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Which New York Times stories are most e-mailed? Short, punchy ones? Not so, writes the Times’ John Tierney:

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have intensively studied the New York Times list of most-e-mailed articles, checking it every 15 minutes for more than six months, analyzing the content of thousands of articles and controlling for factors like the placement in the paper or on the Web home page.

The results are surprising — well, to me, anyway. I would have hypothesized that there are two basic strategies for making the most-e-mailed list. One, which I’ve happily employed, is to write anything about sex. The other, which I’m still working on, is to write an article headlined: “How Your Pet’s Diet Threatens Your Marriage, and Why It’s Bush’s Fault.”…

But it turns out that readers have more exalted tastes, according to the Penn researchers, Jonah Berger and Katherine A. Milkman. People preferred e-mailing articles with positive rather than negative themes, and they liked to send long articles on intellectually challenging topics.

Perhaps most of all, readers wanted to share articles that inspired awe, an emotion that the researchers investigated after noticing how many science articles made the list. In general, they found, 20 percent of articles that appeared on the Times home page made the list, but the rate rose to 30 percent for science articles, including ones with headlines like “The Promise and Power of RNA.”

They’re seeking emotional communion, Dr. Berger said. “Emotion in general leads to transmission, and awe is quite a strong emotion,” he said. “If I’ve just read this story that changes the way I understand the world and myself, I want to talk to others about what it means. I want to proselytize and share the feeling of awe. If you read the article and feel the same emotion, it will bring us closer together.”

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Talk about a Trojan horse. Now you can disguise your valuable, steal-able Macbook within something that no one would really want — an old-fashioned dead-trees paper book!

The covers, $79, are individually crafted to look like some worn and weathered tome pulled from the private library of a stately pile in Gloucestershire or Tuscany.

I love my iMac, and if I get a Macbook, I would definitely want to protect my investment and its contents.

But using a book-as-decoy to protect the means with which some of us are still actually producing books — the old-fashioned kind, printed and bound and sold in stores and, we hope, added to library shelves both public and private, in addition to their every possible electronic iteration — seems a little sad.

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If you’re thinking of celebrating Valentine’s Day — which for many, is a bah-humbug faux celebration — don’t buy red roses. (Unless   it’s your sweetie’s absolutely favorite flower and color.) The only thing worse than not getting a present, if your heart is somehow set on it, is getting the same old tired trio: roses, chocolate, lingerie.

Roses will be marked up hugely on Feb. 14, because florists know they can. Chocolate is pleasant, but fattening and lacks imagination. Lingerie is tricky — most women are wearing the wrong bra size anyway, so buying her more of the wrong thing isn’t helpful. If you can sneak a peek and be sure you’re getting the right size, look at her tastes and treat her to more of the same.

Much as it’s a lovely fantasy that she really wants hot pink Victoria’s Secret because it looks soooooo good on all those models, it may not look so hot on her or be the least bit comfortable. Even if it only stays on a few minutes, a bra also needs to feel lovely, not just some lace/wire/cantilevered torture device that makes the girls look great.

This catalog, filled with an impressive array of almost every possible iteration of lingerie, from balconettes to sports bras, landed at my door this week and there are some gorgeous things on offer; check out this one, at $50.

I chose the flower above because it’s a less predictable choice, a gerbera. A bouquet of flowers in one color, mixing textures and sizes, is a lovely option; any good florist  — get there long before V-Day — can help you steer clear of the usual picks toward more intriguing, and appealing, options like delphinium or parrot tulips or stock.

1) Think of a fun, shared experience: Tickets to an upcoming concert or show. Visit a museum together. Plan a weekend getaway. Season’s tickets to the ballet, opera or her favorite sports team.

2) If you’ve got kids and don’t have household help, how about a month’s maid service? Do it yourself or hire someone to give your partner a break.

3) Take stock of the kitchen and dining area. A gorgeous new stockpot? A pretty set of stemware? A set of new linen napkins? An espresso maker? One of my favorite gifts, dirt-cheap, is a narrow glass beaker with a metal device that froths milk and makes any coffee into cappucino, available at most kitchen stores. I also love my two little chicken-shaped kitchen timers. (Check out this site, Ballard Designs, and this one, Wisteria, for all sorts of pretty, useful homegoods. I’ve bought from both and find their items stylish and well-priced.)

4) Jewelry is a default choice and, when chosen well, a treat. But how many men really understand what their partner or wife truly loves? Take a good look at the sizes, colors, styles and scale of her usual choices: silver? costume? Deco? Does she prefer necklaces or earrings? Check out EBay or local antique shops for vintage, antique or estate jewelry, a nice change from the usual mall offerings. For a woman who likes bold, strong designs, look for items from the 1930s or 1940s; more delicate styles from the Edwardian or Victorian eras. Try etsy.com for fun and quirky handmade options.

5) If you live in a cold, wintry part of the world, a pair of cashmere gloves or extra-long luscious leather or suede gloves (silk or cashmere or wool-lined) makes a practical but luxurious gift mid-February. If you don’t know her exact size, go with wool or cashmere.

6) A spa day rarely goes unappreciated. Whether she prefers a manicure, pedicure, massage, facial — or all of the above — it’s a treat to disappear and get pampered.

7) Make something with your own hands — a meal, a card, a framed photo. A slow, attentive massage.

8) If your sweetie is athletic, a yoga fanatic or a dancer, there’s a whole range of cool possibilities: some pretty, fresh workout clothes, (try Title Nine or Athleta or Lululemon), new sneakers, a set of training sessions or dance classes, new cleats or a glove or skiwear.

9) If your sweetie has everything, make a donation on her behalf to a cause or charity she values, like donorschoose.org.

10) Perfume is probably the most personal, and difficult, to buy for someone else. If you know her scent(s), go for it. If not, a safer bet might be a scented candle, triple-milled soap, like these babies from Fresh, (that smell so good they’ll perfume the bathroom and last for a month of daily use), or sachets for her drawers or suitcase.

Knowing, (not just guessing wildly) what your loved one really craves — not just some withered supermarket bunch of carnations — is the ticket.

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The church of England, whose leadership meets this week, is split over the issue of whether women there ought to become bishops.

It’s hard to believe this issue is still divisive, or an issue. Women have been bishops in the U.S. Episcopal church since 1988 and the church in the United States has been led since 2006 — for a nine-year term — by the Rev. Katherine Jefferts Schori, a former oceanographer and instrument-rated pilot; her only child, a daughter, is a pilot in the Air Force.

Only three domestic dioceses still refuse to ordain women as priests.

I belong to the Episcopal church — “episcope” is Greek for bishop. One of the reasons this denomination feels like the right fit for me is the power of women to lead congregations, local, regional and national. It will be interesting to see how the Church of England grapples with this.

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Just in time for V-Day, here’s what many of the women I know would really like to see on their Iphones:

BBABS

The Bad Boy Anti-Lock Braking System. We’ve all dated one, the bad boy whose elusiveness, vagueness, black leather or combination of same drove us to distraction. A system to alert us before we chase the next one might come in handy. Mine was Zoran, the moody Serb in black leather trousers, his desk littered with letters and cards and books inscribed with yearning by the  previous week’s conquests. “I vil not be faithfool,” he warned me. And I didn’t listen because….?

Manfax

Like Carfax, but much more useful. How many times, exactly, has this particular model been in the shop — whether therapy, rehab, AA, Narcanon, or maybe all of the above? How many dings to his bumper has he disguised? He’s crashed and burned a few times, as have we all. Better to know about it before you buy.

SzMtrs

Sorry, but it does. If we can measure the atmosphere on Jupiter, there’s a way to know, before it’s too late, this most crucial of data.

PoachAlert

You know they’re out there. You might — slut! — be one of them. A poacher, cruising the office, the subway, the bars, anywhere, for an attached man who’s a little…bored, unhappy, lonely, self-pitying. Like a shark seeking blood in the water, the poacher can’t wait to snatch a man away from his girlfriend or wife. She so doesn’t deserve him. We all need a little help knowing when these wretches are homing on on our man.

PoachAlert 3.0

A post-marital upgrade, rising in its heat-seeking ability with each additional child you share with the man you’re tracking.

ZipChip

For the man who just can’t seem to keep a lock on his fly, this app lets you know when to worry.

IDD

I Do Dishes. Men who happily fill and empty the dishwasher or, even better, wash, dry and put away all those bloody dishes, no questions asked.

HDL

The honey-do list. A classic.

HILT

“Honey, I’d love to.” HDL 3.0

RTC

I’ve always thought it would be so much simpler if, like Butterball turkeys with that little pop-up tab that signals when they’re done, guys came with some sort of incontrovertible proof that, dammit, they are ready to commit. Filled with the men — OK,  man — who’s psyched at the thought of Sundays with the in-laws, filing jointly and picking up his wet towels off the floor.