The Butt Bomber in ‘Rectum Gate’

In the most recently ‘absurd’ story on terrorism that I have heard in quite a long time, the would-be assassin of Saudi Arabia’s Prince Mohammed bin Nayef (head of Saudi Arabia’s counterterrorism efforts) apparently decided to hide his bomb in his underwear, apparently believing that cultural taboos would prevent a search in that part of his body, according to a Saudi government official close to the investigation.

According to CNN, the prince was slightly injured when the bomb exploded in the August 2009 attack a few months ago. Several news reports this week have said that the assailant had hidden the bomb inside of his own RECTUM, but according to the Saudi official, the government assessment discounted those reports, based on various factors.

Even so…Are you serious?

Terrorists are now literally sticking bombs up their own asses to blow people up?

Wow…

As a world, we can pretty safely say that we have entered into the realm of the  globally absurd when we now read news-stories with the words “rectum” and “terrorism” within the same sentence.

To be completely honest with you, as an international human rights lawyer, I am still utterly speechless and still scratching my head over this one single news story.

The Nutshell: Bombers are now putting bombs inside of their bums…

Yes, you read it correctly.

According to a recent story in NEWSWEEK by award-winning author (and my fellow Facebook buddy) Christopher Dickey (who also happens to be Paris Bureau Chief and Middle East Regional Editor for Newsweek Magazine), he cogently notes that “Al Qaeda has made a horrifying—if bizarre—advance in terrorist tradecraft…It’s possible the bomb—which was made from materials that wouldn’t set off metal detectors—was swallowed or stitched into him in some fashion, but according to one usually authoritative Saudi official, the explosives had been inserted in the terrorist’s rectum…”

Alas, even though ‘Rectum-Gate’ has now officially been classified to the lesser ‘Underwear-Gate’ by counter-terrorism officials close to the case, it still absolutely boggles the mind that terrorists have now begun to use the old ‘cocaine-in-a-condom-balloon’ trope into the more millenial version of this new ‘bombs in bums’ phenomenon.

Sadly, there are only two things that are going come out of this silly episode of ‘toilet terrorism’…

1) Airport screeners will probably now buy even more latex gloves;

2) In addition to already removing half of our clothing at the airport, tall and young six-foot-four Muslim males (like myself) who fit the ‘racial profile’ will probably have to spend a little more time at the airports ‘assuming the position’ and ’spreading our cheeks’ the next time that we want to board an airplane.

Thanks a alot, Butt Bomber…