading her to be labeled “The Next James Blunt”, and a never-ending string of weaker and weaker bookings and performances until she finds herself with a talk show on the Oxygen Channel.  Yep, it gets that bad.

4.  The Reverse Joaquin Phoenix

Having achieved such superstardom so easily in the world of music, Susan declares that she is no longer going to record music and is instead going to concentrate on her acting, which will ultimately lead her to being cast as Scotch Bonnet, a full-sized sedan with an impenetrable bumper in the Summer 2015 blockbuster, Transformers 5: Still Transforming.

Dec. 8 2009 — 1:38 pm | 8 views | 0 recommendations | 1 comment

Celebuzz’s 12 Least Fascinating People of ‘09

Veteran television journalist Barbara Walters ...

Image by AFP/Getty Images via Daylife

As Barbara Walters prepares once again to celebrate those she has decided are the year’s Most Fascinating People (let the back-massaging begin on Wednesday, December 12 on ABC at 10 pm), Celebuzz began to wonder: What about the Least Fascinating People of the year? Those who, by sheer force of their aggressive mediocrity, have somehow managed to keep themselves in the public consciousness despite all reason and logic?

Is that not a skill, too? Should they not be recognized for their lack of meaningful talent or relevance?

Click through our photo gallery for a countdown of which famous people utterly underwhelmed us in the past 12 months, and our own suggestions for what they can do to stop boring us.

Dec. 7 2009 — 3:30 pm | 12 views | 0 recommendations | 0 comments

Post-Apocalyptic Road Warrior Chic: So Hot Right Now

gallery-msg-125988662998-3Between 2012, The Road, and the season premiere of MTV’s Jersey Shore, it’s definitely starting to feel like the apocalypse might finally be upon us.

And you know what that means: Hollywood’s most fashion-forward celebs are already getting into the “end of civilization” spirit by sporting some hot new styles that look like they were plucked directly out of a post-apocalyptic scorched-earth wasteland where the planet’s last remaining survivors must battle mutant space-bikers in order to stay alive.

From Rihanna to Adam Lambert to Lauren effing Conrad (who will probably also be at least partially responsible for bringing about the whole apocalypse in the first place), it’s all about spikes, sparkles, and bullet-proofed everything.

Check out Celebuzz’s photo gallery to see the full-on “Apocalypticouture” trend for yourselves!


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