‘Prostitots’: When little girls grow up too fast
Image by DanCox_ via Flickr
Loved this post from FBomb, a fun, cool site written by young feminists.
Writes Julia Z, who’s been working with little kids recently:
For some reason the little tykes at work seemed to trust me. More likely they just like talking to me because teenagers are seriously God-like to the elementary school set. Anyway, I had girls who were 6 years old coming up to me and asking me if I thought they were fat (they wanted to be skinny “like Hannah Montana”) and asking me for relationship advice. Now, I know that little girls wanting “boyfriends” is not something unusual and that many a 3rd grader has run around trying to kiss boys – although that may not be THE most normal thing it’s not exactly unprecedented. However, there was something kind of off about the way these girls were talking about boys. These girls were talking about having relationships and making out…something that wasn’t really on my radar 6-8 years after I was born.
Now, what is different about this next generation, that is “growing up so fast?” Let’s look to pop culture. Okay, so kids have a lot more going on in the way of entertainment than my over-watched 5 or 6 Disney movies and Sesame Street. And while many a member of my generation might despair at the eradication of beloved Disney movies, it’s probably not the worst thing in the world to get rid of some of those stupid-ass gender stereotypes that prevail in almost all of them. But what are we exchanging that for?
Well, for one you can be a fashionista, like Suri Cruise. My mom wouldn’t let me put anything on my face until I was fourteen, and even then it was neutral colors all the way. But why play into that so outdated “I’m a kid look” when you can look like a prosti-tot? Suri seems to pose this thought provoking question as she wears dark red lipstick and shops for more shades at Sephora. [Also – seriously Suri Cruise Fashion Blog? Seriously? That somebody actually catalogues this tot’s fashion choices is a problem all on it’s own.
It’s easy for someone my age to find all this horrifying. It is.
But it’s the next generation of girls who need to keep fighting these battles. I’m glad they are.
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My 12-year-old daughter and I consistently have running battles about the use of make-up–okay in the house, not okay at school until she gets to high school–but it’s definitely a war of attrition, in that she is constantly trying to wear me down. So far, I haven’t given up the fight and I don’t intend to. I did allow her to get her ears pierced for her 12th birthday, but that was as far as I’d let her go. This all comes down to moms and their willingness to “be the bad guy”. I have no problem with that, but I think some mothers’ insecurities trump their role as parent.
I cringe when I see this too. It’s not a new thing. I remember those nauseating kiddie beauty pageant photos of JonBenet Ramsey.
Much of this garbage comes from the awful sitcoms you’ll see on kiddie cable channels. It’s not just the writing and acting that makes these programs so awful, but the insidiously ugly plots and behavioral aspects that go along with it. I’ve restricted my youngest daughter from watching it particularly because she seems to be taking so much of this behavior to heart.
I don’t know how those producers sleep at night.
I snorted when I read your previous post “Why Chinese, Brazilian And Russian Women Look Better Than We Do.” I figured it was due to some sort of brain washing about the use of make up. Ironically, I think most of this comes from companies selling make up or girl’s magazines. I can tell you it does not come from most men. Most men could care less about make up. We either see your specific kind of beauty, or we do not, slapping on a bit of make up in either case isn’t going to change our perception (and it shouldn’t change yours either). I mean, if it did how superficial would that be?
What I would say is that young women shouldn’t be taught that their looks are made complete by the use of make up and that their looks are only one component of attractiveness to begin with. Until a young woman demonstrates some level of awareness and confidence in herself as a person – I side with (and root for) inmyhumbleopinion. Once she’s confident in herself, then sure, okay, have a little fun. But never ever think your make up makes you, it doesn’t. At best it only complements you, and at it’s worst it makes you look like a clown.
imho, virtual hug and high-five! You sound exactly like my Mom did — she would not let me pierce my ears, wear heels or even look at make-up until I was 14 and of course I pushed. In retrospect, it was very wise and in a time when girls were under so much less pressure to be sexualized. I admire and applaud your fortitude. She has the rest of her life to fight off this insanity and she has you in her court to help, for now.
jake, good for you, too, for keeping your daughter as far away from this garbage as possible. I do not envy parents in this terrible culture trying to allow girls some innocence.
john, I agree that the right guys don’t care about make-up; my sweetie has seen me (poor guy) pre and post-surgery; through all sorts of nutty medical moments where make-up is the least of our concerns, and he loves me bare-faced. I was never raised (luckily) to believe make-up makes the woman.
I completely agree with you about confidence being by far the most powerful accessory any girl or woman can have; I am a little horrified that BRIC-nation women are now buying into the whole thing.
But, especially in professional meetings and other public events (like when I’ve been on CNN or BBC), wearing some well-done make-up saves the day. In a hyper-competitive place like NYC, you still gotta be a little strategic, whatever your feminist principles.
One day my 6 yr old great niece (yes I said great) and her mom where riding in my car. I had just picked both up from work and school respectively. When my great niece (sitting in her booster seat) said Aunt Vickie “a boy at school (will call him Steve) told me I have never kissed a boy. I told Steve YES I HAVE! He said no you haven’t! So I went up to him and gave him a kiss on the lips and said “Now I Have!”
I turned to her mother, who was trying not to crawl under her seat, and said “Don’t you just wish they were out of Booster seats before they started kissing?”
Vickie, great story! Maybe the kiss was still an innocent one?
Totally innocent! It was more she felt challenged and wanted to say so there. Her mother had a talk about the kiss at length. The look on her face was like yuck I don’t even like boys yet. It was almost funny.
In response to another comment. See in context »You see, when I see this, part of me wants to agree with all of you, at least as far as the under-11’s. But once a kid reaches the age of about 11, things start changing. I can tell you firsthand- girls wear makeup, push=up bras and the like to be cool, fit in, and be attractive. They’re, or should I say we’re, not looking to get boys per say, but GIRLS. (And I don’t mean in a lesbian way). Girls wear makeup because it’s “cool”. Girls think that if they don’t wear revealing v-neck shirts and scoop shirts that they’ll be wearing “old fart clothing.” So, I don’t see why you have to limit a teen so strictly- “No makeup, boyfriends or high heels until you reach your XX birthday”. This just causes teens to rebel. How about making compromises? Teens are much more likely to listen if you work with them. Listen to what they want. Maybe you can agree on brown but not black mascara, or no eyeliner, or your first dates have to be with a parent, or something. I think that it’s honestly more important for parents to sit down with their teens and explain WHY you feel uncomfortable when they wear or act in certain ways- many teens just DON’T GET IT, or they think you’re just being “uncool” or whatever.
I would also let the teen explain why they want push-up bras, makeup, etc. Most of the time I bet you’ll hear “Everyone else wears/has it” or “It makes me prettier,” or “I just do, okay?” Which, in my mind, are all valid reasons.