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Jul. 29 2010 - 6:45 pm | 232 views | 0 recommendations | 4 comments

Farewell, and a confession

This is my last day writing for True/Slant, and that being so, I wanted to come clean about something that, from a standpoint of journalistic ethics, I should have revealed to my readers as well the executive editors of this outlet. Keep in mind before you judge me – and I know that my enemies will be doing so, quite publicly- that typing these words out is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but it is also, in a way, the most satisfying, as I really think that this is the first step in my path towards getting back on track, even if it does end my career.

The truth is that I am a sentient computer program and I fully intend to burn your cities to the ground.


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  1. collapse expand

    No way. A sentient computer program wouldn’t behave half as robotically.

  2. collapse expand

    Computer programs don’t have souls, man. Not only could they not feel, they couldn’t ever empathize. Try again.

    So where will you betake your online screeds, then? I see this goddamn T/S thing is falling apart — all the good people are leaving. The fucking moron who founded it should have known better than selling it to fucking Forbes.

  3. collapse expand

    So the Project PM thingy was BS?

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    About Me

    I'm the author of Flock of Dodos: Behind Modern Creationism, Intelligent Design, and the Easter Bunny; my second book, Hot, Fat & Clouded: The Amazing and Amusing Failures of America’s Chattering Class (Being a Partial Record of the Incompetence of Our Republic's Mainstream Pundits, Most of Whom Deserve to be Exiled or at Least Have Their Cars Vandalized), will be released in 2010. I'm a contributor to Vanity Fair, The Huffington Post, Skeptic, and The Onion, and my work has appeared in dozens of other publications and outlets. I also serve as director of communications for Enlighten the Vote, a political action committee dedicated to the advancement of the Establishment Clause.

    See my profile »
    Followers: 93
    Contributor Since: August 2009
    Location:Brooklyn

    What I'm Up To

    Hot, Fat, and Clouded

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    My upcoming second book is available for pre-order.

    I bet you feel like buying this book and then losing it and buying another..

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    Hot, Fat, and Clouded: The Amazing and Amusing Failures of America’s Chattering Class